What We Do In The Shadows / Cloud A**less? (Guest: Rob Weldon)

AKA EPISODE 50!! Welcome, and Bonjour from Detroit to you from us, and our guest, Author of "The Omnist Series" Rob Weldon! (https://www.theomnist.com/the-omnist-series) We recorded this episode deep in the annals, via a garage, in the house from "Barbarian," to discuss "What We Do In The Shadows" (2014 D. Jemaine Clement & Taika Waititi).  Starring: Taika Waititi, Jemaine Clement, and Rhys Darby. We debate vampire "rules," in films. If Paul IS in fact an "energy vampire." And the return of our most consistent sponsor...Ownlee Fanz (Dad had to change the spelling for legal purposes)

Plot: Viago, Deacon, and Vladislav are vampires who are struggling with the mundane aspects of modern life, like paying rent, keeping up with the chore wheel, trying to get into nightclubs, and overcoming flatmate conflicts.

1hr 33mins

**All episodes contain explicit language**
Artwork - Ben McFadden
Review Review Intro/Outro Theme - Jamie Henwood
"What Are We Watching" & "Whatcha been up to?" Themes - Matthew Fosket
"Fun Facts" Theme - Chris Olds/Paul Root
Lead-Ins Edited/Conceptualized by - Ben McFadden
Produced by - Ben McFadden & Paul Root
Concept - Paul Root

Transcript

Can I have a beer, Paul? Yeah. Would you like an IPA or a Lager dude? Let me get an IPA. I'm 37 and from Seattle.

Lager can. And you know better than I'd get a hazy IPA. Hey, everyone. It's Paul. Just want you to know we're in the annals.

We're deep we're deep deep deep in the annals. We are not in the studes. We came in the back door in the garage. So there may be some echoing, there may be some weird sounds. Everyone's fine.

There's no one down here screaming. There's no 1 down here captive. It's all fine. You've seen Barbarian. Right?

It's not that at all. And that was just a chair. And don't put the fact that Rob Weldon is from Detroit and Barbarian, you know what I'm saying, that we're in the garage? Don't add any of that up. Enjoy the show.

And welcome to the Review Review. This is a movie podcast. I am 1 of the hosts of this podcast. My name is not Paul. My name is not Ben.

I am a co host of this podcast also. And, author Rob Wilton is with us today. And I am not a co host. No. You're a guest.

You're way above that. Way above that. I could be a co guest. It could be. That's happened before.

We had multiple guests. 2 personalities. Can you stick with just with 1 for us this 1 time? Just this 1. The serial killer one from identity.

Got it. Author and I gotta say too, the best damn barman from Burbank to Bristol. Bris Love them. Bristol. That's coast to coast.

Coast to gate. Bristol, bonjour. Bonjour, sir. The emphasis has nothing to do with it. Bullshit.

This is podcast Oh, we're back in Portugal, This podcast, I think, is 1 of the dozens of people who does know us. Dozens. And you are new to this podcast, we take a movie that a guest brings to us, preferably something that's 7 years old or older, something that's not part of a major franchise, and something that maybe they want to look at again or feel passionately about 1 way or the other. They bring it to us. We all watch it in our own time, and we kinda come to the table, give our first initial, review of it that when we first launched it, talk about our new watching, and then we discuss, and we'll see if, our opinions have changed at the end of that conversation.

Very detailed. Was that was that enough or is that too much? Is there such thing? It's never too much in the words of Luther Vandross. Well, I think brevity is the soul of wit.

So maybe can we redo it? Let me try it 1 more time. Yeah. This is a podcast. You liar.

That was concise and specific ish. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a program. And this movie, that we all watched is What We 2 in the Shadows.

Mhmm. How excited is everybody to be here? Paul? I'm pretty pumped. I'm pretty pumped to be here to talk about this movie.

I had a beer with Rob before we came here, and I could almost feel, like, the lid boiling over because we could not talk about it. Yeah. We distracted ourselves. Talking about Star Trek and other things. Yeah.

Sports ball. Sports ball, Star Trek, Starball. Yeah. Wow. Rollerball.

Starring rollerball. Yeah. Classic. And how are you? How excited are you?

Pretty excited to be here to talk about this with you fine gentlemen. Looking forward to it. Yeah. Rob Yes. Tell us about you, what you do.

Like, go on and on, please. This podcast is too short. Currently a bartender, and, I've managed to downsize my life to the point where I can write more hours a week than I'm actually bartending. That's rad. And that's that wasn't easy for me to pull off, but I'm there now, and I wanna keep it that way.

Mhmm. But it's working, and I'm writing. And, the reason we picked this movie, I was looking for something that inspired the book series and has been part of I mean, I think about this movie or actually the TV series too. But, I think about the slot, and I wanted to I I just I'm shocked you guys hadn't done it. Because to me, this is this is like blood.

Pun intended. I think this is You need it to survive. I think this is the most recent movie that we've done. Still ten years though. I think it is the the newest movie we've done.

It's not a new new. Yeah. People don't take that seven years and go, oh, so I can do like a 2016 movie or whatnot? They don't seem to a lot of people go Well, because time feels It's all flat circle. Yeah.

Like the earth. Can you I don't know about your, book series. Yeah. It's it's, it's called the omnist series. I'd written a book called Consumeo Spiritual Emporium published a couple years ago.

I didn't realize it was it was gonna be a series, so I was just I was writing a sequel, but it wasn't really a sequel in many ways. All of these books are they're like bottle episodes in a way. You're Oh, cool. You don't have to read them in order. You I love that.

Just pick and choose where where you wanna fit. Yeah. Where can where can I or others find it? Amazon, obviously. Bezos?

There's a there's a there's a shop in Burbank called the Crooked Path, which is just a few blocks away from the bar that I work at. And, they're selling it too. Cool. Yep. I wanna read it.

Fits into the LA noir genre? Yes and no. I I've sort of invented a a concept called magical noir. And so, basically, it's like horror comedy mixed with fantasy and urban fantasy and and whatever. But, it's still very LA, so you can smell the smog and, you know, it's almost chewy at times and, you know, the dust in the store and and whatnot.

So it's it's it's got a noir vibe without being about a detective trying to solve a murder. Got it. Okay. Yeah. Can you say Cool.

Can you yeah. Can you say the title 1 more time for me? The omnis series is the book series, and Consume a Spiritual Emporium is the first book. Okay. Cool.

There's 1 It has 5 published and the sixth one will be coming out in July 0. What's the cat what's the 1 about the cat or that has the cat? Mostly human, mostly cat. So great. I love that title.

The cover's great. The covers are great. That's book 2. Yeah. So By the way, the my the covers, the reason I love them so much is they're they're made by a guy named Dustin Stanton.

Mhmm. And he's just a phenomenal artist, and he validates my books in a way. Like, people look at it and they don't realize, you know, that they're gonna think I'm on Penguin or something. I don't know. Are you saying people judge books by a cover?

What? Isn't that the point of a cover? Yeah. I guess that's true. You're trying to influence their purchasing.

Yeah. That's why we have a dozen of listener. They love our cover. Hey, who made that cover? You sure did.

You and Paul Blart Mall Cop really make that thing pop. I don't think a lot of people notice that that's balls. I was happy that you noticed the Paul Blart Mall Cop. You know what, listener? If you can find Paul Blart Mall Cop, you can be on the show.

Get him on. Oh, I like that. Send us a I don't know. A screenshot. Yeah.

Exactly where he is. Like magnify it. Yeah. We wanna see more Paul Blart. People looking for Paul Blart.

Which is rare because nobody wants to see Paul No. More Paul Blart. Is that a franchise? Could someone bring Paul Blart if it's not on 1 of our lists? Kevin James wants to see more Paul Blart.

He's he's the 1 at the studio like, you know what people want? More Paul Blart. That's what that is. I thought it was a garage door. Your chair is blurting.

It keeps blurting. It will not stop blurting. Yeah. I apologize listener. Paul is farting a lot tonight, but also our garage.

We're in the garage and there are other people who live down here. It is like barbarian. There are are several people down here who are murdering and eating and other things, so forgive us. But now we're gonna get to 1 of our favorite segments of the show, which is what are we watching? We just love the song.

I mean, we do love the segment too, but we Yeah. I think it's mostly the song. The song is so good. Thank you, Matthew Foskett. Matthew Foskett.

We really appreciate it. Well, this is where we talk about what we're watching. Rob, if you're not ready, you can have a moment to prepare yourself. Yeah. We just say 1 or 2 things that we're watching and how we feel about it.

Nice. Or what you've seen recently or anything like that. Rewatched, what have you. So if you'd like to take the baton or if you'd like 1 of us to run with it, you can I I'll blurt it out? Paul's blurting again.

Paul's Paul's Paul's Paul's Paul's blart. This chair that's made of my lower colon. Yeah. That's like a This chair that is my ass. A straight to a straight to DVD movie is like Paul Paul Farts.

Paul Fart Mall Cop. Raul Farts. I'm sorry. I don't remember any of it. Wow.

Mallman. Devote fest. Yeah. What a cool podcast we have. Very intelligent.

I am watching the newest season of Loot with my Rudolph on Apple TV plus, this fucking chair. I'm it's funny because they probably can't even hear you. I know. I can. So I am really, really enjoying the new season.

I really liked the previous season quite a bit. And I am watching the most current season of hacks. Watched the first couple episodes. Really hasn't missed a beat. It's 1 of the better written it's a comedy.

It's not a sitcom. It's 1 of the better written comedies that's out there. I don't know. I really enjoy it, and Jean Smart is just so fucking phenomenal. God.

Great. That's it for me though. It's really just like I just wanna talk about loot. I wanna talk about hacks. Yeah.

Funny shows, enjoyable shows. Pick it up, put it down if you want. Hacks has a very satisfying through line with a couple of the character dynamic situations. But I think it's just harder and harder to find kind of that stuff that has teeth, and those things both have teeth. I wasn't, I wasn't like I didn't need you to justify why you watch them.

I know, but I always like to. But I like to go on and on and on. I was judging you. I was like, no. That's what Paul watches.

What is my favorite sound on the face of the planet? Farting. My own voice. Farting. Also sounds like farting.

Sounds of yeah. And the sounds of the screams coming from other garages down here. Those are my 3 favorite sounds. I'm just glad it's not Aug. 0 right now in this garage.

The so this garage, when we've we rehearsed an entire play in this garage in the summer. Back of I don't know. It's probably like six years ago now, but Woof. Yeah. We had fans going Tempest.

Oh, funny. Yeah. Okay. So when you know, when you wanna make art and you happen to have a garage OnlyFans going. We had an only fans.

Yeah. Paul's dad's only fans was our was our, main sponsor. Yeah. They let them have the manual fans comped. My dad comped those, which was nice about that.

Those were they had me to pay for those. Poor Rob is like, what the fuck is going on? I'm almost sure of it. I don't mind at all. You can't be fan you can't be a fan of the OnlyFans?

Nope. No social media presence. Only this podcast, which is so weird. That's a legitimate, very successful business. Well, we're still on What Are We Watching.

So thank you, Paul. He needed to know what OnlyFans was even after he said, I don't care. I was like, no, you're gonna know. Classic Charlie Jones line. Right?

I don't care. Dude, would you like to go next or would you like me to go? Well, part of my postmodern monk syndrome about being a writer that doesn't drive a car Mhmm. Is that I also don't have Wi Fi or cable at home intentionally. That it's part of the reason why I'm actually writing as much as I do.

Yeah. I was distracted greatly in the past. I'm sure. I had to hack myself. Yeah.

Like, they talk about they tell you about hacking life and hacking your kitchen and stupid things, but they don't tell you how to hack you. So you can learn really learn what what's holding you back, you can do things. There's some folks that live in my garage that like to hack you if you wanna you just have to keep going down levels. We're almost there. There's another staircase somewhere.

Right? Yeah. Exactly. I can just I real quick, I just admire the shit out of this guy was telling me earlier that you said 60000 words in a month? Yeah.

I did that. That's I wrote 7 sequels for the first from the first book. And Stephen King, we talking about Stephen King. He he wrote a book called On Writing, and he's phenomenal. And even if I'm not the biggest fan of necessarily all of his books and things like that, as a writer, he gets it right.

And he he talked about writing 2000 words a day, and I wanted to do a NaNoWriMo, which is, like, national November writer's month or something like that where, basically, you write 50000 words in thirty days. And while my best friend was the beta reader for the first book, I thought to myself, like, let me see if I can do that. And I actually end up writing 60000 words in thirty days. That's incredible. That was the the first draft of Mostly Whom, Mostly Cat.

Wow. And he wasn't done with his notes yet, so I wrote a third book and then a fourth and then a fifth. And at this point, he did get it back to me, and I'm like, I can't turn the faucet off yet. Like, what if it doesn't come back? Yeah.

You know? Yeah. But, yeah, I wrote 7 sequels. So 8 books total. So I'm still getting through this because revision is everything.

Right. Agree. The story doesn't even happen until I won't even let my editor read anything until I've done 5 drafts because because, a, they're that bad. And then, b, you start finding out what the real stories are, the real motivations behind things, and that's really where things happen. I agree.

The people are too quick to send what they have. This I feel like this is done or say something's done. Yeah. And then you read it and you're like Or a podcast. Alright.

This one's cooked. I can tell you that. Well, luckily with the podcast, you know, we're not beholden to any story. We're just holding to Paul. Paul is the editor of this podcast.

So He He can So I have to be Pauled in? So if you said something's out of order, he could definitely put them in order to make you sound like a complete asshole. Look, everybody on this podcast Although, all this is getting cut. Nobody knows it until they listen to it later. They're like, I have no idea I love Steven Seagal so much.

And it's like, isn't that crazy? But for me, it was Tuesday. He must have blacked out when you're talking about Steven Seagull for all that. So back to what we're watching now. Yes.

Sure. I was saying that I'm not really watching a whole lot of things right now. Well, I did watch a movie today. You did watch this? I did watch a movie.

That's all we need. I mean, it's all we need. I technically still have a television. It's just not smarted up to a Wi Fi. Sure.

I still have a Blu ray player, so it still plays me things. About a month or two ago, I rewatched Freaks and Geeks. Yeah. Oh, great show. Great show.

Yeah. But, you know, am I really watching anything? No. I am watching I'm still watching making my way through Ripley. Oh, yeah.

I'm not watching anything very quickly right now. I'm taking my time. But Ripley Good for you. Is great. And I'm every episode, I'm more and more in love with the show and in love with how it shot, in love with the lighting, in love with the black and white motif, the sort of like it really kinda leans into classic Italian films because it's also in Italy.

And Andrew Scott is just kind of giving a master class in that. I'm really excited to watch that. I'm editing our mummy episode for mummy's day right now. And, you and the burrito were just, like, bean and chi ing all over that thing. And I Yeah.

I really wanna watch it. Well, you know how Chi ing? Bean and cheese ing. Yeah. Chi.

Like our energy Spreading his chi. Tim and I I went and saw real quick, I went and saw, episode 1, The Phantom Menace in the theater. Yeah. Twenty five year anniversary. How was that?

Another garage. Are you gonna rate it twice? Because you can now because it's never gonna be the the subject of the episode. Yeah. Probably true.

When I first saw that movie, it was 1999. And Yep. I was taken out of school by my father to go watch it Okay. With his company. And I was well, I don't know how old I was but I don't I didn't really have a complete honest opinion about it.

All I knew was that it wasn't what I expected and I would listen to the adults around me who definitely did not like it. And so it was like, oh, Okay. And over the years, I think, like, there's I don't wanna go too far into a Star Wars hole, but like the prequels have Just don't. We're gonna stay out of the Sarlacc pit. Yeah.

So let Remain in the annals. Yeah. We don't wanna be down in that asshole. We're in our we're in We're in this 1. We're in this asshole.

It was Tuesday. Anyway, I think that there are some things about the, the overall vision of the prequels that's kind of interesting because at least it it compared to the Disney sequels. It at least had a trajectory. There was at least a a goal in mind and a and a character arc to follow. And it was a singular vision.

Yeah. A lot of that vision, I think is fucking awful. Yeah. But I appreciate that it had Well, it had to get to episode 4. Right.

So like, obviously They knew where they were going. They had to. Yeah. The movie is still bad, but like seeing again in the theater, some of the stuff that was really cool to see in the theater was like pod racing is a really Oh, no doubt. Yeah.

Sequence. And the duel of the fates is Oh. Probably the best lightsaber fight, I think, still in the series. I agree. But other than that, like Johnny Williams is cutting it up.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the score is great, but the effects and, like, a lot of the dialogue is just the the wild thing about that movie is that it's it's 5 acts Mhmm. And we don't really they don't really ground into anything until they get to tattooing. And that's, like, almost the either however you wanna measure it, either the beginning of third act or the end of the second act.

And so it's, like, that's when, like, things start to, like, you start to go, like, oh, this is what this movie is about. Other than before that, it's, like, fucking they're they're up in space, then they crash and they go in the water and there's fucking gun guns and they come out and like there's just like it's just it's just craziness happening. It's very convoluted. Yeah. And who am I following?

Who's the main character of that movie? And that's the biggest problem with that entire movie because there's not really a main character. So They're just world building at you for a lot of it. Yeah. Rob, did you see this in the theater?

I did not. I No? Rented it back when Blockbuster is still a thing. Oh. And, I don't think I made it past twenty minutes.

Good for you. I know. Good for me. It's like I still wasted the money on the twenty minutes. Paul, I went to Blockbuster and rented the goddamn thing.

It was late by your day. The yeah. There there was no streaming services then. Sometimes it's hard to turn something off though. Sometimes I think it's like it's like, hey, pat on the back.

Just ask his girlfriend. So a couple things about, episode 1 real quick. Keep in mind everyone, the pilot of princess Amidala's ship is none other than famous roadie, Del Preston, from Wayne's World 2 because he sleeps upside down. He can live forever across galaxies. Doesn't matter.

And then what does everybody think just because he's so money? What if we called John Williams Johnny Bills? It would have been better if you didn't fart while you said that. It's blarding. I have assistance.

Okay. We've talked about what we're watching. Every joke you say today is gonna be undermined by your chair. Hey, that's a fact. Well, we're gonna talk about that.

That's how he does his best thinking. It's true. Hey, I On the toy The brain gets a little more oxygen. Yeah. You let some out, like, put some back out.

Because because my brain's in my ass. We all know that. Okay. Facts now. Fact sheet.

Archaeology is the search for fact. What we do in the shadows. This is a lot of production companies. I'm gonna name a few. Defender films, Unison films, and the New Zealand film commission as well as New Zealand documentary film.

I think they made that 1 up. Something? The documentary 1, I think, is made up. Twenty fourteen. This is an r rated film.

It's an hour and twenty six minutes. The budget for this film is $160,000,0.0. That's awesome. Nothing. It's a it's a wish in a fountain.

Yeah. You flipped a coin. The adjustment for that is 2,110,000,.00. Opening weekend, Feb. 13, 2015, a day for the lovers in The United States.

That's when it was released. $89,000 was the opening weekend. Adjusted, that is a hundred and 17 thousand. Final gross in North America, 3 Point 4 7 Million. That's 4,.58 adjusted.

Final gross is 740,000,0.0, that's 9,.76 adjusted. Other releases this weekend, 50 Shades of Grey. That was not That was my chair. And Kingsman, the secret service. Weekend top five, Fifty Shades, Kingsman, the secret service, the Spongebob movie, Out of Water, American Sniper, and Jupiter Ascending.

Does anyone remember Jupiter Ascending? I unfortunately do. I don't is that the Channing Tatum or the Tom Hanks? Channing Tatum. Channing Tatum.

Great. That tells you how much I remember. You think of Cloud Atlas? Cloud Atlas is the Hanks. I did see that.

Mhmm. And? It's a Wachowski. Right? Yeah.

Kind of blows your mind. Okay. I hear the books. A lot of things going on. You really, really, really, really, really, really like it.

I liked it. I've I I saw it twice back then. Okay. But I haven't seen it since then. So Okay.

Well, maybe not. Holds up or don't. Cloud Atlas is shot. Cloud Atlas. The top 5 films this year, Star Wars episode 7, The Force Awakens.

I guess episode 1 didn't get a rerelease this year. The only year it didn't. Jurassic World, Furious 7, Avengers, Age of Ultron, Good Spader. I just wanna say something nice. And Minions, these are all previously established properties, everyone.

Every single thing I just said. I think I saw every single 1 of these except for minions in the theater. I did not see Furious 7 in the theater. Yeah. Maybe I didn't.

I don't know. They all blend together. Which 1 was 7? I said forget about it, co. Other films from 2014, The Revenant, Mad Max Fury Road, a masterpiece.

I'm getting a sequel or a prequel. Yeah. Tomorrowland, straight out of Compton, goosebumps, train wreck, the big short, and a good man starring Steven Seagal. Playing someone else, I assume. Probably not the good man.

The title because that doesn't make sense. If Steven Seagal's playing that guy. Allegedly. Yeah. He's a he'd play Unalleged.

Piece of shit that defected to Russia? Because he's a monster? Allegedly. Letterboxed average is 4.1. Follow us, won't you?

I'm at run b m c. I'm at paul x badly. Rob, you've fucking achieved enlightenment. You don't have a letterboxed. Right?

Do you have a letterbox account? Oh, got it. Why would you even ask him? I love him. I love he just looks at me blankly.

I love it. What the What a horrible question. You're such a great host in this podcast. I knew what I was asking you. Over like constantly right now.

Yes. Because I don't drive a car. I get run over by the other cars. The electric 1. Well, he's like the doucheiest in it.

He's an alpha douche. You're not gonna cut that out. You know I cut out whenever you say what because I'm embarrassed. You don't want people to follow you because you're embarrassed. Because I'm embarrassed.

People spray painting your It's embarrassing. Okay. Where are we? Who cares? Simon Abrams for ebert.com gave this 3.5 out of 4 stars.

Rotten Tomatoes, 96%. That's right. Metacritic, 76. That's 1 of the highest metacritics we've had, that can be misleading when you hear a number like that. Major award wins and nominations.

This is a Saturn nominee for best picture. When you're in the sci fi horror world, this is a big deal. We like to make sure we mention that. This also is a Bram Stoker award nominee for writing in horror film. Nice.

Which again, big deal in the genre world. It is my turn. The director of this Hey, Cameron. The director of this film is Taika Waititi. You know him from Thor Ragnarok, Thor Love and Thunder, Jojo Rabbit.

And another director was Jermaine Clement. Jermaine. He just directed What We Do in the Shadows. They both also directed TV, episodes of What We Do in the Shadows and Flight of the Concordes. Yeah.

Love that show. Same. Writers, Taika Waititi, next Cole wins, and Jermaine Clement, Fly of the Conchords, director of photography, Richard Bluck, Beyond the Edge, Enter the Rainbow. And another DP was DJ Stipson, Power Rangers Ninja Steel and Power Rangers Dino Charge. I'm a I'm a Dino Charge guy.

Do you think do they shoot a lot of Power Rangers in New Zealand? Or Australia maybe? I don't know. All I know is I'm a Dino Charge guy. Asia.

I don't know. 332393. Music was plan 9. Saving Grace, Perfect Strangers, Poppy. Producers, Taika Waititi, Our Flag Means Death, TV show that was great that got canceled.

Jermaine Clement, Wellington Paranormal TV, and Chelsea Winstanley, Capo, and Emmanuel Michael, Eagle versus Shark. This had a lot of producers. Great movie, Eagle versus Shark. I've not seen it. It's good.

Okay. Also has Jermaine Clement. Shocking. In the movie as a performer, Taika Waititi plays Vlogo, Lightyear, Free Guy, Green Lantern. Jermaine Clement is Vladisloff.

Dinner for Schmucks, Men in Black 3, and Moana. I'm shiny. Great song. Corey Gonzales Mosser Mouser? Corey Gonzales Mouser.

Nick, Baby Dunn, Mean Mums. Not not like mummies. Right? Nope. Just Mums.

Mums. That's the word. Mom is the word. Johnny Brew, Deacon, the Paragon, the Town, Mega Time Squad, Stewart Wutherlin, Stu. He was in a movie called Boy.

Before you move on, I just wanna say it's awesome that Johnny Brew started a movie called Mega Time Squad. Yeah. And I need to And this see it. Is the town that's, Ben Affleck? This town.

Oh, this town. I'm sorry. So not the Ben Affleck. Jeremy. I really wanna start going off on a big Jeremy Renner thing, but I won't.

You don't wanna go off on, the town, You don't Little fucking Duncan, I got a Lager here doing it. You got a Lager? You wanna go off on the town? I mean, Affleck fucking rules, bro. Ben Fransham plays Peter.

Thirty days of night, turn the screw, the Lord of the Rings films as various creatures because, of course, New Zealand. Jackie Van Vliet plays Jackie, Audrey, Newt Tuesday, the breaker uppers, and Ellen Stake Staitko, Pauline and the Beast, Russian snark, agent Anna. Real quick. Yeah. Has anyone seen Nude Tuesday?

Mm-mm. Sounds good. Nudes Day? Oh, they missed that 1, didn't they? Yeah.

Someone did. Yeah. Nude Tuesday. I I've got the low hanging fruit if you guys need any. That's what you get on nude Tuesday.

Bless him. Bless him. Rob. Fun facts fun facts, everybody. It's fun fact time.

Here we go. You have some fun things for us? Thank you for helping me with this. Yeah. We like to help each other.

Well, what was cool is that I'm such a big fan of when actors are allowed to improvise Mhmm. Because so often the better jokes come out. And I'm a writer, and I'm still saying that. Yeah. Sometimes the jokes get better.

Do the lines first, but then also do your own. Will Will Ferrell's famous for that. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of his funniest stuff is stuff that he improvise.

So they improvised a hundred and twenty five basically, a hundred twenty five hours of this freaking movie. Wow. And they cut it down to, ninety minutes, and that took them, like, a year. Like, about what this podcast is gonna be. That's gonna take me a long time to come down.

And Stu Rutherford plays a guy named Stu, Stuart, and then in in the movie. That's some of the improvisation right there. Yeah. So basically, he had not played a primary acting role in movie prior to this this 1. He was hired for the film under the impression that he would be working on computers and that he would play a small part in it.

And what's funny is that in the movie, he is a guy working with computers. It's a and he has a massive part. I'm sorry. He he have 1? It's so funny.

Part. Sue's great. Anyway, Jamaican Lent, I loved him from Flight of the Conchords. We're talking about that before. He based his performance on Gary Old man's, Dracula in Bram Stoker's Dracula back in '92.

I saw that at the at the movie theater. I was in college. Oh, hey. I actually really like that movie. But, when practical effects practically shot, nothing shot outdoors, which is crazy.

Yeah. Really cool movie. I didn't know that. It's all done on sound stages. Which is even wild.

Train stuff? Correct. Wow. And it's miniatures. I wonder why you're doing that.

It's really cool. It's a cool movie. Yeah. I just think it's really weird that Jermaine Clement didn't read Dracula. He based Yeah.

His performance on a performance. Like, I think that's so great. How good Gary Old man is. It's so good. Yeah.

Gary Old man, dude. You know, are you really gonna top that? No. But you know what I can It's an iconic portrayal. Yeah.

But everyone is gonna try to top them. So you were talking about how the movie opening weekend in The US didn't sound like it was that high. But it was only distributed in The US after a successful Kickstarter campaign. Yeah. That's how it funded the filmmakers to bring it to The States to com and compete in several festivals.

Follow-up movie titled Werewolves is currently in development. The documentary is set to follow a group of werewolves living in modern day Wellington, New Zealand, which is well where this takes place. Yeah. I'm surprised that didn't come quicker. I I try not to interrupt here in the edit.

This is at least the second time. We I mean, Rob mentioned low hanging fruit. It's all there. It's all there. Nobody's picking it.

Picking those plumes. Yeah. They're busy. Well, they did. Yeah.

They are. They went right into well, yeah. Wasn't it called swear wolves? I thought that was gonna be the name of it. Oh, that would be even funnier.

That's They do say that in the That's really true. Werewolves not swearwolves. We're not swearwolves. We're werewolves. Fuck that.

The successful FX TV comedy based on this film aired for several seasons, and it's still airing, sir. Is it still? Oh, yeah. They have another season coming. Oh, right.

I thought Last season. Yep. Last season coming. Oh, I was gonna say this upcoming 1 I think is the last. So I should have phrased it a little better on the last, but the show's so fucking phenomenal.

Matt We'll talk about this later. My dude, Matt Berry is the bomb. And thing is that he's playing the same character that he played in IT crowd. Just make him a vampire. Well well, and like He's the same guy.

Also in Garth Meringue's dark place. Also, like, he is man. Facts. He invented a character. Gizmo.

Toast of London. Oh. Oh. Toast of London. One of the greats, man.

1 of the greats. And the last part here, New Zealand documentary board introduced in the opening credits is not a real government organization. That's what I thought. But it's a company specializing in comedy productions. That's kinda crazy.

So it's like a real fake fake real company. Yeah. And this is That's so fun. It's and so now it's real. Yeah.

Yeah. Right? This is our first, mockumentary. Oh, really? Oh, it is.

Yeah. It's a stun tab. We haven't done any Christopher Guest. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

No. We haven't had dropped it gorgeous. This is our first one. Yeah. Ben.

Yeah. Who gets to do this? I think you should. I should do it. Yeah.

Rob, we're so glad you came. Oh, no. Are you ready to stop having fun or start having fun finally? Whichever 1 of this. Is this where the lights go off?

Move. Move a lot. Go down this stair. The barbarians here. I gotta get out of the annals.

Rob, you're a writer. I believe in you. What's the log line of this film? The log line? Give me, like, your two, four sentence pitch of this movie.

So sum it up. You are evil. You are evil. Yes. Listen.

Listen. We like you. We're not doing this because we don't like you. We're just doing because we're evil. Yeah.

But I can't even read log lines for my own stuff. How am I supposed to do that? The longest amount of time working on log lines for my stuff. This is by far impossible. This is the most difficult log line I think we've had.

I will say that too. Yeah. I mean This is a hard this is a difficult pitch. I think I I yeah. I feel like I could take a stab at it.

Okay. Or 2 stabs, if you know what I mean. A poke? But A poke or 2? I'm okay.

Do you yeah. This isn't about accuracy. This is just about, like I didn't so trick we is that we do have the log lane, but I didn't read it. So I'm gonna take a stab. You're gonna do it.

You're gonna poke at it. Alright? A group of vampires living as roommates in small town New Zealand take on a new vampire and have to show him the ways. That was pretty fun. To a documentary.

Yeah. I guess that was the part I missed is that they're being they're being recorded. That was the 1 thing that was like missing. Rob, do you wanna No. No?

Okay. Did does everybody wanna hear it? Yes. Yep. Vago, Deacon, and Vladislav are vampires.

I like a group of vampires a little bit better than all that. Too much information. Yep. The names. Who are struggling with the mundane aspects of modern life, like paying rent, keeping up the chore wheel, trying to get into night clubs, and overcoming flatmate conflicts.

But that to me, doesn't introduce the what the movie is about. Right. No. It doesn't. Which to me Which to me.

To me, the movie is about It's all Nick. It the the log line is so difficult that they completely failed at it. Well, you you did pretty well buddy. Well, and you also have to pretty well. But you also have to consider like, this is a hard concept for to sell to producers.

Yes. So I think highlighting the sort of like extreme magical element and then countering it with the mundane is their way of being like, it's vampires but they're doing normal things. On that note, speaking of like the mundane and not coming up with like it's like my dad's business like the only fans like get with the fucking times bro. Start selling AC and stuff. Okay.

We're gonna go to break. We're gonna do break. This episode is brought to you by only fans. Oh, no. My dad is gonna be so mad at me.

They've they've expanded. Only fans has expanded out of Washington state. They're, all across California now. Put a baseball card in in there. Sounds like an idea.

You can speak into it and sound like Darth Vader, you know. We're gonna take a break now. We're so stoked. We're gonna be back to talk to Rob about original experiences, up to date experiences, and then go through the movie. Will you stick around?

I mean, I am handcuffed. Okay. Good. Well, you can cut that part. Right, Paul?

You can cut what's that? You can cut that part. Are you sweating your tail off this summer? All the way to the point where you find yourself cloud assless? Well, have I got news for you.

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This is Paul. Thanks for listening to our What We Do in the Shadows episode with the Rob Welldone or Weldon. Great job, Rob. Job, Rob. Wow.

I'm just killing it today. I'm Paul acts badly on Letterboxd. Ben is at run b m c on Letterboxd. Please follow us on Instagram at review x two podcast. Rate, subscribe, review, all that shit.

Let's just get back to it. What is his vineyard called? The name In Walla Walla? Yep. He has I can't remember.

Is a Shakespeare reference. I can't remember. His wine is called Exit Pursued by a Bear. Oh, good. Clearly.

He worked at he worked at Ashland for a long time. Oh, did he? Yeah. Yeah. That's where he started.

I think that's where Lynch found him. You can grab him. Oh, it's Southern Oregon. Clear my throat right now. By the way, we smoke and drink on this podcast openly.

Hey, we're back obviously. We've been back. We've been all from the only fans. We're all cooled down. How are they expanding still and affording all these ads and Well, people keep giving them money.

They keep signing up for their website. I don't know why. I don't understand it. I don't understand it damn lick. I'm not a mom.

I can't do it. But are you a mum? A mum? That's the word. Okay.

We gotta do this. We are gonna play around, Rob of Cinephile. This is what we do on the program here. I can sin. Can you file?

That, I don't know. D. Don Muskevich is also 1 of my favorite films and file looking the motherfucker. There you go. So I say the actor and the movie.

Yep. Go. Jennifer Jason Lee, the Hudsucker proxy. Rush. I'm blanking.

Is she she she? No. Fuck. I'm not gonna tell you. Don't look at me like I'm here to help you.

You're out. Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice. It's over for you. Is she in that? I don't know.

It's over. Okay. You're done. Can I look it up? I'm already confusing her with Ellie Shady.

I'm gonna say single wife females. I just thought Be be be be. The first two movies I thought of were actually Ellie Shady. So I just have to look this up because I need to see if I Gotta know. Isn't it Holly Hunter that's in Batman v Superman?

Is Holly Hunter in it? I don't know. Jennifer Jason Lee wasn't in, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, was she? She was. It was.

I got it. I was confusing her with Holly Hunter. You're right. I got 1. I got 1.

I got 1. I was confusing You're right. I got 1. We did it. What I'm gonna get though.

I I I was confusing her with Holly Hunter. Ben. Me? What was your first experience with What We Do in the Shadows if this wasn't it? And what was your experience this time?

Thank you for the question, Paul. It's almost like I wanna drive the podcast forward. It was Almost. The year was Not quite. The year was 2014.

I was in a sketch comedy group on YouTube called OrangeFest. And I had been at my friend Devin, who was the editor of said, sketch comedy. His place on top of Queen Anne Hill. You'd be the 1 that runs in front of someone when the scene was over? The editor?

Yeah. That's how you edit. Sure. In proverbs. This was on this was a a recorded thing.

Oh, on oh, god. On the YouTubes. Got it. Anyway, I was at his house on the top of Queen Anne Hill and my buddy, Matt Barrow, texted me and said, do you wanna go see What We Do in the Shadows at the SIFF oh, it wasn't called SIFF then, at the Uptown Cinema in Queen Anne. And I was like, sure.

And I think I was pretty I was a pretty big fan of Flight of the Concords and that's kind of all I knew about this. Sure. And so drove my little 01/25 Vino down the hill and Damn. Went and saw it at the cinema, the Uptown cinema and fucking loved it. Alright.

And you just rewatched this? I just rewatched it on Friday. And it's interesting rewatching it now after having watched the show. Yeah. It's a fascinating because, I mean, I don't wanna like we'll get into it.

But, I came away with 4 cats with human faces. Fuck. Damn it. You did that to fuck me. You fucked me.

Mostly vampire, mostly cat. Yeah. You fucker. Damn it. He knew that's what I was gonna do.

He knew it. Maybe. He lost on purpose so he could take it. 4 cats with Jen. Faces.

With Jemaine faces. So just Jemaine. Jemaine. The face of Jemaine. Passing it this way.

Nice. Rob, what was your first experience? Back in 2015, I was dating a girl who recommended it to me and said, oh my god. How do you not know this movie exists? Because I didn't.

And she's like, this is exactly your wheelhouse, what you like, what you would do, and whatever. And, yeah, so we rent out 1 of the streaming services. That's back when I still had those things. Sure. And, and, yeah, it it was like she nailed it.

Like, I was just 5 out of 5 for you. No. Not quite? No. It was maybe 4.5 because remember, I I I'm still looking for a there's not a lot of story in it.

It is Right. It's meant to be a documentary. And in order to be a fake documentary, you've gotta you can't have the story story. Mhmm. I mean, Christopher Guest can get away with that a little bit more, but I think this was proving a point.

It was a a slice of life. Yeah. It was a proof of concept Yeah. In a way. I think they who knows if this is real or not, but I think they were already thinking that we could do so much with this.

We could franchise the shit out of this. Oh, no doubt. I think they were too. Yeah. Absolutely.

So when I watch it, I'm like, this is ridiculously good. It's so creative. The idea of, hey, let's take the office and make them vampires. Mhmm. It's ridiculous.

Just the way they there's a there's a there's like this thing about the New Zealand accent that is so casual. Brit's so I'll just say fair. Brit. Yeah. Brit.

Brit. Brit. And so, like What? These, like, conversations about the roommates and everything in this dialect and their vampires, it just, like, makes it somehow even funnier. It's more delightful somehow.

I agree with you. Yeah. So so yeah. I rated it very high. So I I still gave it a four four point five out of 5.

Okay. So most recent watch, it's like ironclad for you. Still way up four five. 4 out of 5. 4 point 5 out of 5.

Actually dropped it a tiny bit. I dropped it to 4. Okay. Because and I and I know this is not fair, but the series is that much better. I I had the same experience.

A 5. I had the same experience. Is a freaking 5. I have the same experience. And, like, and it's only because they got better that something else in relative terms is worse.

And because, again, it's not a great movie. Like, if you read that script, I don't think you're gonna look at this and go, oh my gosh. This is gonna be an amazing franchise. It's not a it's a serious franchise. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I just think that it was it was proof of concept. They nailed it. The tone, the jokes, the it inspires me. It makes me want to write dark comedy as books.

But I'm not quite as slapsticky as they are. They're a little bit sillier than what I write, but it's in the wheelhouse. Okay. They're definitely 1 of the, you know, 4 places that I'm pulling inspiration from. Okay.

But the series is even better, and we're not talking about the series, but it is. Just Matt Berry is he's the god. And and why am I blanking on her name? Yeah. I know.

Oh, she's phenomenal in the TV series. So much. She's she's 1 of the funniest people on the inside. She's amazing. I'm forgetting your name as well.

I'm gonna hold She doesn't break character. Like Matt Berry, You can see him hamming it up. He's loving doing that, but she's not breaking. Like, he's always on the verge of breaking in my opinion, Maddox. But because he's just it's coming there's so much coming out of him.

He's erupting, And he's always kind of just trying to hold it in, like I And she's just Is it Natasha Yes. Demetro? Demetro? Demetro? Also Guillermo delle Cruz is amazing.

Yeah. And Kayvan Novak is amazing. Everybody. Anyway, we'll talk about the But but Jameen, obviously, I mean, he's executive producer or whatever of of the series like he Yeah. But the proof of concept was this OG film.

Oh, 100%. Yeah. Paul. I was living in Portland in a really cool house with a bunch of roommates on Broadway Drive. Alright.

Cool guy. And somebody illegally downloaded this because this was the most pirated movie. That's so sad to me. That's so sad to me. Yeah.

Because, like, you should you can pirate big blockbusters. Oh, yeah. But and and I don't know what the accessibility level of this was. Yeah. I mean But it was two or three minutes into the movie, and I was like, what's this?

And then I go, it's this vampire documentary comedy thing, and it grabbed me, like, pretty much immediately. Rented it for my monies later on on whatever was red box or from somewhere I got a disc. Really enjoyed it and it's 4 out of 5 Germaine faced cats. I'm not changing it. Cats with Germaine faces.

I knew that was gonna be his race. No. It's Brit. No. Oh, it's Brit?

No. It's Brett. Brit? Brit? Brit?

Brit? Brit? Brit? Brit? Yeah.

Brit. Had a great time with it. Super funny. I've always been a big, like, Christopher Guest fan. I just like the mockumentary format Yeah.

In terms of filmmaking, it just deflates the sales of whatever subject they're talking about, which I enjoy Yeah. Quite a bit. And rewatching this movie, I'm with y'all. I love cheesecake. I love cheesecake, But isn't cheesecake always better with a little berry on it?

And that's kinda where I am. Berry. Correct. That's kinda where I am with this, where the show is so good. And man, I'm just such a big fan of everybody, but especially Matt Berry in particular that I almost went to a 3.5.

I'm like on the border of a 3.5 and then Soft 4. As we're going yeah. As we're going through the credits. I think the Some of those things that happened during the credits actually, like, during the credits, like, bumped me back up. I think I think the, budget.

And the budget thing is a big point for me too. Because I I try to write the sheet after. Yeah. And, there were some things as I was going through some facts about this movie that were like, oh, shit. I'm impressed.

Think about it. They they have the fight scene where they're climbing the walls of the hallway. And they're obviously in real life turning that Yeah. Turning that into that. It's like Nightmare on Elm Street.

Yeah. That's that's not cheap. Seamless. It's seamless. Yeah.

And they're they're on this they're flying, they're on the ceiling. Yeah. A couple times you could tell they're on, you know, strings because, you know, that's camp. But them up up in the corner of the ceiling, like, that's so cool. Oh my god.

That whole sequence with the cops. I'm gonna give it 4. I'm gonna give it 4. We're in the four four. We're in the 4.

We're in the trifecta y'all. Before we start the movie, I just wanna real quick touch on this, why I think for me the series is stronger and get and is gets stronger. And for me, it's the anchor of Guillermo. I think that's the Oh, sure. The familiar yeah.

That's what the story is the show is about is Guillermo. Because their assistant and the familiar in the OG movie, she's a b character. Yeah. Where Guillermo is an a character. Yeah.

Right. I agree. They they really saw something there I think and pulled because that's the conflict of the whole show here. Yeah. Yeah.

I also wanna give a shout to I'm forgetting the name of the actor. He plays Nate on the office, and he plays the emotional vampire, Robin someone Robinson. Yeah. Colin Robinson. Colin Robinson.

Yeah. Thank you. Adding the emotional vampire and speaking essentially to the culture Energy vampire. Now. Yeah.

The energy vampire. But speaking to today's culture, adding that character is so fucking key. It's so clutch. Or it's like, oh, by the way, there are different types. We all know this person.

Yeah. Exactly. It makes it makes it more relatable. Rob's having a great time apparently. And also, like, when they go He's stolen his soul.

When they go so meta with like the vampire like council and like Wesley Snipes and like It's so good. Yeah. It's, you know, like all these references. Danley for foot cycle. It just it it really understands exactly what it's doing and it just keeps fucking hitting home runs every season.

It's 06:20 in the PM. It's time. I think we're gonna talk about this movie. Let's God damn movie. Sike the movie.

Sike the movie. Sike the movie. And now, our feature presentation. I, I'll I'll tell you this for free. I love that they wake that he wakes up at 06:20, and he's like, oh, it's always like a fun gamble.

He gets a little ways. Yeah. Yeah. The body move, like And the look Taika is such so good at, like, giving this little smirk where you're like like he he is, like, kinda nervous to be on camera. And it's so, like And he's a little stinker.

Yeah. Yeah. But what makes that amazing also is they reprise that joke in the series. Mhmm. It starts with Guillermo having to help him up.

Oh, yeah. Because he couldn't get all the way. Yeah. I I love that too. Yeah.

And like we just start and we meet this roommates, vampire roommates. And Yeah. Are you going to sweep up your spinal columns? Like, I like that Taika Waititi is like what do they call him? The, Vegan?

No. What is what do they call Viago? Like, they refer to him as like a prissy boy or something. Oh, yeah. A dandy.

A dandy. And he's like, are you gonna sweep up your spinal columns? And so, like, he's just like Then we have Viago and we have Deacon who is like the young bad he wants to be like a bad boy. He's a badass. Because he's only been a he's only been there for a hundred something years.

A hundred and eighty three years. Eighty three. And then Vy And he's sad. Vlad? Vlad.

Vladislav. And he's, like a sex team. The the the 8000 year old. The Nosferatu. Yeah.

Nosferatu in the The teeth, the eyes, everything. He did a great job also with introducing him when now I'm blanking his name. You just said it. It was going downstairs. Viago?

Viago? Yeah. Viago is going down to wake him up. Yeah. And, that was a jump scare.

Even though I know that's coming, I jump every single time he wakes up. Yeah. I like the the thing that the actor does with his eyes. Yes. I don't know.

There's like a motion that just feels slightly other. Yeah. That is that is really effective. And shouting out Doug Jones in the series as playing the old vampire. The ancient, the boss.

The boss man. He had to lose weight for that role, you know. Really? Okay. Because he's all he's all work caged.

Yeah. I mean, obviously, that's special effects. Oh, I was gonna say, like, I love that they have to gather for a roommate meeting. And and Vladislav was interrupted Yeah. In a big orgy with his 3 wives Yeah.

Or whatever is happening. And it's on the wall. On the wall. It's so good. And out of nowhere, it's like he opens the door and it's just normal.

We have a meeting in ten minutes, thirty. And I love that the meeting is about Deacon not like, it's a it's a very we've been in those situations if we had roommates before, someone not doing their dishes. Yeah. Just don't doesn't pull their weights. And like their dishes in this is just like a bunch of glasses because all they do is drink blood.

Just covered in blood. Everything covered in blood. I live alone and I have flat meetings with myself all the time. In the mirror. Listen to me.

Listen. Wash your mouth. What is it better than this? No. I'm not looking.

And they kind of tell us, like, they're being there's a documentary crew that's following them around, and they've given them permission. Okay. And they're protected. Only 1 time I basically had an issue with that concept Yeah. Is no.

I get it that they made an agreement with them that they wouldn't save the people they were killing and whatever. That's understandable. But when they went to the ball and they're humans going around and and Stuart's the first human they noticed. They didn't notice the other humans that had cameras. Sure.

And they weren't trying to eat them. Yeah. They were they wanted Stuart. The only thing I'm gonna say is at the very beginning of the movie, it says that those document that documentary crew has been given or there's been a a spell of protection has been placed on them. I what the rules are of that, I have no idea.

But 1 of them got eaten by a werewolf. Right. So we already know that the spell is not Not super effective. I do not always. Not perfectly.

What I do like though about this is that the the world is loose enough. Yeah. Like it's using it's using things that we relate to vampires, werewolves. Stakes, sun, silver. Yeah.

But not and kinda like taking pieces from all of those lores and all the different versions of those lores and kinda like being like, yeah, they all kinda whatever. Yeah. I kinda like that it's a little ambiguous. Creatures of the night in their way. I like when they're explaining what they do, like, when, Vladislav, like, just shoots, like, with the arrow.

And they're just, like, they their fuck around is just generally, like, I don't know. Because, like, apparently, they don't have a TV. They don't seem to have a radio. Yeah. So they just Well, they they do have snow on a TV.

Oh, that's right. They just watch snow on the t you're so right. Yeah. That it's a it's a pretty, like, bland and they talk about going out. They like to go out at night and meet.

And the most happening bar, they said this is the hottest place and there's 4 people in there. Yeah. It's a And why? Well, because they ate them all. Victims.

Right? There's 60 vampires in the area. And by the way, did anyone watch this with captions or headphones? Nope. The song that's playing is Another Boring Night in Adelaide or something.

It's the name of the song, and the lyrics are just, like, so depressing and hilarious while they're walking around the town, like, the the because they can't go into any club because they have to be invited. I love all of those conversations with the bouncer. Like, can we come in? Like, no. Like, just invite us in.

Yeah. No. Can't come in. And then we encounter the little girl vampires. You're going to you're gonna get a pedophile tonight.

That is 1 of my favorite parts. We're gonna we're gonna get a pedophile. Just like a casual thing. Which is kinda cool. Like killing petty.

Yeah. You know? What what are you guys doing? Are you out killing perverts? Yeah.

We're going to kill a pedophile. Right. It's so great. It's so good. We learn a little bit about their backstories too.

Yeah. Mostly, 1 by 1. Yeah. A little bit. Taika.

What his character is You get Viago. Viago. You get Viago and Vlad. Catherine? The woman he loved.

He followed followed around the world. 96 years old now. 96 years old at this point. And then, Vladislav was like, Vladislav the poker. He was only, what, 16, 17?

He was, 800 and something. But he says he was only 16. Oh, yeah. He says he was only 16. He's gonna get a harder life.

He he pulled a Paul. Yeah. Yeah. And he's basically Vlad the impaler. Right?

It's Right. So good, dude. I love it. Vlad the poker. Yeah.

Vlad the Vlad the Are you? Vlad the poker. You guys are so obsessed with that light being on. I don't know why. They're waving wildly.

Again, like you're taking a shit alone after hours. No. No. What kind of bathroom you guys? Geez.

We have an energy efficient home. I so the credits come in poop efficient home. Maybe have a poo efficient home, sir. The credits come in a little late after we learn everybody's individual back stories like Deacon wants to be sexy and all this other bullshit. And the credits that go through, is it that entire song?

It's basically because because the TV series only plays like 1 verse. Yeah. Yeah. And this is at least 3 verses. Yeah.

It's a longer version. Yeah. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead.

I'm out of this world. It's so good. It is very good. That whole opening is great. And I'm I'm so happy they kept basically the same thing for the show.

Because it sets the tone. Yeah. It really sets the fucking tone. Yeah. It really ties the room together.

A lot of the music that they play as, score is actually that weird noisy sloppy stuff that they do with the trumpet and the Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? The the stand up bass. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's it's out of tune and sloppy and just it's gorgeous because it fits exactly what they're doing. So they'll they'll be playing that, and I think they're implying that's the music they make anyway. Oh. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. And Deacon has a familiar. Which Yeah. Did they introduce?

Jackie. Yes. And familiar for those of you who aren't familiar, have to. It's like it's the Renfield effect. Right?

They have to do everything that their, vampire master bids and then with the promise that they will be turned into a vampire. Eventually, at some point. Like Guillermo in the show. Like Yeah. Which is the best part of the entire show.

That's what the vampires have hanging over these humans is eternal the promise of eternal life. 1 of my favorite parts of the writing though of the literal screenplay is that they had Nick converter. Yeah. Because they had just banished him. So Mhmm.

What the fuck does he care? Yeah. You know what I mean? He's like, you're cool. I I will grant your wish.

Yeah. I don't I thought that was a really nice twist. I didn't I agree. The first time I saw a movie, I didn't see that coming. Yeah.

So they have, the familiar bring over some victims. Right. I also first quick A virgin, a guy, a girl, you know, why do you show me that cool? I do love the moment where, Iago is is wooing a girl and it's like a date. I would lay down with towels and He's putting down towels and newspaper.

He's like, so what do you what do you He says he would do that. He makes it very clean. But I love that he's like talking. He's like, so what do you wanna do? And she's like, I don't know.

She's like watching her say, I'm I might travel. I'll go to Europe. I wanna go back to school. Depressing him. I love it.

He's like, he's like, I'm gonna do this then. And then he hits an artery and it just like Sprays everywhere. And I love I don't know what that is squirting, but I love that Taika is like trying to like catch you. I it's just so funny to me. It's like, he was, like, some people would totally put down, like, towels and newspaper and stuff.

And then it's German all of a sudden. I know. Right? I'm terrible at this. Well, he he is frightening.

Then then he does it. Like, it's they show you. But, Iago is, I think European. Right? He's not New Zealand.

They mentioned they said, is this some weird German thing? At some point, Nick, I think, asked them that. Or I thought they were doing some weird German thing. I mean, he is I know he's native news Kiwi, but also yeah. I think he's supposed to be, like, German Austrian.

So Paul, you've been validated. I've been validated. You've been I'll take it. First time for everything. Vlad even though he's a dandy.

Right? He's a dandy. That he is. The this is 1 of my it's almost like I know it's coming. What when this ends and I'm gonna we'll leave the audience in suspense here.

But where they go over the beast. Oh, okay. What the beast did to Vladislav, like, what he was like before, how he could just hypnotize anyone, and was so powerful. How much the beast broke him. The reason yeah.

That she she broke him. The beast destroyed him. He could not come back from He's not powerful anymore. Did to him. His hypnotism scene.

Look at look at me. Look at me. He's tapping the window. The woman watching TV. Like, there's, like, a a maybe a pretty young woman.

We only see her from the back. Yeah. And Vladislav is like, I'm gonna get that. I'm gonna get that. I could get that.

And then the old guy is like looking at someone tapping the window. You wanna come in? Yeah. And he's totally hypnotized and invites Vladislav. And Vlatus, like, Germaine goes, Like, he's like, oh, I'm gonna I'll come in and kill you.

There's a weird thing about It's not that. Girl. But he's disappointed. Yeah. Vampires have always had this, like and I don't know when this started exactly, but it seems like there's always this sexual I feel side.

Yeah. I think it's like who is not sexy. Right. Exactly. No.

I mean, Dracula was kind of Remember, are you thinking Bram Stoker? Are you thinking the OG book? The OG book. He had the worst breath ever. He smelled like death.

Girls were not looking at him going, I wanna get on that. Yeah. Did you guys watch the Dracula series? The Steven Moffat No. Short series on Netflix?

No. I would I would recommend it. Okay. It's only 3 episodes. Okay.

They're like hour and a half. It's almost like mini movies. Great. But he didn't It's like a short British series. Yeah.

He did Sherlock and it has a very similar leaning contemporary Oh, yeah. Ridiculous. Version of Dracula. When I like the interstitials of whenever, like, the documentarians, you can kind of put together what the questions that they're asking the vampires. Like, so what is it what's it what is it about virgins?

Or, like what is it about what is it this or that? And when Germaine says, you know, it's like, would you have a sandwich, but you'd enjoy it more if you know nobody fucked it before you? It's that is my favorite line in Hawaii. You didn't know if that was written or improvised. I know.

It's so good. Yeah. It's when this is when around the cops show up because, right? No. Wait.

No. Okay. So first they invite you to They get Nick and Josephine in there. Like, the familiar Or he's dead. Yeah.

Yeah. The the we've had a few of the interstitials where we're like getting to know these personalities, which is so fun. But then they have yeah. They have they bring over these 2 to have dinner. Nick and Josephine.

And they give them like SpaghettiOs. My ex ex boyfriend, Spaghetti. Buschetti. Buschetti. Buschetti.

You're eating are you enjoying Buschetti. Are you enjoying your worms? And it's it's funny because Deacon's supposed to be Kiefer Sutherland from The Lost Boys. Oh, no way. Wow.

They're like, they all have comps for who they're supposed to be. Who's the d I forget the Taika one, but there it that was 1 of the facts that I did. It's gotta be it's gotta be an Anne Rice vampire. I'm almost sure of it. I mean, that's what he has.

It's like Louie or something. I can't remember. But it's it's really funny that, like, they go to the point where they're like, oh, Bischetti, and they even do, like, the maggot worm thing like they do in Lost Boys. It doesn't work on it doesn't work on chips. Later in the movie, that's so good.

Like, they have to look like the thing. It's very specific. He's just eats he's just eating the chips. So so Jackie has brought Nick and Josephine over for dinner for worms and maggots and whatever. Scared the dinner.

And Nick and Josephine are hypnotized by this, but it's so funny to me when they're hypnotized. They're like, oh, no. I'm eating worms. Like, there's they're not excited. They're not upset.

They're just they're hypnotized. Right? So it's just like, oh, no. I'm upset. You know, this is wrong.

Yeah. It's funny. You're not a you're not a virgin? Yeah. But Josephine looks like a virgin.

She smells like look at her. Break the spell though because when he when his penis was changed into a snake, into a cobra. Hey. I was making a serious comment here. It's true.

It happens in the movie. It's just fact. He he it breaks his spell and he starts I can't be here and he starts running away going, dude. Dude. And that's when they start chasing him.

Like like snake peanut like the snake weird. The chase is so good. He when you You're a snake? Your penis is a snake. When, Jermaine starts coming out of his backpack.

It's so great. It's 1 thing for Peter to be the 1 that jumps out and and gets him at the end when he thought he got out. Yeah. They immediately cut to the familiar hosing off the sidewalk. Yeah.

Oh, the big board. Like, and it's like brown. Immediately. It's all it's it's such a weak stream. So she's But it looks like forever.

What? It does. That she's rinsing. But it's good. It's just taking forever and I love that.

When they talk about Vladislaus powers fading, they're like, yeah. He used to be able to become like animals and stuff, but now like the face isn't wrong. He's just wrong. And this is where Mick's trying to escape, and he comes across the Germaine house cat. Again, like, I almost wanna piss myself laughing at that.

And he piss. It's These are my jeeps. It's almost it's it's so it's such bad effects. Like, it like Purposeful stuff. Lean into it.

It's good. It looks like someone photoshopped his face onto a cat. Like a like a 4 pixel still. Yeah. Like, it's like golden eye.

What's in the dark? I like It's in shadow. You know why you it works it works so well. And it's It's great. Why I use it as my ranking system and also knew it was gonna be Paul's ranking system.

Yeah. But it yeah. God damn it. But it's, like, it's great. They established too, like, yeah.

But all like, the faces are fucked up. Like, it's a way to to tell you, like, by the way, this effect is gonna suck. And that's a great It works. That's 1 of those jokes too that is, like, you don't know it's paid off until it's paid off. Yes.

It's what like the show does really well. It's something like Arrested Development does it really well where they say something and then it doesn't Sounds like a throwaway. Yeah. And it's a setup. And then it is a setup.

It's so good. Dude, in Arrested Development, I'm sorry. I can't help it. That's the beauty of that is it's like it's like 8 episodes later. Yeah.

Right. Like, woosh. The best of the best. The beauty of writing 8 books before you publish Yes. This 1.

Because I started setting stuff up. Just throw away lines. Because remember, it's not a a serial in the way that you would think Yeah. In a Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. But you can do that, and I've had so much fun.

They're just Easter eggs for people that have read it in order. Oh, yeah. That's great. But it's that exact thing though. Is it weird that we're like You could know about me again guys.

No. You should. No. I love that. Quit talking about this awesome movie.

At least make it about you and not about Paul. Don't make it about me. Please, Lord. Paul makes it about himself. Well, that's why he's that's why he chose the farting chair.

He doesn't need my help. He chose that. No. He can't even make me fart if he wants to. No.

He will not fart. I'm I'm giving it my all here. You can you fart you can fart when you want to. I'm like deacon dancing. Oh my god.

I'm deacon dancing right now. Oh yeah. The deacon dance? He's gassed. When he's like down and his and his legs are spread and he's just doing this, he's just like broke.

Dude, what people don't realize that when you become a vampire, you get sexy. Like, indicates himself. With 2 hands. This is I would have been so good at this part in this movie. You should have had that perfect.

So Nick comes back. And Nick and the man. Was dead, but he comes back and he is wearing, like, Deacon's jacket. He has, like, a a vampire fang, like, necklace. Well, him trying to get in the window, flying in.

Well, of course, I'm gonna fly. White Jesus at the door. I'm not gonna fly. I can fly. People might see you.

I can fly, mate. Yeah. Now they're going out and Nick is loving being a vampire. He's telling everybody. Oh, he loves it.

He's Oh, yeah. I'm a I'm a vampire. He's brought along his human friend, Stu. He knows. They're telling fucking everybody what's going on.

Then they go clubby. The confession to Stu is great later. It's so wonderful. When he's just in the club and he's like, I'm a vampire. And he's like, oh, really?

I'm a vampire hunter. Fuck off. And just like You're lying. You're lying. The guy yeah.

No. Really. I am. Yeah. I'll fucking Skype you.

Yeah. He's just he's just gonna Skype him. But he's just letting everybody know he's a vampire. Yeah. And the He's cool.

Wow. He wasn't cool before. I know. He's super cool now. Is r h y s Reese or Rice?

I In New Zealand, it's like I had I had fought Reese, but I thought Reese too. Me on that. I thought but Clearly, I look like an expert on New Zealand. This is where Reese what's his last name? From Flight of the Conchords and Yes.

Oh, and The redhead. Yeah. He's where he shows up suburb. As a as a werewolf, not a swearwolf. Alright?

A werewolf? Not a werewolf? He's a mess. I love him on Flight of the Concords. He was like, yeah.

Me and my dad remember that we had a little bike gang. Fun cycle. And we used to we used to ride around our town, and it's like, you had motorcycles. No. It's a little bike.

We just rode bikes. Do that accent somewhere. I like the lady Malone in the office. Also in a pirate radio? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And Arfug's death. Your favorite person. I have I just have to mention, have you either of you watched our flag means death?

What? Have you watched our flag means death? I watched 1 episode and enjoyed it. If you if you enjoy what we do in the shadows, you will love Our Flag Means Death. It got canceled after two seasons.

Yeah. Rice Darby. Did we say that? Thank you. Yeah.

That's a full word. I'm sorry. Yeah. Rice Darby. Whichever it is.

It's Rice. It's Rice. Reasily great at his job. Darby, I believe. Reasonably great at his job.

That's what he is. I said you were getting a show in a Central Park. You said Central Park in New York. No. You said a Central Park in Newark.

Newark. Newark. Brit. Brit? Brit?

No. Brit. No. Brit. No.

Brit. Brit. Brit? Yeah. That's what I said.

Brit. You can't buy fruit ear anymore. We're gonna go off on, like, all these TV shows that these cats have done. We're not gonna be able to help ourselves. I brought you this sandwich.

Comes out to Stu as the vampire and Stu is just, like, very cool with it. And these vampires can't see their reflections, but apparently, they can take selfies? Right. But they didn't know they could until they were taught that. Until Stu and Nick brought it.

Right. Right. So when you're watching the intro and you see all the photos, you're like I was thinking that. I'm like, wait a minute. They can't see the reflections.

So how are they gonna How does their photo work at all? But then they do get to that point in the movie where they're like, he he's shown them how to take photos. Like, oh, wow. They don't have to draw themselves anymore. Photos are based on your eye reflection.

I don't know. Who fucking knows? The the thing is, like, refraction, refraction, what refraction, etcetera. It's like, it doesn't make logical sense, but Rob, you make a good point where it's like, no. It makes sense in the context of the rules of the movie.

Yeah. Right. Like, that's all that really matters. The but the Photo stones. The difference.

The conflict that really ensues us is that out there. In the middle of the night, there is a fire and what's his name? Peter downstairs is just a flames and burns it. And they discovered that that vampire hunter was a real vampire hunter. Yeah.

He was not kidding. And Nick fucked up. Came to kill him. Yeah. Nick fucked up and let this vampire hunter in and killed I played her neck tattoos.

Oh my god. Yeah. But that's when the cops show up, which is a really funny little bit. Oh my goodness, man. Trying to keep him what he says, like, I'm not a very I'm not very good at hallucinating.

This could run. Is this after the bat fight? Because the bat fight That's when they're yeah. They they bat fight the in the night the night before when they're at the bar. The bat fight really got me when Nick and Deacon become bats and fight each other.

And they're But I love that the 1 of them yells bat fight. It's literally a bat fight. It's like Kramer like Kramer can't fight. Yeah. It's and he gets, like, thrown into a garage and it looks like it's actually painful and Yeah.

But when the cops show up and they're, like, hallucinating, he's like and every time they go, oh, what's that right over there? And they're like, what? He's like that. You see, you don't have any you don't have any smoke detectors. No smoke detectors.

No smoke detectors. He's like right at 1 of the vampires, like, elevate. Like, it's literally like Vladislav and who met, like, Deacon or somebody's like on the ceiling. Yeah. And he said, near smoke detector.

What's that? That's what they're mainly concerned about. What's this down here? What's that? There's not a lid on that.

That looks flammable. Is this after Viago Right next to right next to the dead theater. Yeah. It's a charge. Is this after Viago jerks off in the coffin?

No. That's at the end. That's at the that's towards the end. Very very end. Is it really?

Yeah. He has the photo on the wall. He post the photo on his Oh. At the very end of the movie. Wow.

We have different interpretations of the end, y'all. It's towards the end. Yeah. Let's keep moving. We're gonna keep moving.

We know we Peter Burns, the vampire hunter, and now, like, the big fight happens. And then the hypno cops. Yeah. And I love that they're like, and this room doesn't have any smoke detectors any at all either. Their main concern.

And then he but he just goes, the smoke detectors in the room is like, actually, there are smoke detectors. Let's go. Like, they just force power them. When the vampire hunter is like under the block, because these cops have been hypnotized, and he has, like, no head. As soon as it's, like, turned around and they're like He turned his head off.

Oh, Fringe is pissed out from drinking. You didn't even And they're like, oh. Not even a blanket? You gotta take care of your friend. Yeah.

Don't let me Be a good friend. It's cold now. I'm having a good time. I give him a pillow. He's not having a good time.

Your friend's not having a good time. Like, that's the thing. Look at him. He's so asleep on the stone floor there. He's gonna get a cold.

And this is like this is to me what the like, I know the movie is more of a slice of life, but I feel like the Nick conflict of being a new vampire in this world of vampires have been around for a while. That's like the that's the big driver. It's like the generational gap thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Dressing like Deacon. But he's just like running around, like literally telling everybody. He goes up to somebody in a liquor store and he's like, I'm a vampire. Can you transform? And then the cashier, like, makes like a joke.

And then He goes, can you prove it? Yeah. Nick actually does it. That's funny. That's funny.

Don't don't say you can do that when you can't do that. Like, you bet what he's mad about? Really quickly. That's great. That was $47,000 over that Probably.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Just that 1 tiny joke. I wonder It's a good bit. This is part of the thing for me as as y'all are talking about, like, writing and through lines and character development and stuff.

Is the masquerade, like, which is the penultimate thing in this movie, is that mentioned before they end up like, oh, we got an invitation. They should they should have mentioned Yeah. Early saying, wouldn't that be cool to go? Yeah. But it is on June 6.

06/00 06/00 06/00 06/00 06/00. And No. The beast story is that that's going on is that she want his the familiar wants to be a vampire. And like you had mentioned earlier, Nick turns her, which is a big no no as we learn in the series. Oh, yeah.

Peter can do it. That's about it. Yeah. Everybody else, they frown upon it. Not really okay.

So at this masquerade, Vladislav is under the impression that he is going to be the guest of honor. Yeah. They talked about the guest of honor. He's hoping that this masquerade ball Which is gonna be him, like And it's not. Werewolves and witches and a bunch of people.

Right? Zombies. What do you call that? Unholy ball or something like that? Yeah.

Zombie. The unholy masquerade ball. Unholy masquerade ball. Zombies. That's right.

This is where again, though, like okay. Masquerade ball kinda comes out of nowhere, but it's a nice excuse for it's like we got this whole big backstory about the beast. Mhmm. And about how Vladislav can't overcome the beast. Mhmm.

And again, like, this thing that the movie does so well where it's like vampires have the same problems as you, and the beast is just his ex girlfriend Pauline. Yeah. That's like it's it's no big crazy monstrous thing that is, like, more specific or or more powerful than Just anybody else's. Just his ex. Yeah.

It's just like it's it's his ex girlfriend. Can't deal with it. Yeah. And by the way, when you were talking about the date of the ball being 06/66, to make it about me again, please, in July 0, I'll be putting out book 6, but there's a band that pops up, not in every book, but most books, called the Color Braille. I mean, it's a cool name for a band Yeah.

Or whatever. But there's a specific character that she had danced in 1 of the videos for a song called Sick Sick Sex. Sick Sick Sex. Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick. The big through line, the anchor, it's like the the guy who was pulling it all together that we never really realized except for the fact that everyone's obsessed with him, is Stu.

Stu. And Stu shows up at the masquerade ball. And the best part not the best part of the movie, but the best part of the masquerade ball is the reason why everyone is so enamored with him, Stu's a virgin. And Stu's just like they they they talk shit about them like, fucking Nick. He's always doing this shit.

It was like, well, but Stu's alright. Right? And he's like, no, Stu's fucking great. Yes, Stu's the best. When they banished when they banished Nick, they said, well, yeah.

But you can come visit. They love Stu. So good. And he helps them set up their TV, and he's night he's like their IT guy. Yeah.

And the the the establishment of that the werewolves are, like, their arch enemies of vampires. And vampires into werewolves do not ever Well, they stink. Werewolves stink. I I love that, like, dog things that are part of the werewolves, like, that they're just basically We stink each other's crotches, not other people's crotches. Just disagree team.

Just disagree team. Don't be a dick. The werewolf problems kinda come up again, and this is where we lose the beloved stew. Yeah. He's taken from us by the archenemy werewolves.

And the cops take watched it. Yeah. The the ambulance takes him away. It it's over. Until?

It's not? Yeah. Oh, some more writing shows up. A twist. A little twist at this end there.

I I mean, it's like you you kind of expect it to happen, but there are several parts of this movie that I wonder. It's like, is this I love when the cops go up to just like this border collie or whatever, like a basic, like someone's dog and they're like, you know what you did? You you killed it, mate. Like, I wanna and the dog's just like, I wanna play fetch or whatever. Way to see.

Has the series done werewolves? The TV series? Have they introduced 1? Yeah. A little bit.

Yeah. A little bit. They they've, they're digging up the front yard of the house. Right. Right.

Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I love the neighbor in the series and the Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. When they go to the superb hour. Jets fans. Yeah.

Man, there's just something about, like, all the every tweak in the series is Better. Better. The exact tweak that needed to happen. Something about putting it in Jersey. I mean, it's more Well, Staten Island.

Staten Island. Right? Yeah. But it's I mean, it is Same thing. But it like It's got more water around it.

It just like, it grounds it in a place that we all recognize and like, I love that there's this different factions of werewolves all around or sorry, vampires, how dare they tell her. But yeah. I just love the series. I love the movie, and I think we're getting towards the end of the movie. We are.

I mean, Stu comes back. Yeah. He's not dead. Yeah. And she's 96.

Yeah. He's just like, I'm robbing the cradle. I love it. Whatever. I love the Skype with his old, familiar.

Oh, yeah. It's so good. He's like Put the wrong postage on. Are you still gonna I'm my life has been really hard. I'm not gonna do anything with my life.

I've you promised you promised master that you would turn me into a vampire. He's like, I have no I'm just like go sin. But no, you are right because he is jerking off to her photo but then he does end up with her in the end. He ends up with her in the end. So he's fantasizing about her through the movie and so it's just like nice that the payoff is, like, they end up together.

Yeah. And it's it's a funny thing to me that he's just like, people say I'm robbing the cradle. And she's like clearly, like, a very old woman. He's 3 times older than me. I know.

But he's he's a very, very old man. Stu makes it. Everybody kind of, like, becomes friends. There's a big laugh with the werewolves. Because of Stuart.

And because Stu's the fucking best, man. Yeah. But again, like, to your point, it's through Nick. Yeah. Nick is the 1 that brought this entire movie together.

Yeah. Yeah. I think if you don't have that character, you don't really have much of a movie, which is not a short. He's like almost the total heel too. Like, it's interesting.

Yeah. I mean, again, I think as a documentary Simpson. Yeah. He accidentally fixes stuff. Yeah.

He's Jar Jar Binks. But it You mean the secret master Sith? It's an interesting Sith. Don't theory. Go into theories.

Yeah. Note from the editor. This isn't theory. This is fact. But the mockumentary style kind of allows you to have a more sort of lazy, for lack of a better term, lazy storytelling.

But it's not it's not necessarily you know what I mean? It's just it's just not streamlined. It doesn't need to be tight. It doesn't need to be. Yeah.

Yeah. But the show, I think, because it knows it's a show, does keep every episode pretty tight. Right. Well, like They have longer character arcs. Yeah.

You know, you only have an hour and a half that's 3 or 4 episodes. Yeah. Well yeah. That's right. Yeah.

We kind of machine gun through this. Yeah. When we actually started talking about the actual movie, just because mostly it's like it's joke beats. Mhmm. The the only 1 I miss is like that I didn't specifically talk about is where Nick eats the fry.

And like, oh, don't do that. And then he's just like violently blood vomiting Projectile. Like a fountain. Yeah. Like To be fair though.

That's the only thing. Just today when I rewatched it, I was Projectile vomit. No. No. Oh, good.

But but the projectile vomit but I was kind of hoping now suddenly that it would jet him backwards the way the TV series does. Like, yeah. Like, it'll pull you back. Now I expected him to jet back, and he didn't. I'm like, oh, that's something else the series improved on.

Wow. The series is just an evolution of the concept in a way that because remember in the series, he actually gets off the ground. It makes him Yeah. Fly. Yeah.

Almost like an errant fire, unattended fire hose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well I hate when that happens.

Me too. It's the worst. We're, I know I know we got to the end, but you are the guest. Would you like to choose if anyone has changed their ranking, you get to choose what order we're gonna Yeah. We we mentioned it a little bit earlier.

I initially gave it a 4.5, and I stand by that. That's how I felt at the time. Yeah. Because it just the concept, the vibe, the idea of comedy and horror is so brilliant to me because it's different than the other Freddy and Jason kind of stuff where it's like that comedy is different. This is like to me, it's like, what if really, really smart people were writing about what they think people who aren't getting it Mhmm.

Would think. You know? So that so that's why I've always loved shows like the Trailer Park Boys. And and Walking it up. Right.

But I've never been in the Big Bang Theory or Reno nine one one because it feels like, oh, this is what smart people think is funny. Mhmm. And it's like, no. 1 rest of development's a good example. Really, really intelligent people writing what they think stupid people would do.

You know what I mean? And it's, to me, genius. It's so freaking good. And that's what this feels like to me. Yeah.

So even after But I so that's why it's a four one five. But I did lower it to a 4 because over time, the show has shown me how much they could have done in this movie. And then secondly, as a movie, it's not a great movie. So, like, you'd said this earlier, like, just jokes on beats and whatever. And but they nailed it.

This is as as good as you can do jokes on beats. So that it's not a diss. It just isn't a film. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah.

I'm not gonna I shouldn't be giving something that's not a film four one five. It's a really good movie. Sure. So you're at a 4 even post discussion though. So I went four one five to 4.

And you're still at 4 post discussion? Yeah. I feel like virtually everything you guys were saying we're just validating what where I was at. So you guys are the film experts. So that makes me feel better.

I've never That's just for myself as that. I didn't ask you to refer to yourself. Ben's a real file. Thank you, senator. I We're gonna go take some pedos.

Should it be me? Should it be Ben? Go for it. We're going that way. Alright.

I I'm with Rob on this fully. I'm almost gonna anticipate, like, Ben anticipated my scoring system that we're gonna end up in a trifecta here. It's like, I had a lot of fun talking about this and the jokes and some of the visuals and stuff from the movie. Boy, if the series were never made, you I don't know if you could convince me that it'd be as good as it is. Yeah.

But it it is. Yeah. And so it's still for Jemaine faced cats. Great. I I also like the idea that you went from 3.5 to 4 because the series I I went from 4.5 to 4 Yeah.

Of a series. Yeah. There's interesting. I think that the series kind of like, it just it it influences you. You can't help it.

And what I think It's a way not to. I no surprise I'm gonna stick up my 4, you know, my cats. Stick a 4 in it. But I think that like Poke it. It it it does in a way both elevate and, like, it's weird.

The show does a good job of making this the movie in a way make I don't wanna say better, but you understand like you're like, oh, this is like this is like the thing that they were striving for but couldn't get to at that point because they only were making this movie for a million dollars. Yeah. And it was genius because they're using 100% new characters. Right. Right.

They're not just taking these people and saying, okay. We've developed a foundation. We're gonna build from it. They they started clean with the idea foundation. Again, this is why this movie isn't influenced my series because I feel like every book is like that.

Every time I put a book out, I'm using the same universe, but I'm using new protagonists, new POVs. Is it like an anthology sir book series? It's more anthological than it is, you know, linear. But it's like that. That that that inspired me.

I think that's cool. 4444. There you go. Wendy's four four four. Enjoy.

I just this is a perfect example of 1 of those things where just because it was first doesn't necessarily mean it was Correct. Best. Yeah. And there are those things where it's like, why are you remaking RoboCop and White Men Can't Jump? Why aren't you remaking maniac cop and alligator?

Yeah. Paul Blart. Remake the things that didn't Paul Blart. Hit yeah. Remake the things that didn't hit exactly perfectly, but might have a cool idea.

And that's exactly what this is. This is, like, on on 1 of the if not the highest, 1 of the highest echelons. Ons. Rob. Thank you so much.

We're in your debt. Oh, my gosh. Well done. Is that what a man dude? That is my name.

Now you have to go to the next podcast. Uh-uh. The next podcast is a low is a level lower. So You'll get to meet the barbarian. Good luck.

Are there treats? Maybe. It's in the anal of the annals. And the barbarian is there. She's gonna ask you to cut that too.

No. I'm The only thing that's down there are maggots and worms. I did work for with Roadrunner Records and Slipknot was 1 of our bands they called their fans maggots. Man, there's nothing like listening to this gentleman, like, spitting you on, dude. If anybody can find you, I know you're off the grid, but if they wanna, like, find you, is it just your book series, find you there?

Or can I On on Facebook, it's the Omnice Series? Obviously, you can Google the omniseries or consume your spiritual emporium or mostly homosid cat. I I have a thing. I'm I'm I'm gonna annoyingly tell you all 5 books that are out because I just have this thing in my brain where I want if somebody Googles it, I want to be the only thing that shows up. Do do you have to do number 1 on the page.

So consume your spiritual emporium, you know there's not another 1 of those. Right. Mostly who, mostly cat, there's not another 1. I'm not gonna keep saying that. The amnest and the cosmic egg, the patina of Dorothy Grant, which is basically picture Doreen Gray, but instead of it being a 19 year old dandy in the Victorian era, it's now an 18 year old female with social media.

So her social media takes on all her sins. Okay. I like that. And then book 5 is Whitehead White's liquid nap where the god asleep wants to kill somebody who works at coffee roaster in Van Nuys. And I think that's funny.

Can I ask you The new book that comes out in July 0 is called The Soul Phone Collector, which sounds like a pun, but it's actually not? It's very literal, The Soul Phone Collector. And it takes place at a party that I bartended two years in a row and then was a guest two more years in a row. And after twenty five years, that was the last year and they've never thrown the party again. Mhmm.

But so a third of my book takes place at this party and people are disappearing in their haunted maze. And I feel like I have a pretty interesting reason why. Cool. That's amazing. So it's it's horror comedy.

Everything I do is horror comedy. The best of things. And just like this movie that you brought us. So thank you again. Our bookend themes are Jamie Henwood.

Our what are we watching theme is Matthew Foskett. Our interstitials are Ben McFadden. That's me. And our fun fact theme is Chris Olds, and I put those shitty Garage Band music themes over it. So me too.

Sure. You can follow me on Letterboxd or Instagram at Run BMC. I'm at paul x badly. Thanks so so much for tuning in to our what we do in the shadows episode. And please, for the love of God, if you have a chance, if you learn anything from this, watch the TV show.

You'll really like it. Thank you, Rob. Thank you. Movie 2.