Last Action Hero / The Shrew (Guest: Dustin De Leon)

The day has come! We welcome “The Partyman,” himself, the guest host with the most, @dustindeleonstagram (aka @languid.machinations) to Ben’s Blockbuster Bonanza Summer with his choice, Dir. John McTiernan’s (4th time on the pod!) ‘Last Action Hero’ (1993) Starring: Gov. (Fmr.) Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’ Brien, and Chucky Tango (Charles Dance). Cameos, references, “META,” metaL, advertisements, release dates, underestimating Ben’s friend Steve, and gaining true grand daddy status. This one has it all, the kitchen sink, extra frosting, AND THEN SOME as this secret switcheroo bday episode was over a year in the making. Recline your theater or drivers seat, and let us entertain you for almost 3 hours of “mmmhmm mhhmm yeah yeah yeah”

**All episodes contain explicit language**
Artwork - Ben McFadden
Review Review Intro/Outro Theme - Jamie Henwood
"What Are We Watching" & "Whatcha been up to?" Themes - Matthew Fosket
"Fun Facts" Theme - Chris Olds/Paul Root
Lead-Ins Edited/Conceptualized by - Ben McFadden
Produced by - Ben McFadden & Paul Root
Concept - Paul Root

Transcript

Dale. A 100 pornos? A 100 pornos. Who the fuck is this? There was no 5 there was no fact checking.

We were about 2 age we're 2 2 years away from the Internet. I didn't know what pornos. Like, right? But I was like, I know Stamos knows the owner. Alright.

Sure. He came in with a stack of pornos, and then he got a guitar. I'm like, Wade, come on, buddy. Hello, everyone, and welcome. My name is Paul.

I'm a cohost here, and I'm Ben, and I am the other cohost. And you are listening to a movie review podcast. It's called the Review Review. We have a few rules on this podcast. It sometimes bend or break, but this is a standard episode.

No. No. Yeah. Yeah. Other than the fact that it had to be released in the summer.

Isn't that right, Ben? It's, you know, it's the summer blockbuster bonanza. You're damn right. And who does that belong to? Who presented it to us?

It's mine. It's it's Ben's blockbuster bonanza. Oh, and did you hear that? Like, like, boisterous, like, joyful laugh? I heard it.

I did. We do have a guest with us beautiful. Yeah. Who chose to abide by the rules, and we appreciate it. Guest comes to us, brings a movie that's 7 years old or older, a movie that they've seen before that they have strong feelings about and are willing to talk about it ad nauseam.

Can't normally be part of a major franchise, and it has to be under 2 hours and 22 minutes. And I have the esteemed pleasure of introducing one of the absolute greats. I'm so excited. Dustin Daley on. Go on and on my gosh.

And on about your many talents Ah. Your many interests, your beauty, your intelligence, your passions. Beauty alone. I I can go on and on and on, man. You could.

You could. It could get pretty ridiculous. I've been waiting for this for so long. So have I. I love you.

Long time in the making. So glad to hear you. That's for that's for damn sure. Long time in the making. Yeah.

Thanks for being here. Much for having me here. This is exciting. Glad to be back in the Stude's Back in the saddle. And It's been mere hours.

So, you know You know? I don't wanna break the news. Oh, what the If you didn't see it already, it's last action hero time. That's right. That is true.

And it needed to be. It's the only way to be. Before we get to the last action hero, I'm gonna I'm gonna again throw it to the first action hero. Dustin Yes. Tell us about you.

What do you do? Where can people follow you? Oh, yes. You you are such a multifaceted just a wonderful fucking guy. Go on.

Bless you. Jesus Christ. I'm an okay guy. I'm a I'm a felon. I'm a felon.

I'm a Woah. Woah. Woah. Fun work release, but I'm mostly You've been cleared. You paid your societal debt.

That's right. You know? Good times and new to say. You know, I'd say first and foremost, I am a dad and husband and, currently looking for work. If you are in need of a sales director, that'd be incredible.

Yeah. I've been told to have transferable skills, so, you know, that's my but, we're moving on with just We are on LinkedIn. So Oh, thank god. I wore it, but, you know, it's And we pay Alabama minimum wage here. So, Dustin, for this 5 hours of work, you will be receiving $14.

Okay. There we go. So And not too cheap. In, the Peronia loan. So I appreciate you guys for that.

But we need $8 in taxes. Hey. There's always you boys and your taxes. I'm gonna I'm gonna actually take the rest of that. Oh, if you could, please.

Yeah. I can't let you finish that, pal. But The rest, and that's ours. The moonlight, which I guess is the source of income outside of EDD, I am a DJ. I'm a vinyl DJ under the umbrella, under the name, Lingwood Machinations, which is my DJ or smooth music handle.

And I'm very excited and very, very proud to announce on this podcast. My DJ partner, Elba Mastella, and I are launching a concert series at the Lodge Room in Highland Park. Oh, nice. It's a wonderful venue. Great venue.

Incredible. If you guys aren't familiar, it's a former Elk's Lodge. I've always wanted to go there. I've I've Illuminati vibes, man. Elk's Lodge.

Very much so. Stonecutters. That's right. It is deeply we do and Stonecutters. Do it.

I doubt it all. It's kind of my home away from home. When I DJ, I have a residency at the restaurant next door, Checker Hall, and Lodge Room. They're pretty much family, and, I am excited and proud to announce that, this series, we focus on the heroes of yacht rock. Yacht rock is, sort of my specialty.

Yacht rock, if you aren't aware, it's smooth music of the seventies eighties. These gentlemen, JD Risner, Hollywood Steve Huey, Hunter Stair, and Dave Lyons created a yacht rock series or a series called yacht rock on YouTube. That was a comedy short series. They are the ones that coined the term yacht rock, and I've been very fortunate to be their vinyl DJ. Oh, wow.

Just, you know, many how many degrees of separation you are from folks. You know, I have to hat tip to Lance Barracy, owner of 6 is the most. But yeah. That's right. Yeah.

We'll we'll go through. We'll go through. But, Lance Beraci, the owner of Permanent Records Roadhouse, put me in touch with these fellows that so kindly had me be their de facto DJ or vinyl DJ. We DJ alongside each other, and this has opened up many doors to the smooth music community. So as such, we're launching this concert series at the lodge room, beginning in November.

Well, hang tight on announcing the talent, but we're very excited. And we like to feel like that's gonna say. That's fine. That's fine. I'm not gonna say.

But it's, you know, Jazz is Dead, if you guys are familiar, is a concert group or a, concert collective that focuses on jazz musicians from the sixties seventies and bringing them back. Like so legacy artist and giving them the roses, basically. Awesome. I love that. And, we take a tip of the hat to those fellows and doing the same with smooth smooth music of the seventies eighties and featuring modern artists as well.

I wanna ask a really quick question before we move on. Is that is that okay? Is that okay? Why are you asking me? I just because I'm respecting everyone's time.

As we're doing the flip on everybody and this ends up being my birthday episode, fuckers. You say yacht rock. Yeah. That encompasses, I think a lot of people don't realize, like, a crazy wide array of artists. Yeah.

Are there 2 or 3 artists that you would maybe put in that fold that people wouldn't think of? And they can be obscure. I don't give a shit. For sure. You know, it's, steely Dan.

To me, that's always the knee jerk when you think about what the steel what the yacht lock is. It's a convoluted deep cut. You know, it's it's it's basically you talk to the creators of it. They're like, hey, we're just 4 guys that were coming up with cool criteria of what classifies. You have folks that be like it's like, oh, you know, I listen to Megadeath on my yacht because I own a yacht.

And it's like, so angry. Oh, yacht rock. Yeah. Got it. Hey.

Oh, like a yacht. Oh, now I'm there. Why are you across the yacht? You know? God.

But, we outside of Vivaldi's house on the edge of a cliff. Think of Malibu. Think of the cliffs. Yeah. You know, I'm, I'm Christopher Cross.

So, like Sure. When I heard yacht, most people are that like yacht rock. What the hell's a yacht? I just heard, like, y a t, like, oh, it's just a funny term. Yacht.

And now, like, y o t. I will I will say I went to Fable when you were and I had a great time. And Oh, thank you so much. I was, like, nonchalantly finding myself dancing. I'm not a dancer.

But it was, like, suddenly I'm, like, moving a little bit. And you can call it a bit of a rug, actually, though. Well, I don't consider myself As long as it's, like, comedic. Well, the rug really tied the room together. It does that.

Did it help with the darts, though? That's the question. Well, we got we got demolished by a burrito. By a fucking burrito. I see the last burrito.

One burrito destroyed us. What did he do? But that's okay because he's filled with beans and cheese. So True. We fall back there.

So Just to give you all a taste, when we were at the fable playing darts and yacht rock and whatever Yeah. Dustin was kind enough to play a few different songs that I'm a huge fan of as well as just from his incredible array of records and also goes to Gold Rush. Oh, Gold Line Venue oh, Titan Madden interviews. Gold Line? Like Gold Line and Rushmore.

Catch Dustin at so many venues, spinning so many things from so many genres. It's Behold in the yard line. Amazing. Fun stuff, and it's it it helps when you play what you love. You know?

It's the we all have the, the gigs where you play the things you're expected to. But Sure. You know, when you get to a point of being picky and juicy and One for them, one for you. That's right. Are you right?

One for all and one for love. Yeah. This one was for you, meaning me, meaning he, meaning Arnold Schwarzenegger. Have my medication. I like to Who's one for him?

Every job I am offered in the industry sense or whatever, I always judge it by 3 things, and I have to it has to fall into 1. Does it fulfill my wallet? Does it propel my career? Or does it fill my soul? And if it fills one of those, then I'm I'm Dude, man.

That's Yeah. Rock solid. I think apparently that batting average is good enough. That's spot on. Stevie.

One of the 3 pillars. Yeah. So so we're saying artists for yacht rock? Yeah. You said Steely Dan.

Steely Dan. For sure, Steely Dan. Some Doobie Brothers, it's always hit or miss. Michael McDonald's on something. You can count on that being yacht rock.

Okay. Jay Graden, who's a guitarist. Oh, do you hear him? Yeah. Deep It's a lot of it's funny.

It's like it's it's like, Newman from Seinfeld where it's the Can you cut that in? Goddamn it. It's like all may all certified male is something and all but not all, you know, the inverse thing. Yacht rock is more songs than artists. It's the Yeah.

Non scale where, you know, where Johnny Muth is artists. It's the Yeah. Non scale where, you know, where Johnny Mathis could have a yacht rock song. Gotcha. It's influenced by you you look at What a Fool Believes is sort of a template.

Okay. You are demystifying. God. Love that fucking song. Going.

Demystifying by, by, Justin California. It's another guy. Just just a little DIY vibe. Is he is he related to Robert California? No.

No. Randy California from Spirit. Oh. Ineffectual, ineffect, dickless whatever he says in The Office. We should move on, though.

Ben. Yes. I kinda know Robert California. What you been doing? Well, you know, usually we're talking about Paul's experiences with, back pain.

Oh, no. We talk about that a lot. Oh, no. We have. Yeah.

And I maybe, like, a little bit over a month ago, maybe, like, 2 months ago. So one of my jobs is well, I go on trips. Right? I've I've talked about it on here. I go on I I I lead outdoor education trips Oh, okay.

Which does require a lot of driving. Mhmm. And I started noticing to have this, like, pretty bad pain in, like, my lower glute. I which was even, like, inflamed from driving. I've been having a bitch of a time trying to, like, diagnose it because I would run and it inflamed.

I would like, okay, stretch, inflamed. Like, stretch my hamstrings, stretch stretch my glute, roll out, inflamed. Lift, inflamed. So I was like, fuck. I don't fucking know.

And so I finally, like, reached out to a friend who's a chiropractor, and she was like, that is like pretty classic sciatica, which is weird to me because I've had sciatica pain before, and it's usually, like, in my lower back and then sometimes Like, yeah. IT band hip. This is in the pso psoasis? Psoas? Psoas.

Psoas. Psoas. And apparently, like, if you have sciatica, it'll clench down on the nerve. Mhmm. And that's why it's, like, on this just that area.

So it has nothing to do with it's not muscular. It's nerve pain. I'm sorry, man. And then Which is not great because it's not something I can technically work on other than, like, rest and a couple of different stretches. Stretching and acupuncture for me.

Which is a real bummer for me because I get really depressed when I'm, inactus. When it takes that out of your house. Yeah. I can speak from experience. I empathize.

That's fun fun for me. But yeah. So that's how I'm doing at this moment. I'm not looking forward to my drive to Seattle to shoot my film Rough Ways Yeah. Which we'll be shooting in August.

Oh, yeah. Let's see there. Are you are you from Seattle as well? Yeah. We're both Northwest cats.

Yeah. Here you go. I just thought that the mariners are solidarity. That makes me happy. That makes me so happy.

I feel like it's Oh, there we go. I will say This is all for me, for my benefit. He does all this. My, my family and I, when when when my oldest was a baby, we went to a wedding in Seattle, and it was Kuehlhauser. Are you guys familiar?

Kuehlhauser. Wow. Sounds really familiar. I don't remember what the name of the show Oh, yeah. I don't remember when the show Discover California.

I'm not sure. It was on PBS. But basically, he was known as like like growing up in California. He would just go places to like Lancaster to the turkey farms and go, oh, wow. You have all these turkeys here and a sign from Shell?

That's amazing. Oh, do you do turkey burgers and chili verde? Oh, my God. Everybody you listen to, like, like How do you want to change my rating system to turkey burgers? Wait.

No. You should. Question about that later. But, but, you know, it's basically every like, Paul F. Tompkins has done bits about it.

But it's the I feel the same way when you it's like every meme you talk about when you go to a new city. I went to Seattle for a wedding for my friend Dylan. This is what you've been doing. That's right. This is it was, like, 9 years ago.

But, you know, how old is my son? Okay. Not yet. Doesn't matter. But going to Seattle, we met.

Don't know the Seahawks name, but the mascot Blitz. Blitz. We met him at the at the public market. He was there doing shit. The kids love him.

Oh, god. And my the people The people love Blitz. He treated my baby with so much respect and so much throw it like a football? Damn right. What's that?

Or a salmon. He's not ready for salmon. Or a salmon. He's had that's how long to do. He might not he might have.

But I was gonna say Well, you could tell he was an expert. He's he's salmon tossed a baby before. That's his first time. Not his first time. Not his first time.

Not having an NFL team that, that definitely won us over. Okay. We felt like the 12th men. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. I love that anecdote. Now you do have to tell me what you've been doing lately. More lately. Oh, lately, I will say, I mean, in this world of not being employed, world is the oyster.

But, you know, I think it's been amazing, you know, having a little bit of turning the corner of being excited to reconnect with friends, family, spend time with my children, and, quality time at that. You just, don't remember the exact quote from Good Burger from, Keenan Thompson, but the idea of, like Can I take your order? No. No. No.

No. No. That that would be, Kel. That's Kel. That's right.

Wow. Is all about, like yeah. So I've gotta get me a summer job. But it's the idea of, you know, hitting the pool, getting Chinese food, waking up, doing it all over again. Wow.

You know? Too bad. Yeah. A little bit of that, some ceviche cut in, but a lot of cool time with my children. Do you have a pool?

No. But my lovely parents and in laws do. Oh, lovely. I That helps. Fuck.

So I've been doing that, but I will say we had an amazing weekend. Went to Disney over the weekend. Nice. Oh. Spent some got some Disneyland time.

Went for the crazy hot? It was toasty enough, but we, got a hotel across the street and dipped in the pool. Disney hotel or, no. One of the one of the one of the various, Marriott wings. Yeah.

But, which was fantastic. I've got an infant and a 6 year old, so it was a lot of dipping back and forth, going to the pool Yeah. Of course. Taking some time to get I highly I always recommend the peep especially if they're even if they're from here, I'm like, if you're gonna go, go for, like, at least 2 days and get a and get a hotel room down there. Oh, yeah.

Oh, for sure. Enjoy the park way more when you can pop over to a hotel room and just relax for a second. Break it up and it's essentially, like, the pool at your hotel. Just bip over. Yeah.

It's amazing. Yeah. We participated in the, Children's Hospital of Orange County, 5 ks in the morning. So it was a long day. My wife and I were just talking about this today, where it's like, have you heard of, the phenomenon called listomania?

When people go see Taylor Swift, they forget everything that they just saw. I forgot what they call it. It's Swift ammonia or something. Wow. Look it up.

But it's it's a thing. My son Yeah. It sounds like die a diagnosis, like, a sore It's completely diagnosed with pneumonia. But but but the idea that my son, we were at Disneyland from 4:45 in the morning, took a break, came back, took a swim, came back, had a ball, and then he was like on the walk back, he's like, it's Monday. We're like, no.

No. No. No. It's Sunday. He's like, no.

No. No. I did this. I came here. I went to Disneyland.

I saw my friend. I went on the rides. The fireworks happened, and it's today is Monday where he added a day for the amount of stuff that just overwhelmed him. Oh, wow. It was wild.

It was wild. But It's gotta feel like a dad win. Oh, he was fantastic. Oh, god. Yeah.

The fact that we can cram in the date is. Oh my god. For, like, cramming in all the memories he could and just a truly, truly special truly, truly special weekend. Those Pixar core memories, you know? That's right.

Oh god. Yeah. I will say, you know, with the like, what you're watching. Like Oh. Inside.

Not yet. But I will say it later. So Okay. K. Little teaser there.

Gotta say what he's been up to, and then we'll then we'll go on. Who gives a shit? Okay. Shouts to CHOC to Children's Hospital of Orange County. Every day.

Big shouts to Tony's Darts Away in Burbank, California. Andrew's Darts Away. Andrew Phillip himself. It's fantastic. Fantastic.

Is that the sponsor? No. Was that a Miguel Ferrer? RIP. RIP.

It's fantastic. Before we got here, Dustin and I met up with, Ben Burris at Tony's Arts Away. Oh, I know him. Yep. Had a had a burr and, sat with a burrito and had a heck of a time, honestly.

It just chopping it up and how we avoided conversation about this movie even as not what I'm watching, but watching a scene of this movie together. We watched it in your bed, which is I'm I'm gonna go ahead and say top core memories. That's gonna be up there in my top 50. You went back to your place and watched That's correct. We yeah.

We met all the bad actors. Seal the deal. Thank you. Oh. I turned on Last Action Hero.

Of course, I sealed the deal. No. So initially, we were gonna be playing a record that we both love. And Which we did play some. We played some.

Yeah. No. Don't worry. I've been to Paul's house. I know how this story goes.

But I've sealed the deal. From the other here well, from the other room when you hear Megadeth angry again, I mean, you know it's you know that last action hero's happened, and you gotta kill him. It's been on on a loop. In my home. But for a bit, that's what I've been up to.

And now that we know what everybody's been up to Yeah. Me? You. Me? You.

What you been watching? Sorry. What Well, as a dad of a, 6 year old and infant, you really watch certain things. Bluey. Bluey is a standout.

Just the substance behind it, and I feel it's funny. It's, with Bluey TV show, kids' TV show Australian show, for those of them, about a family of healers. For the uninformed? About a family of healers. Oh, gotcha.

Healers. The Australian Blue Heelas, Ron. There's a lot of there's a lot of Australian, inside jokes. Oh, yeah. I like dogs.

No. It's very dogs. Will say it is very, definitely angled toward the parents, you know, when there's, my neck, my back jokes. I shit you not. Hey.

It's Paul from The Edit, and I can't help myself. Oh my god. You blewy out my neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack. I believe it. Where it's like the hang tight.

Just saw Inside Out 2. Yeah. I love that movie even as a Yeah. That that series is just so well done. Yeah.

God, man. Just, you know, where it's still need to see 2. It's so good. It is fantastic. And the fact that, you know and I swear to god, it was like I had to, like, confess to my wife.

I'm like, I'm really looking forward to this. Be like, like, great. That's great. I mean, Jess and I saw it just we don't have kids. We wouldn't say that.

Yeah. You no kids. Yeah. You know all kids. I took this.

You have 2 little kid. Dustin has 2 little kids. And Yeah. Ben and I have talked about this, not to steal your thunder here, but, like, kids should watch that movie, especially with their parents, with some sort of emotional guidance. A 100%.

But, like, those movies are, like, essential. Having a conversation about Yes. Exactly. And if you can build it in there with characters that are attractive to, you know, like, he Physically attractive, like sexy. Have you have you have you seen Porn like busty.

Porn for kids. Dudes with just donks on them. Have you seen the donks on anger? This is Lewis Black. He's got quite the shlong.

But, but I would've oh, is it a PG 13? No. It's 100% not. Like, that's know what time I watch a shlong? That's what I've been watching, and, a lot of YouTube videos to mine for DJ gigs.

That's mostly what I watch. And as far as I know, Ghostbusters Answer the Call Yeah. Daily? At on my deathbed, Ghostbusters Answer the Call will be the movie that I have seen the most in my entire life. Fucking fuck.

Charles Dance. Benedict. Chucky Tango? Chucky Tango's in there. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Chucky Tango. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He's the, he's the dean of, something at, Columbia University. Big Schlongs. Big Schlongs over there at Columbia. That's right.

But Chuck E. Ding Dong. But where I hated it, I remember when my wife and I watched it, we it was one of our first dates or something. And I was like, god. That was horrendous, but it's Paul Feig.

You know? Oh, yeah. Sure. And we're both mutually fig fiends. And, I've grown to love this and we need to stand alone.

Sometimes they answer the call. Yeah. Because Ghostbusters, what do you want, maybe? Is that what we need to do? No.

I think it's Ghostbusters Answer the Call or Who Do You Call? No. No. No. No.

It's Answer the Call. I think it's No. No. No. No.

No. No. Shut the fuck up. It's Answer the Call. We're not talking about Cody anymore.

Any pots any pots on that. What do you want? What do you want exactly? Well, Ben Yeah. What are you watching?

I went and saw in the movie theater. I saw a movie I was very excited for by the name of Long Legs. Oh, yeah. Heard about this. Cage match, bro.

Yeah. It was, Nicolas Cage, and it's a film by Michael Monroe. Yeah. Filmed by Osgood Jenkin? Cobblepot?

Osword. Osword oh, Penguin made it. Something o Osgood something. Who else was in this? Michael Crow, Nickelode, Blair Underwood.

Blair Underwood. Funny. Yeah. Just Yeah. Not a lot of people that you would recognize.

Right. Oz Perkins is the director. Ozgood Perkins. Yeah. And I was I I honestly hadn't seen, like, very limited about it.

I'd seen, like, a trailer, but it was, like, not giving up much. I just heard a lot about it. The Internet kinda went crazy for it. Without spoilers, I did not like it as much as I thought I would. Yeah.

You and I talked about this a bit in similar pocket. It's it's not bad. It's not a it's it's a it's a beautifully made movie. Yes. Like, you can tell it's professionally made and, like, cinematically, it looks beautiful.

The color color stuff looks great. The the sound is great. Editing is really it's Editing is strong. The cuts are great. And it's just watching it.

And it was one of those cases where I knew everyone was loving it, so I was watching it and trying to, like, really force myself to like it. Oh, woah. Like, I was like, trying to be, like, yeah. I'm I'm I'm I'm with Cult of personality. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. And then I walked out with guests of podcast Matt Barrow, and we were like, what was what what was that? What was that? And he was like, I don't know.

I don't know. Like, we were both kinda like, we've seen Silence of the Lambs. Silence of the Lambs is a great movie, but this is like, the every answer we had for like, every time we had a question, we'd be like, yeah. But what about this? And what about that?

And we're like, oh, because Satan. Oh, because Satan. And that's sort of just like the the the script falls apart when you start really looking at it. Again, beautifully made. I'll never watch it again.

Right. That was my takeaway from watching Yeah. Long Legs, unfortunately. And I was texting MJ Seber. Friend of the show, former and future guest.

And he was also very disappointed because he was very I think part of it is expectation. Right? Because we were both very excited for it. Micah Monroe, kinda recent generation scream queen, Nicolas Cage doing off beat indie horror. Like, you feel like you're in a pocket.

Yeah. I agree. I'm with you. So, yeah, that's me. What about you, Paul?

Well, I'm gonna say a movie that I think fits really well with this movie that I saw at the movie theater recently in a feature presentation, Maxxine, m a x x x I n e. I really enjoy this tie west trilogy of x pearl Maxxine Yeah. The genesis of it. If you have watched a lot of movies that look like you are in New York in Last Action Hero The seventies in New York. Paul Schrader's hardcore, Abel Ferrara's Fierce City, Angel, Alley Cat.

So many movies, Once Upon A Time in Hollywood at times. So many movies that have this kind of look, this dirt, and this message of when you work in sex, when you're a sex worker or whatever, and something bad is happening or the neighborhood is bad or what have you, the arm of justice or the various fingers off of the arm of justice do not give a fuck about you. I'll throw the joker in that look. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah. Taxi driver. A bunch of that shit. It's very well put. But that's a a movie that I really enjoyed really well.

It's like a 3a half or maybe a 4. And a huge part of it outside of the performances and the writing being good and so much of it being good is, like, that down and dirty kind of, like, late seventies, early eighties aesthetic. And that's the thing is I know in last action hero by 92, a lot of this stuff was being gentrified, but it wasn't fully. And the fact that they went through what they went through to create these parallel universes is nothing outside of a monumental effort executed at the highest fucking level. I have to quote John Mulaney here.

Mhmm. People thought that New York in the seventies died. It didn't. It moved to downtown Los Angeles. That is really accurate.

Oh, Samo's here with my drink. Thank you, Samo. Thanks, Samo. Bye bye, Samo. We love you.

You're a national hero, Samo. Well, now we know what we've been watching. Ben Me. Will you tell us Oh my god. Some stuff about what we watched?

Archaeology is the search for facts. See. So we all watched a little movie called Last Action Hero. It is a Sony Columbia Adventure. It is PG 13, released in 1993.

It is 2 hours and 10 minutes. And just that first part. Right. Budget is 85,000,000 adjusted. That's a 185,000,000.

That's a lot of money. Dustin, that's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money.

That's easy. Life changing. To adjust that, opening weekend, June 20, 1993. So this is a Bullish date. Blockbuster.

Bullish fucking date. 15 Bullish. Made 15,300,000 adjusted that is 33.2. Final gross North America, 50,000,000 adjusted that is a 108. Final gross will be a 137.7 and adjusted that is 298 point 5,000,000.

True or false? That's Arnold's international box office power that got it over the edge there. Right? Probably. It's gotta be.

He was not Stallone International, but he was well loved, is well yeah. Was his. Other releases this date, Once Upon a Forest. Mhmm. Polish for Once Upon a Forest.

Massive. Massive. Do you think the people in Once Upon a Forest were like, maybe we should push back? Kinda like the people's last action hero. Maybe we should wait for a bit.

Yeah. Week in top 5, Jurassic Park. What? That's right. How could This fella That did well.

Cliffhanger, what what's love got to do got to do got to do with it A movie about Tina Turner And Ike. Was a couple spots Ike's gonna roll in that movie. Okay. Was a couple spots behind the movie featuring Tina Turner, in the cast. And Big week for Tina Turner.

Made in America. Top 5 films in the year, domestic Jurassic Park, The Fugitive Get off my wife. For Jeep is seamless in Seattle and Atlantic. I will tell you guys, I mean, we were looking at 1993. It's like when I was doing some of this research.

Oh, do do it. All June 20 this is all June 1993, right. Okay. So this is when last action hero came out. This is when we went to my brother's birthday party at Cinnamopoulos where they went they went apeshit for Jurassic Park where we had the safari.

Oh my god. Yes. They gave him they decked him out. Like, movies were massive. In 93, you know, you look at Loaded Weapon 1.

Oh, sure. That to me was massive in my life where I could learn humor. I could learn parody. Yeah. Sidekicks.

I could learn that I could like things that suck. Sidekicks. We've we had that was in a poll for this program. Is. Yeah.

And then Men in Tights, which is one of my wife and my favorite movies Yeah. To share together. We are men's We are men in tights. That's what I'm saying. Tights.

Tights. Yeah. But, so I married an ex murder another one. Oh, yeah. Oh my god.

Yes. So 93 was rife. 93 93 is a solid year. And let's talk about the, other films from 93. Rookie of the year, cool running.

Oh, man. Feel the rhythm. Feel the rhyme. Groundhog Day. It's Swiss time.

Groundhog Day. Groundhog oh, sorry. This is not wrong episode. Wrong episode. Groundhog Day is in my top five of all time.

Groundhog Day is Woah. Phenomenal. Yeah. It is very good. Demolition Man, that was a sexual awakening 2 types.

Sexual awakening The 3 shells. For me. Oh, god. Yes. The 3 shells really turn you on.

Oh, yeah. No. The rat the rat burger. What do you what do the what do you what do they do? You know you know what?

The 3 seashells. Like, how could you not? What are the how do you use oh, no. Homer bound Homer bound the incredible journey, hotshots part dew, Falling Down, her son-in-law, Sister Act 2, Back in the Habit. That was included for Ben.

Thank you. And Very funny. Dave. That was included for Dustin. My number 2 of all time.

Okay. I gotta rewatch that. Kevin Cline, Sigourney Weaver. I love Kevin Cline. Yes.

Amazing. Bing Rams. Oh. Gotta rewatch it. Letterboxd Average 3.4.

Follow us on Letterboxd. I am at paulaxbadly if you like. I'm at run bmc if you if you please. I'm on there. Yes.

I don't remember what my name is, but it probably is. Languid Machinations. Yes. It probably is. Or you could follow his Instagram and then eventually find it out, which is language machinations.

Mhmm. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Sysco and Ebert, 2 thumbs down. They tell you about the Sysco and Ebert reviews, though? I feel like that was a bit maligned. My man Sysco, who I always liked better.

Oh, I always liked Ebert better. But he will say he doesn't hate it. My too long didn't read on this, Sysco didn't hate it. He says it just goes a little long. He said that once the, like, the Leo Leo Lafart part of it happens, the F.

Marie Abraham switcheroo or, reveal his betrayal. But he does like and Paul, you know, I feel strongly about this. He likes Austin O'Brien O'Brien as Danny Madigan. He said he said Austin O'Brien with a great turn. Interesting.

Yes. Ebert gives this 2a half out of 4 actually too, which is weird because it's like that seems like 2, like, soft thumbs up, like, 2 nubs up. It's like passing with a c minus, I think. Yeah. You know?

Because he because even Eberts does Good enough to be president. You're running in 2016, and you got better grades than you actually did, you fucking idiot. But it's really funny you've been thinking about it like I wish sorry. No. I wish I could delve deeper into this but Evert was impressed with the stunts.

They both agreed that they were confused about the movie within the movie. Wow. That threw them off so. Some people say it's ahead of its time, I guess. You know, you look about Inception, you look at, like, modern movies, maybe there's a like, because even Wes Craven's New Nightmare, Scream Even like even like Avengers There's there's Penny War.

I love baby driver. Yeah. And there's some stuff that are that are maybe Yeah. New kids will like it. But Well, Rotten Tomatoes, though.

Rotten Tomatoes. That's gotta be good. That's easy. 2. Mhmm.

Oh, shit. Metacritic 40 4. Okay. Major award wins and nominations. 7 Saturn Awards, including best picker?

I don't think that's a thing. Best picker, picky picky. Best picker, best picketer. The movie else has best picture, best director and best actor. Five Razzie nominations including worst picture, worst director, and worst actor for screenplay.

We hate the Razzies on this program, so I'm not gonna go into that. Paul, talk about people. This is a fantasy movie and the Saturn Awards are big in fantasy. And it was nominated for a lot of Saturn Awards. True story.

Way to go, nerds, as a nerd. Way to go, nerds. Yeah. The director of this film is oft mentioned, oft brought in director on this podcast, John McTiernan. True story.

Predator on this podcast. Die Hard With A Vengeance on this podcast. And soon to be on this podcast, rollerball. Rollerball. Mhmm.

Writers. Wait. Why did you say soon to be on this podcast? Please no. It'll happen.

Give it time. Which one? Give it time. Roller girl. Roller ball from 2002, specifically.

Riders are Zach Penn, the Avengers, the Marvel Avengers Yes. Adam Leff, biodome. Shane Black, the monster squad, and David Arnett, the adventures of Ford Fairlane. Shout out to Andy Conseco De Leon, my wife. I threatened adventures of Ford Fairlane every night.

That was included for you. For you. Thank you. Hi, babe. Director of photography, Dean Semler, Super Mario Brothers appeared on this podcast.

Waterworld appeared on this podcast. True. Dead Calm starring Billy Zane, which appears as a cover in this movie in a blockbuster video. Billy. Hi.

So Billy Zane. Road warrior. I buster video. Billy. Hi.

And the road warrior. Hi. Billy is technically in this movie. Billy, baby. We got Billy back.

The music in this film, Michael Kamin, oft appearing on this podcast. RIP, sir. The Iron Giant, Die Hard, and Oh, I'm not looking. Roadhouse. Oh, Roadhouse.

Producers of this film are a lot of fucking people. A huge amount of people. We are going to give the main credit to where the buck stopped. Because I'm a stud. I'm ballsy.

And so this was Arnold Schwarzenegger. He had control of toys. He had control of marketing tie ins. He had control of the soundtrack. He had control of everything.

I have a I have a question about that. Did he have any hand in the rocket ship? Ship? I'm also He had to have and the 4 story inflatable and all the crazy marketing shit, he must have. Right?

God. The marketing on this movie, I'm sure we're gonna go over a good amount of that. Jesus. He hasn't control of toys, so he could have just grabbed turbo man. He didn't.

This is Jamie. This is turbo man. No. He didn't want them to have certain, like, guns or bombs or certain things. Like, he was very adamant about this shit.

Average suburban father aren't its worst kid. He also yeah. Haven't you seen Fuba? He also produced The 6th Day. Oh, yeah.

It's a little movie about clones. Wouldn't you know it, this movie stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as Jack Slater. Arnold Slater. And the Terminator. Terminator 2 Judgement Day, many of Terminators, many of Expendables, and Total Recall from 1990.

My god. Get your ass to the other screen here writing Paul Verhoeffer. Get your ass to Mars. And I'm Paul. The how do I I I don't know how to put this.

What's this? The fucking wise beyond his years, the fantastic, the completely vulnerable, the completely open, the the perfect avatar, Austin O'Brien as Danny, my girl 2, the lawnmower man, and prehysteria exclamation point. I feel strongly about this because also Starbucks barista partner. No shit. It lived in lore.

Shout out to my brother, Tyler De Leon, who witnessed I I believe that they worked in the same district somewhere in North OC. That it was like, oh, Austin O'Brien. Oh, from My Girl 2. I think he went to Chapman University. Oh, shit.

Me if I'm wrong. But, but it was a big, like, oh, the guy from My My Girl 2 works at Starbucks. And my brother's like, bullshit. Danny Madigan works there. And he's like, Danny Madigan works there in Disney.

That's awesome. And I believe that there was some sort of paths crossed and shifts covered, but when he was in college. So yeah. I love that. Yeah.

Love him. F Murray Abraham as practice. John, practice. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice.

Mighty Aphrodite, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Amadeus. Killed Amadeus. Amadeus. Maybe not only the not my favorite movie, but probably the best movie partially because it is the most movie. There is no movie that's more movie.

You're talking about playing Amadeus. Musical. Right? I'm talking about the Milos Forman Best Picture winning. Was wrong.

It was Earth All Along. It was Earth Mozoud. All along. I love you, Dan. It was Earth that man, that is so good.

Charles Dance, as he is preferred to be called, Chuckie Tango as Benedict, the golden child, criminally underrated Alien 3. And Dean of Students or Dean of something at Columbia University at Ghostbusters. I think most famously Tywin Lannister. And Gosford Park and he was on a TV show that was on HBO. Arliss?

Been at HBO since they canceled Arliss. He was wait. Wait. He was in Arliss? No.

I don't think so. No. Like, famously Game of Thrones. He was in Game of Thrones for years. Thing.

And I distinctly remember there was another Starbucks story that this one gentleman came in, and he was fair skinned and, you know, British and redheaded. And I distinctly remember, you know, in my brazen, dumbass early twenties, I even asked him. I was like, are you did you play Benedict in in Last Action Hero? And he kind of looked at me and kind of winked and walked away, and it was definitely not him. Did I ever tell you my, Jay Leno story?

I don't know. I thought you saw Benedict at my store in Brea. It was definitely not him. Did he have a glass eye? Have a nice day.

With with, like, a Starbucks logo in it, the mermaid. Everything was all apropos, but Tip your barista. He winked at you. Last action hero. Frank McCray, RIP, as Decker.

Is that a shout out to Fred Decker, the director of the Monster Squad, good friend of Shane Black? I am I wonder. That's a quick question. Quick question. When did the angry black police captain trope begin?

I have an answer for that. Beverly Hills Cop? No. No. No.

I have an actual answer for that. I believe it was with Miff Cray. Was it loaded weapon 1 earlier in that year with that same exact But would Beverly Hills Cop predate that? Oh, yeah. That's Oh, yeah.

It would. Yeah. Beverly Hills Cop was 84, 83. Christmas 83 or 84? I'm just wondering about the I love that he he was saying speaking of the trope, though.

I was falsely saying that it actually started in 93 in January. Oh, okay. And McCrae was the only one. But I love that he has, like, the trope that you were saying, Ben, and then Dustin of what you're saying where it's like, this isn't the first time this guy's played this character. If they weren't so close together, the casting is almost a little more beautiful Sure.

Because of how incredibly subversive and tongue in cheek and meta the movie is. Sure. In more ways too. Tom Noonan as the ripper, heat, manhunter, Robocop 2, Robert Proski, RIP, as Nick, missus Doubtfire, Dead Man Walking, and Michael Mann's masterpiece, thief. Christine as well.

Oh, yeah. Sure. Learned about all of it. John Carpenter's Christine. John Carpenter's Christine based on the Stephen King novel.

Mercedes Ruehl was Irene, Danny's mom. The Fisher King, married to the mob, and Big. Dustin Boston Yonkers? Yeah. You can I love that Dustin's, like, making sure we cover the gamut?

He's got a dossier here. I like he's got a whole fucking file. Dustin It's, like, 5 to 6. Like a murder board in a That's right. Dustin have.

Yes. Taking a look at, my god, the cameos. It's like this. It's like the Itchy and Scratchy movie here. Art Carney, his last role.

Art Carney from The Honeymooners. This was his final film role. Anthony Quinn as Tony Vivaldi. We have sir Ian McKellen as death Yes. So good.

From Ingvar Bergman. What a what a wild appearance. Right? Jim Belushi, we have professor Toru Tanaka. Where does Belushi show up?

Belushi shows up at the premiere. So many show up at the premiere. Oh, sure. Okay. Like, we have MC Hammer.

We have Was the premiere shot in London? That's a I'm not sure. Because it doesn't sometimes it doesn't It's massive. Sometimes it doesn't look like New York when they're shooting. I I would agree.

Yeah. Let's see. Robert Patrick re reprising his role from t 2. As far as we know. Judgment Day.

Or is there was actually a funny conversation. Arnold actually got Robert Patrick on the phone and said, you need to do the role because you did it in Wayne's World. Yeah. That's true. Good justification.

I just I can't I I don't understand that moment Because then they go to the blockbuster, and t 2 is a movie. Yes. So there's and I feel like that there's a lot of Let it wash over you guys. Laws. Let it wash over you.

Or happy accidents. Okay. Yep. You know, taking a look at oh my gosh. Stop trying to make sense of the fantasy.

MC Hammer, Tina Turner? Tina Turner on the crime scene? I'm not sure. Maybe a news reporter? First scene of the movie.

She's the deputy governor. The lieutenant governor. I believe one of my first notes, out of the out of the goat out of the gates kitsch. Out of the goat. Out of the goat.

Angie Everhart speaks to that. Speaking of Out of the goat, into the sheep. Sharon Stone, j JCVD, Jean Claude Van Damme, Salone in promo standee form, Chris Connelly, MTV News, Chris Connelly, Bridgette Wilson Sampson, or, start Samson. Had to pay to loan for that? Probably nothing.

For the presence? For likeness? I mean, maybe something, but they were friends by then, I think, or were becoming friends. And and I remember at the time being very, like it was very it was kinda like, as a music fan, you're always told in Coltrane or Davis. Like, you know, it's like Stallone or Schwarzenegger.

What do you like? You know what I mean? Well, one was more hyper violent, and one was becoming a little more family friendly earlier. Yeah. Stallone was definitely more violent or and or dramatic than Schwarzenegger for longer.

Mhmm. I don't know if that's accurate, but that's my feel. I think as an actor, Stallone's a better actor. I think as a movie star, I think Schwarzenegger might be a better movie star. Copland.

Yeah. Whenever anybody shits on Stallone man. Mhmm. Cop if you can put forth one really fantastic I mean, as Rocky, he's been great several times. Not every time, but several times.

Rocky. Mhmm. Rub it up. We got Danny DeVito as Whiskers, the detective. Alright.

Whiskers, the cat, the cartoon. Yeah. The main detective. Detective. And then, my personal favorite character, actor, and definitely into my top ten, Rick Ducumin, from, blank check.

And the Burbs? And the Burbs. Which was on this program? Yeah. And he's a stand up.

He was pretty funny and weird. Fantastic. Taking a look at filming for this movie, there's a lot of back and forth on this. Like, we depending on who you're asking. It lasted up until the week before the release of this movie.

Holy shit. It's just insane. I've heard 3 weeks Sorry. I've heard 3 weeks. I've heard that they were mulling over or just nickel and diming certain things at toward the end.

Wow. And then, taking a look at, the villain, Benedict. Tim Curry and Alan Rickman were considered for the role in the original screenplay. Hans Gruber from Die Hard was supposed to actually be the villain within this movie. Is that too meta?

Too meta. It's yeah. I would I would think so. Yeah. Because it's supposed to be an actual movie.

Right. So I feel like you would it would start to pull you out. I think t 1,000 fine, I can forgive that, or Sharon Stone, I I can forgive that. It's like Hollywood Fine. Whatever.

Yeah. But if it's just straight up like Hans Gruber that, I'm like, How is he in these two franchises? Unless it's a prequel to Die Hard. Right. Yeah.

That's the only way it would work. Definitely 93 LA. This is not it has all the feel of it. All the beautiful women that's Yeah. I was in a rush.

Sure. Danny. All the women are so cute. Yeah. I don't you know, it's funny.

It's like with the, McTiernan thing. You know? It's Hans Gruber's brother. It's very, you know, take a take a look at the, soon to follow-up. Diehead with a vengeance.

But, Paul's favorite Die Hard. Might as well. Might as well. A lot of peoples. A lot of peoples.

That's what you lost. There are dozens of us. Dozens. Go back to the team. Did we decide Die Hard for sure?

We did in That's how I know for sure. Won both of the debate debate. Fucking fuck. I didn't take debate class in high school and get beat up for nothing. Oh, I always lost.

Maybe that's why I didn't lose the fights because I'm so bad at debate. I have a tiny piece. So Well, that was awkward. It was. Talking about filming, and we'll dig into, you know, some of the writing, some of the snafus, some of the issues.

A lot of rewrites on this thing. Right? Oh, yeah. A lot of rewrites. Imagine.

And so could you? Folks that that participated in some rewrites. The Lord's Carrie Fisher from, you know, Star Wars fame. Thank you. You didn't know.

Oh, the hunt of Red October. William Goldman from Marathon Man. Fun fact I found on that. It's fun fact time. William Goldman, last minute, was offered $1,000,000 to do 4 days of of rewrites.

Say it one more time like doctor evil. $1,000,000, say? $1,000,000. That's how we did that. Doctor doctor just like that.

Doctor Abel. Doctor Abel. Abel. Doctor Abel. Yes.

Yeah. Did you okay. Did you have a doctor named doctor Abel who talked like a 19 thirties Carney? Clearly. But, raspberry.

But I believe that real world people thought that doctor evil was doctor evil. Right? They thought it was Doctor, Abel? I want a I want a yes, and you, but I'm not sure where this is going, and I'm not I just I'm not confident in my own skills enough. I'm gonna be honest with you.

I can't do a doctor This is why Paul for failed, UCB. Oh, no. I want a yes and you. I have I only I only had to do 201 three times. Yeah.

301, I only had to do twice. But you wear it so well. 401, we'll see how many times. So I might go back $1,000,000 for William Goldman. That's that's a chunk of change.

What did he what did he say? That's a crop. If he said, is that guy cone flace or cone? A cone of phrase. Cone of phrase.

Cone of phrase. Cone of phrase. I I learned that today on Paul's bed. That's different than the cone of silence. Exactly.

There's a lot going on here. I'm gonna be inside you in a moment, Tocona phrase. As they say. As they said. Wow.

You know, I'm having a great time. Are you? As you should. We're rolling on the bees. So we got a lot to go here, boys.

I will say that when Sony screened this, it was disastrous. Yeah. With the initial screening of this movie, so bad that Sony felt the need to destroy the viewers' comment cards Oh my gosh. And, the feedback cards rather. Bartle just pleaded for them to push to July for a release.

My god. He had to he had to feel the pressure of of, Jurassic Park, which Oh, yeah. I will say to that why the studio and Shane Black felt so confidently about them going up against Jurassic Park. It was because Spielberg Steven Spielberg's previous movie, Hook, was such a failure compared to his previous releases that they felt it was soft, that they could go up against it. That's That's a really arrogant mistake.

And overconfident and universal to speak to the fucking greatness of various studio powers. Universal picked that date after Sony picked the date for last action hero. Oh. And even after Schwarzenegger was like, I will pay for an amount of the losses depending on the losses, maybe the entirety, if you just push the movie back This is like a month. And somebody wouldn't do it.

Dead Reckoning, Barbenheimer situation where it's like, if they just they released the week before Barbenheimer and they're like, guys, what do you think is gonna happen here? Right. Come on. That to me is just like it it's it borders on idiotic. Because he was like, what the fuck are you doing?

You're you're going up against Steven fucking Spielberg, the captain of fucking blockbusters. What do you think is going to happen here? And by the way, Ben doesn't feel like Hook is a failure on any level. Neither do I. But it's wild to me that You're close, baby.

It's wild to me that Hook is his lowest ranked film on Rotten Tomatoes. Is it really? Yeah. Wow. Of all his movies, I didn't I feel like I'm just figuring that out.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is higher. There are a few movies that I'm not gonna unpack in this moment that I'm surprised I agree. That are not rated lower than that. I would agree. I also I've been handed this.

Oh, thanks, Samo. This, thank you, Samo. This episode was brought to us by the 3 seashells. Oh, hey. What do they do?

The c3 shells? I hope they're gonna tell us. Wait. The c3 shells. The c3 shells.

Sally sells c3 shells down by the c shell. Rubber baby buggy bumpers. I bet you didn't know I was gonna say that, did you? I almost bit my beer into the microphone. Okay.

You didn't know I was gonna say that, did you? I did not. We've been gearing up for this for a really long time. Yes. And as you do listen to this and still agreed to come here That's right.

Because you're sick. That's right. You're handsome and you're sick. That's what I do. What's the log line to last action arrow?

Let me tell you. He wrote it down. Oh. This guy did it. If he wrote it down, we can't This guy brought a level of notes like he's studying for the SAT.

Dude, it was me on the white man can't jump back. So to the SAT. On steroids. Right? By the way, you guys wanna go take You know what's really funny about this is, let's see.

Log line of this movie is, he's bad, she's worse. That's the tagline. That's it. What's the logline? No.

That's the problem we talked to. I was like, it's not that's not it. That's right. Boys, you know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna go I hope too.

Which you were given on LaserDisc for your appearance here. That's right. This is correct. We're throwing you a curve ball of an improv. You have to pitch us this movie Okay.

In 3 to 6 sentences like we're on an elevator. Oh, wonderful. It's gonna say, boy obsessed with action movie or boy is boy obsessed with action films becomes part of the action himself. That's so good. That's so clear and concise.

It's even more simple and boilerplate than what's there, but I'm more titillated by it. Paul. It's here. Put it inside of me. Do I have to keep that now?

I'm still gonna cut that out. The log line to last action hero is, with the help of a magic ticket, a young movie fan is transported into the fictional world of his favorite action movie character. Now they missed one thing here. With the help of a magic ticket, a young annoying movie fan is they didn't put the annoying. We find him an annoying young movie fan.

Did Shane Black write that? I don't know. Don't I mean strong feeling. Isn't that isn't that normally the consensus feeling? The dudes and the kids aren't Isn't the kids just so annoying?

I thought he reminded me a little bit of you. Attractive. Interesting. In terms of like Balding. Like watch He's a balding child.

No. But like Uh-uh. In watching it this time, I was like, oh, I think Paul saw himself in this kid. Interesting. I know I did.

That was a big deal. I mean, I think you should Take that for what it is worth, but But, no, no. Frankly, I saw myself inside the garage. We're just Damn. It's fucking Well, this is me, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And this is me on a screen here riding towards the camera. To tell you about the 3 seashells and the scorching Schwarzenegger some are here under review review. That is wrapping up here with Last Action Hero, and I have been tested by Back to the Future. I am down but not out. That's right.

I bought this out of time to tell you about the 3 seashells that give you the scorching seashell. To burn off any excess problems you may have in your sensitive areas, anything like that. Everything will be cleaned through the cleansing fire that is brought to us by fireball from the running man as well. Run my fist up your ass and break your goddamn spine. Good times and noodle salad.

And then we finish it off with the summer where you can have applied the summer's eve or the summer's Steve. Whatever you prefer. Where you are kissed with gentle air from our fan brought to us with our collaboration X OnlyFans. That's right. Here in the review review, Ben's blockbuster Bonanza Summer, we're capping it off, having a blast watching Back to the Future.

But in the meantime, if you want to stay clean and clear, you have to use the 3 seashells brought to you by me, the man who is bringing you the scorching, almost Schwarzenegger summer. But with the DeLorean as my witness, I'll be back. Well, hey there, everybody. At the review review, this is Paul's dad, purveyor, owner, customer, runner, proprietor, and solicitor of OnlyFans in Willdan, Washington, where we sell OnlyFans, including the 3 seashells. Our collab with the scorchin' scorcher maker summer here on the review review, the fan for the summer function made entirely by OnlyFans.

And you can get your 3 seashells at OnlyFans as well as 8 track tapes of episodes of this program, the review review. That's right. Here in Woodland, Washington, we have every single episode available on 8 track, those 8 track tapes. Oh, fuck. Make sure you get your creams 8 track tapes.

Yo. Review review 8 track tapes. Follow the review review at review x 2 podcast on Instagram. You can follow Ben on Letterboxd.runbmc, and Paul on Letterboxd atpaulaxbadly. That's right.

OnlyFans. Woodley Washington's only choice for OnlyFans. How do you get here? Just remember, off the I five, take a lift at the Arctic Circle. Before we get into anything, I had no idea that's what the 3 seashells did.

The poop? The what it does with the poop and what it does with all the various other stuff. I I appreciate them sponsoring this episode. And if you ask me, because it was never explained in demolition man that that's what those did. It's just funny that you don't know what they do.

I I was I was surprised Until now. Surprised about that. What an ad. 5 minute Zeppelin story you told, in the ad. That was weird.

Uh-huh. I will I will destroy all of this equipment. I will come across I will I will lean into my baser instincts. I'm gonna wait until after this? Like, yeah.

I gotta know the Zep story. It's like Dustin's like, I've been waiting to record this for a year. Like, we gotta finish it. I'll take a nap if you want me to, and come back to it in the morning if you want. Okay.

Obviously, clearly, we're back, and we all know what happens when we back. I'm shuffled. I said I would be back. I'll be back. You didn't know.

I was gonna say that, did you? Dustin, we have to play a round of cinephile. Do you know how this game works? No. You are going to take a card that's handed to you by the lovely and vivacious Benjamin.

I heard that shuffle. It was nice. Thanks. You will look at the actor on the card. That's right.

You will look at the movie below the actor's name in a horrible, very difficult to read yellow. Yeah. You have to really And you that will be your freebie movie. After that, it will go to me to guess another movie featuring that actor and then Ben and then you and someone. Fun.

So here we go. Angela Bassett. And what is the movie? Say What's Love Got to Do with With It? Strange days.

What's Love Got to Do With It? Black Panther. The verbs. Black Panther 2. Black Panther Wakanda Forever.

There you go. There you go. We had we had full titles here. Oh, there you go. I was doing that as a stalling mechanism.

That's right. I I lost. Fuck. Yes. I'm so glad I got that.

Have you seen the burbs? Was she actually in the burbs? Who said the burbs? Who? Angela Bassett.

I didn't know any movie she's been in. Oh, I'm sorry about that. I missed that completely. I missed that. What's love's got to do with that.

I do not know the movies. Wait. I'm wishing you how Stella got her groove back. Yes. That was my next movie.

But you already lost. You lost. No. You lost. Well, you boys really lost because you missed it.

I we did. I mean, that's feral, sir. We did because we were obsessed with our own competition. What's love got to do with it? Dustin Dustin.

Damn it. Tell us your first experience with this movie as far as you can remember it or first clump of remembrance of this film, your memory. I'm surprised you didn't miss that. Please yeah. Me too.

And then please tell me your most recent viewing and current rating. So Sure. Old viewing, old rating, current viewing, current rating. My experience with this movie. So my 93 being a massive movie year for me, going to see this movie with my mom, Kathy De Leon, and my brother Tyler De Leon.

There you go. I it's funny. I even think about I gotta find gotta find that 5th grade journal. This I guess this would have happened during summer, but I remember writing, dear journal, I saw Amos and Andrew today. It was pretty good.

But I saw loaded Weapon 1. It's hilarious. I will say that this movie stuck with me, you know, just seeing it in the theater. Kind of going back to what I was talking about, seeing myself inside of, Danny Madigan. But I'm Damn it.

But when I will say Goddamn it, Dustin. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. Because you know what? You know, you you okay. Arnold talked about this, you know, the too long didn't read.

He wanted to make a movie because he'd been doing so many violent movies. Think about all the movies he was doing up to up to present time. He wanted to do something that was good for the family, and he wanted to make a movie and be part of a movie that made him feel like when he was a kid and he saw John Wayne on that screen, and he wanted to join John Wayne. What if he jumped on the horse? What if he shot the bad guy?

And Yeah. If you hear his excitement for that today as a 42 year old man, it takes me back to seeing this movie and going like, you know what? Damn. I wanna jump in that movie. I wanna I wanna join in the action.

You wanna fall in the back seat and boot? That's right. Exactly. And waste in the silence and then gunshot. You know?

And joined the action. You know? And, it was it was the first time in my young life that I saw a movie that was like, woah. This kid's not much older than me. And he jumped into the action, and he he was smart about it.

He knew what to expect. He knew what was part of the script. And, you know, he's like, no. No. No.

This is this is what's gonna happen next because this is an action movie. He's the smartest he's the smartest guy in the room. He knows. He knows the universe. He's and the fact that he quickly adapts to that.

But that was exciting for me as a kid, 5th grade, going into 6th grade that, like, damn. This is cool. And, you know, I think about movies like Pleasantville. You think about movies where they break that 4th wall. Last Action Hero was that first movie for me where it felt like, you know, it was involving me.

You know? Like, a huge issue of adventure. Directly being pulled in or you had a direct avatar or yeah. Yeah. Dude, and this Schwarzenegger, you know, as a kid, you're like, holy shit.

Oh, god. Yeah. Yeah. And it's kinda like the aforementioned, like, Hulk Hogan and w w w u shit. Sure.

Where it's like, oh my god. He's he's looping this kid into this. Right. As a kid seeing that, you don't quite comprehend that they're actors. But, you know, you see, oh, damn.

This guy that I saw in Terminator 2 who is this this robot, you know, just this unidentifiable or unrelatable character. Oh my gosh. That same guy from that movie that I just saw last year is playing with this kid. So, like, this when you were a kid, you were completely enamored with this. This is like you're tell are you, like, are you leading me to a 5?

No. I would use I would say even even then for for me, at that time, I would call it a 4 exploding glass eyes. Okay? Vengeance is. K.

It's a decker. And so you're 4 out of 5 when you were a kid. 5 when I was a kid because you think you well, you think about You are fucking dumping praise on this thing. Like, you're pouring out one of the 3 seashells on it. But I'm also but I'm also not one to ease easily give, the goat title.

Yeah. You know, even as a kid Yeah. Where I was like You don't go hyperbolic. I I do in some. I'm just hyperactive.

I do in some aspects. But I mean, you think about that at the time, you know, I had to kind of transport to where I was at 93 Yeah. As a 5th grader. Like, what was I into? Well, and now, you just rewatched this.

Yeah. And what are you into now? How do you feel now? Tell me. Yeah.

How did you watch it? When did you tell us the whole Okay. So I will say my too long didn't read on this. I watched this movie about 4 days before my son, my my youngest son was born, and he was born prematurely. Too long, didn't read.

This past year has been wild. When revisiting this and talking to Paul about, hey, we still gotta do this. We still gotta do this. It's given me so much normalcy. And I look at when it comes time to just, hey, we're gonna watch this movie again.

Naturally, I went back and I was like, dude, I took a shitload of notes. Where did I put those notes? Or did I email myself? Did I write it to my notes? Just looked up Last Action Hero in notes, and there they were.

And it was such an impactful moment to you guys have no idea. It was such an impactful moment to me to go back and see 4 days before this wild ride started, I watched this movie, and I took notes. And I took I will cite these notes today. And just to watch that movie, like, a week and a half ago again, and watch it with the lens of what I've gone through. And it really truly, without any kind of hyperbole, it I watched it through a different lens this time than I did this time last year, which was I did not expect that.

I didn't expect it. This is a movie I've defended to the death because I I always the too long didn't read on it, I always feel like this movie has sucked because people tell me it sucks. You know, like Chief Wiggum saying, even on the Simpsons The last one sucked McBain. Exactly. He was like, yeah.

Magic tactic magic ticking my ass. Magic ticking my ass. Where it's like that idea that, oh, shit, of the time it was parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger to In a movie that shouted the Simpsons, which is like That's right. Yeah. Even the original any any original writer cited the Simpsons as a reference of of this movie of a true action parody.

You know? And I I look at that, and I was like, you know, I I took it as almost a personal affront as a kid to be like, damn. Like, people are telling me this thing I love sucks. That's not cool. Yeah.

No shit. Yeah. And even you know what? Like, watching that movie watching this movie last year, being a married father of 1, and then going through everything, you know, just yada yada the past year, it really kind of opened up my eyes to my own you know, when I talk about I see myself in the character Danny Madigan, that I was a child of a single parent. Mhmm.

Mercedes role was my mom. My mom made it, so didn't even feel like there was a dad even present. My mom kicked ass with that, you know, where it's like it just felt like normal. There was never any concern. It was just, I but I saw myself in Danny Madigan.

My mom, understanding. Mercedes role in this role, understanding. Understanding that, hey, you have your path. You're into action for Danny's arguments piece of it. But I just want you to be happy.

That's that seems to be the overarching role in this. And Before you give your rating Yeah. Did you see the alternate ending to this movie? Or do you No. But I've I've only heard.

It's Danny and Irene, Austin and Mercedes Ruehl walking out of the theater together and discussing what's happened and how she's like, I don't care. All I care is that you're okay. And then she reveals that she's, like, horny, and she's like, where's Jack, though? Like, what the hell with that guy? Your mother And I could No.

But it's just, like, kinda what you're saying where it's just, like, there's this I don't know. It's there's part of me that would have liked that ending that has, like, a level of effectiveness, but, totally, it didn't work. But, like, I don't know what you're saying is making me think of it. No. No.

No. And I think that, for me, like, having seen this from the from the lens of being a dad, Danny Madigan loses his dad. So there's that piece of it. There's no father figure. Jack Slater loses his son.

And there is that connection. It is the idea that you can have connections with folks that aren't, you know, in that designated role. There's a lot of dark shit in this movie. A lot of, like, heavy subject matter for sure. Yeah.

But they do it so well, you know, where it's just digestible. Where it's not it doesn't beat you over the head with it Well either. To me, this is a You gotta you gotta do it. This is a 5 exploding glass eyes movie for me. Woah.

And I don't throw that off. He's okay. Yeah. He's pretty serious about this. This.

Yeah. That's hard to follow. And I wanna say really quickly, I think Dustin knows my feelings about this movie. I've spoken about this movie in the years that we've been friends. And we have put this movie aside, as a couple other people actually wanted to watch it, the which is irrelevant.

But it was important not only to do this movie with Dustin because Dustin wanted to do it, and we wanted to do it with Dustin. But this was kind of a marker to know that Dustin could be here and feel okay about it as he said he's gone through a lot with his family, and we, look at me in my face. We love you. We're so happy you're here. I love you.

Truly. Thank you. Thank you for doing this. Dude. Huge.

Yeah. It took a lot of time and a lot of guts to, like, get to this point, and, you're gonna enjoy the shit out of this very long episode. If you need to take a nap, please. You let me know. I can take a nap?

You know, I'm making the rules here. Right? I need you. Please don't take a nap. So I'll go because it's my turn.

When I was a kid, this was 5 out of 5, and I would've rated it Pontiac Bonneville's because I fucking love Jack Slater's car. It's still great. It's an absolute land yacht, rock yacht. It's amazing. It's this beautiful gold convertible with red pleather interior, and it's a fucking classic.

It's gorgeous. And, Dustin, a lot of what you said resonates with me. Danny was my avatar. I'm gonna be very careful with that. Danny was was somebody I could project myself on, and I've always just fucking loved movies.

Loved them. And the 1st rated r movie I ever saw was Terminator 2 that I watched in its entirety voluntarily by my own volition. We all know Same. On this podcast, it was Nightmare on Elm Street 5, not by my volition. Wasn't happy about it.

So with Terminator 2, though, especially because you have John Connor, another great avatar, someone to project on, who's more of, like, a fucking punk. I steal money. Like, ends up being a military leader, so on and so forth. But it's like, don't fucking kill people, John Connor says. And so because of that justification, my single dad was like, great.

Go for it. Like, not a a high actual body count. Yeah. And this movie feels like a mildly natural transition to that in terms of what you were saying, Dustin, also where it's, like, Schwarzenegger made kindergarten cop and twins and was kinda trying to reach into various genres. But because I was so enamored with this movie, with I didn't even realize how much until years ago, not now, years ago, how really fucking brilliant and sneaky and fucking fantastic this movie is.

But at that point, I rated it 5 out of 5 for most of my life. I maybe have seen this movie more or about as much, I don't know, as Dustin has seen Ghostbusters answer the call. I've seen this movie a lot up to and including that I own this digitally in 4 k and recently was like, does this have a higher end one? Oh, SteelBook? Great.

Got it. And spent money on a I own 2 copies of this movie now shortly because I like it so much, but it was 5 out of 5. I watched this a year ago. I watched this, like, 6 or 8 months ago. And then I watched it again yesterday morning.

And Dustin and I, without sharing any feelings, watched a scene of this movie together today in my bed as we mentioned. We've talked about this already. Yeah. And I walked away. Then you'll never guess my rating system.

I'm standing by that. I don't think I will. It's 4a half, absolutely disgusting, annihilated, hangnail fucking covered, scabby, nasty kid, popcorn hands. Danny scapped up fucking hands. Seen that popcorn.

I actually was gonna bring you guys popcorn and just, like, I was gonna color some red right here. Oh. It's so bad. Yeah. The 1 half fillet, man.

There's a may there's a really specific thing. I forgive this movie for a lot because it's a fucking fantasy movie, but there's one really specific thing that I think the movie really relies on that floated for me as a kid in the first couple viewings, and I don't think has floated for me since and still doesn't, and we'll get into it. Beautiful. You're looking at me. It means I speak.

It's your turn. It's your turn. Okay. Yeah. Dustin and I both went on and on.

Brain. Sorry about it. Calibrate. Alive. Words.

If you feel it, chase it. Chase it. I saw this movie in the theater. Woah. I did not.

I remember really liking this movie. I had a, I had a shirt, with whiskers on it. Oh, get out. They hate it. That's awesome.

I would a 100% had a shirt with whiskers on it. Unreal. I thought whiskers was awesome. I remember loving whiskers. I and, again, I think I'm younger, so I was probably I was only, like, 5 or 6.

I was thinking I was 6. I thought it was so cool. In terms of, like, movies where I, like, projected myself onto the person who, like, got in terms of, like, being, like, drawn into an adventure or something like, I can only like think the movie for me that does this for a lot of people was Jumanji. There you go. In terms of like being like That's a that's a movie this predates.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. So anyway, I probably back then probably would have given it a 4. I probably would have given it a a solid 4.

I've watched it a lot. I'm a little surprised, and I love it. Keep going. Okay. This is where I might lose both of you as friends.

No. We're gonna get you back. I'm very confident. I I've probably seen this movie, I'd say maybe, like, 2 or 3 times since then. I think I watched it again in college, but I was probably really intoxicated, and don't remember it.

But I remember always talking fondly about this movie, like, speaking fondly about it with friends from college or other friends. Like, yeah. You know? What what a cool idea. What a cool concept to be, like, go go into this action movie world and get to live it.

And Taryn is just such a solid fucking action director. So My god. Yes. You know that those Yeah. Action set pieces are gonna hold up.

And they do. So I just rewatched this. For a million reasons. I just rewatched this. I also watched it a year ago.

For me, I think a lot of this movie I love the concept of this movie. I think that the entire conceit of this movie is phenomenal. I love the idea of the whole meta sort of conversation around movie logic and real logic and, like, the existential crisis of not being a real person and being a fictional character. Like, there's so much about this movie in sort of blurbs that I really think works. And I'm I'm I'm stalling because I know I'm going to, but this movie goes on too long for me.

I Okay. At a certain point, I hit max capacity with concept and and the world building. The stakes start to dwindle a little bit for me, and I'm not as invested as I want to be going forward. Now I don't disagree with the idea of them going into I actually really love the idea of them going into our world. I think all of that stuff in our world is actually really, really well done.

I just think it should have happened sooner. And then there were some things in there that I wish were trimmed. So before we converse about this, I'm putting a heart on it. Oh, the bad movie heart. Because it has a heart for me.

K. And I'm gonna give this for me, and I might move, You will. 3 Charlie buckets because I've got the golden ticket. I've got the golden winkle in my eye. You gave Willow Sure.

A 3a half, which is a fantasy movie that exists completely in a fantasy situation entirely. Yep. And the justification of that movie, of the whole thing, was the magic was in you all along, which to a degree is the justification of the magic in this movie. But also, that's not the only person that has the magic. The ticket slightly has a mind of its own.

And, again, you gave Willow a 3a half, and maybe this is more your avenue, and that's fine. It's all subjective. But if you think Willow is better on a filmmaking level than this, you are fucking insane. This is where I'm talking about. Paul's gonna Paul's gonna hate me at this moment.

I won't, but that's, like, that's insane because, like, this is a much better movie overall. They're incomparable in many ways because I don't I don't see this as a fantasy. They're both about magic. How do you not see this as a fantasy? You're telling me so in a so describe Do you believe in magic tickets that transport you to movies?

No. But describe a fantasy for me. What what what's a fantasy genre fantasy genre to you? Things that happen outside of the realm of reality. Like, things that you truly cannot explain or justify, like, most of this movie.

But I feel like that's, like, most movies. I agree and disagree. It's like lethal weapon. I can justify a shitload of that or at least the behavior of people whether or not it's Sure. You even look about you look at it inside the movie, you know, where it's, talk about Jack Slater 4 as its own standalone, you know, the idea of doing chicken and, impaling a man with his with an ice cream cone.

Dakota Frizz. It's a it's a Dakota Frizz. But you you figure, you know, and this is this is someone this is myself. I am not a fan. I've always been a realist when it comes to what I enjoy.

Like I don't I don't read fiction books. I don't like it's not they're not real. That's right. I'm so interested in things that have happened, things that are factual, things that can only happen in real life. You know, unless I can transport Hoop dreams.

What's that? Hoop dreams. What's that? The documentary about basketball. DiCaprio?

Is that Nope. That's basketball Giants. I know. I'm not a basketball fan. Oh.

Okay. So Hey. No. Just the first documentary I thought. Hey.

Oh, jeez. But, no. But but to me, like, fantasy, like, it takes a lot for me to believe. Mhmm. Where it's, like, to pull me into a world where I can believe.

Sure. You know, where it is that idea that with this, it's, yeah, the idea of dynamite popping through when I'm at That's cool. It it's pretty dope. Yeah. I I don't disagree.

I I can't compare this to Willow because that to me is like a sword and sorcerer. I was gonna say The genres are different. At it, like, as far as, like, from, like, a subject matter kind of piece of it from fantasy, where it's, like, what's typically in line with a fantasy? I mean, to me, this is if you're gonna put a fantasy in the genre, it's action fantasy. Okay.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Subject With a lot of comedy. It's that. Yeah.

I consider Raiders of the Lost Ark to have fantasy elements because, like, there's not an arc that's gonna melt people's faces off. See that? So, like, that's a fantastical element. So there are elements of fantasy in it, and this movie is mostly fantasy, like, not only when we're in the fantasy world. And that's the thing is, like, especially when you're like, I'm gonna put the heart on this where it's like, it's a it's a bad movie that 3 stars sounds like you like.

Yeah. Like, it's like, yeah. That makes perfect sense to me. I'm gonna do my very best to bring you up, either bring the star rating up and or remove the heart. Well, you didn't invite me to your bed to watch it.

So Well, it's just a matter of time. There's still time. It's just a matter of time. It's not very far away. But we should light the stogie.

I don't take no shit from anyone. I smoke my stogie anywhere I want. Dark dog movie. Suck dog movie. Suck dog movie.

And now, our feature presentation. I don't have to find a hideout place like you. When the movie starts, the immediate arrival of Jack Slater, the establishment of music, and how crisp it looks. Yeah. The movie is so clean.

The lines are so clean. The light is so clean. Everything is so high budget Hollywood. Yeah. That's what I had written down.

I was actually, the first note that I have is big Hollywood series feel. Like, you it's already established. It's established. You know that Slater's the man. It's ballsy.

Because I'm a stud. I don't take no shit from anyone. It's ballsy. It's a it doesn't ask its wife to talk to the daddy. The daddy gave me the stogies.

Who do you think gave me the permission to have the stogies? The daddy. Not the daddy. But but with out of the gates, out of the fucking gates, you got Decker there just like going ape about Tina Turner. Yeah.

There's a scene. But then who enters in, it is the most to me. It calls on all all of my favorite warm hug movies. Walking in, dude, it is like Riggs. Riggs is walking on top of police cars.

Yeah. He's going in. They obviously have it under control. They have the National Guard and everybody they need, but who walks in over the cars? Jack Slater, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Yeah. So to me, it's just such a cool intro of like over the top. Top. Yeah. Where it's like flip the hat backwards, start arm wrestling.

Yeah. We're going. I gotta say 2 leaks score here is great. It's amazing. And this movie was originally titled Extremely Violent.

It was a really hard edged, r rated movie, and Schwarzenegger, who had soundtrack control, toy control, all this stuff, soundtrack multi platinum, by the way. The whole idea of this movie from the get was we are feeling that the heyday of the action star of the eighties is ending. Mhmm. And we are lampooning this. And Schwarzenegger and his team were like, but can we dumb it down a shade?

Can we make it, like, PG 13? Right. And things like, you ever want to be a farmer? Here's a couple of acres, and he kicks the guy in the balls. Like, that shit is supposed to be dumb.

Like, I think people sometimes don't realize that there's a level of this that is Starship Troopers. Oh, yeah. Where there are things that are so intentional. But it Yeah. I mean, it it feels like to me and this is not meant as a pejorative in any way.

It feels like to me like a kids movie. Yes. It's supposed to appeal to a very broad audience. That that was a big part of what they wanted. I mean, that was sort of the issue that a lot of folks apparently had with us at the time was that, okay, is this meant for kids?

Is this meant for adults? Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger. Yeah. It's very adaptable.

I think it's really clearly got girls. Teenage boys. Like, young boys. Right. Yeah.

And there are some pieces of this movie that even as I have currently rated it 5 exploding class size, there are times I'm like, gosh. Fuck off. Really with that? Like, you know, we're we're we're seeing those where I'm like, god. If you just would've taken that out.

Even in this first scene Mhmm. When Slater ascends this building and we find that his son has been taken captive by the ripper, his old nemesis. Man. Yeah. Yeah.

And Tom Noonan just killing it with the dentures and the the skull and And the makeup. And the rain jacket, and the rain jacket's great. And Tom Tom Noonan is a fucking absolute juggernaut of character actors. He is one of the greats. So I He's Francis Dollarhide in in fucking Manhunter.

He's amazing. And where Yeah. Schwarzenegger's throwing out all these guns that Ripper tells him, throw throw out your guns. And that's the thing is when you watched action movies from that time, there was always a second or third weapon. Yeah.

Always. In the holster. In the Yeah. In your ass. This is like This is like dirty, hairy.

This is like It's making fun of all the shit that no longer matters. And it's so funny because it reminds me a lot of hotshots. Sure. Or like a naked gun even. Yeah.

Where it's like, oh, god. The guns are coming from everywhere. And it's so funny with Tom Noonan. I'll I'll I'll keep this extremely brief. At the time, my best my best friend at the time, Wade Wade Courteau.

Did I ever tell you my, Jay Leno story? No. No. Older than me. And he was always like the pinnacle of what was cool.

He'd always be like, hey, man Classic Courteau. You gotta watch Beavis and Butt Head. It's dope. You gotta listen to Rollins Band. You gotta listen to Helmet.

He would just be very he was on the cusp of what was real big. And I remember him talking to me about last action hero because he saw it before me. And he's like, dude, they got Tom fucking Newnan. And I remember I I remember saying because and and I've talked to him since and that's another diatribe. But, like, it's He's not wrong.

No. No. But I talked to him since. He came from his dad was the hard ass that made him watch badass movies when he was 4. Oh, shit.

And he and he he was well Sit down and watching Manhunter. Yeah. Exactly. And I got an education from him, and he had gotten an education from me and my mom and my family. What what it is to be like, you know, more of a more of an in-depth, engrossed family.

Thank you Wankertoe. No. No. Wankertoe is dope as shit. I love him forever.

He's in Vegas. Hey, Wankertoe. We all do. We're indebted to Wankertoe. Because he maybe even told me.

He's like, dude, my best memories were Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Wait. Wait. And he's unreal. He's super good. He's one of those guys, like, similar to it's like we saw more of tyranny recently in Twisters.

Right? There's never been a bad moment of a performance. Like, there may be things happening around him that aren't always great, but he's always so good himself. This also the ripper throws his axe at Jack as, like, does he kill Jack's son? Does he not kill Jack's son?

He apparently does. The projector goes out, but in the moment out in the moment, you don't know. Yeah. But what I was found And the projector goes out. What I found funny with that was, like, it seemed like such an action move, where it was, like, I remember thinking in hindsight looking at that.

I'm, like, instead of taking the cool way out, you could have just pivoted that way and stopped what was about to happen and what was fading away before Nick D. Movie logic the movie's on the fritz. Movie logic. You know? Well, and that's like when the projector goes out and you're pulled into New York, immediately, the lighting's different.

The filters are different. Yeah. And to me, like, it's not because we're going dark to dark, like, a night in LA to indoors night in New York and then outdoors night to New York. None of it feels that wildly different yet, but there is a warmth that has gone away when I am now the projector goes out, and I'm with Danny. And this is the thing that I think is gonna be tough is explaining when we're in real life and not in real life Yeah.

At times. Now we're not in real life. We're or we are in real life. We're now in reality. To to my point.

Movie world. Which is like a movie world reality. Yeah. It's so fucking meta and so crazy ahead of its time. Movie within a movie within a movie.

Correct. Nick. Yeah. Nick. Mhmm.

Old guy runs a theater. To The Kane Theater, it looks like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Taken over by a Lowe's Theater if you look at the sign in. Corporate cinema. Yeah. What I love about that, my one of the when I watched this last year, I the only note I wrote was Prosky is a pro.

Rob Prosky is just does such does a such a great job of the unassuming of the He's so warm. Behind the 8 ball, but he's so warm. And that's what I noted. It was just like that relationship between Danny and Nick was so sweet. Yeah.

It it felt like an old man who saw a kid Yeah. Like, and project could project himself. Yeah. It's like, oh, I love movies. I love magic.

I was enamored with this whole world. Yeah. And Danny has to go to school. He doesn't go to school. Imagine.

Because he's busy. He just goes to movies. Busy watching movies. And a point I've made on this podcast a 1000000 times, Baz Luhrmann watched this movie and was like, that. Because Joan Plowright comes in, classic British actor, many BBC credits, British film credits.

Teacher that looks like a B author? Correct. And they're watching Hamlet. They're want they're watching the Lawrence the Lawrence Olivia of Hamlet. And then they give us the Schwarzenegger trailer, of Hamlet Yeah.

Still on the Olivier set. And it but it's Baz Luhrmann. Except that's That was buzz that that was the whole No. No. No.

This is just the kind of pulled the aesthetic of Baz Luhrmann for, like The guns. Yeah. The the the bravura. Color versus the black and white. The noir versus the I mean, Romeo Julien is a set.

Romeo Julien is a much better movie, so we'll move on. There's one actor in that movie that's really spectacular, but I wanna talk about scripts. So maybe But I but I will say is, like, when when when you look at Hamlet, like, they cut to Danny and he's, like, oh, he talk just do it. Send to him. Hey, Claudius.

You killed my father. Big mistake. Something is won in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet is taking out the trash. Stay thy hand, fair prince. Who say don't fear?

No one's going to tell this sweet prince good night. To be or not to be? Not to be. Because it's like, oh, gosh. He's like a violence junkie.

Dude, he's like he's all about the action. You know? He just wants to and he and he mentions that even to, like, a numbing degree where it's, don't just get to the action. He just likes the Just talk just talk. Just talk.

Yeah. He doesn't care kill the guy. Patton Oswalt. He doesn't care how the thing gets to the thing that he wants. He just wants the thing he wants.

And Oh, yeah. And when he does with that, he said, don't talk just and then he daydreams. And I just think that that whole part is so Does anybody else love the transitions in this movie? I I think the transitions between the movie world, the real world, his fantasies, and daydreams is I think they're so It's not herky jerky. Good.

It's like when he meets when Danny meets his mom at home Yeah. Poor Mercedes rule, single mom, working her ass off Lies for him. Trying to support this kid, lying for him, supporting him, loving him beyond like, unconditionally. You were at the movies again, weren't you? Yeah.

And, like, she there's a level of understanding that she's so good in this movie. There's a level of I just love you so much. Like Yeah. There's a there's some there's a part of your dad in you. Yeah.

Like, something like that. But there's, like, there's, like, deep concern for, dude, you're obvious at the movies until what appeared to be, like, midday, and you walked into class. And they hey. You left. Yeah.

Enough enough to that point where you snuck in, and you were the school called me. You're obviously not in school. Yep. I covered for you, but it's like, god. I'll cut you some slack because your dad passed.

I'll cut you some slack because How long ago did his dad pass? They didn't really they didn't touch a this is like I would even say this is a big piece of this where there was like Is he a cop? Was he a cop? No. They don't even mention much about it.

But I just wonder if he wasn't though. Well, in the initial screenplay, I know that they had talked about there was a lot more, like, his dad was an action junkie. His dad was into movies. Yeah. His dad was into seventies x y z.

And That explains a lot. Yeah. So maybe they could have been done a better job fleshing that out. Like, why is this even a thing? To Ben's point, part of what bugs me about this movie is, like, as much as I love the stuff with death and as much as I love Ian McKellen, it's like, I don't know how much I need that.

Like, that's and that's the main thing for me where the movie decides to carry on. We'll get to that when we get to that. But now Danny's home alone. His mom works nights and days and all hours all the time, and there's a home intruder. Yeah.

Right. And I was a latchkey kid. Mhmm. And that's the thing that's pretty freaky. Again, as I was, you know Yeah.

Wild. Danny was my avatar. Like, that's a wild moment. But the it's so realistic to me when the home intruder is, like, you got junk. You got no VCR.

You get a shit TV. They don't give me $20, and then he leaves. Yeah. And he there is the moment where it's like, you know, the home intruders, like, puts his knife that he, you know, scares his fucking kid with and everything and and ends up getting the key to the handcuffs because he fishes it out of the toilet. But, like, the junky dude that invades their home is like, you can fucking stab me.

I'll throw my back. Challenging him. Oh. Well, what I liked about Dark movie. No.

No. What I liked about that scene and it was short and sweet and easy resolution. But what I loved about that was it really kinda showed that was a perfect tie into what he dug about action. He was he was the badass. He was Jack Slater in that moment.

He was the guy with his back against the wall holding up. Yeah. And then they're like, oh, tough guy. Yeah. Because he just fires back.

He fires back like, oh, I'm gonna punch you. He's very defiant. Because he came fresh from that fucking movie. Mhmm. He kinda came fresh from the daydream.

He was excited. He was like, you could see, he's like, oh, damn. I'm gonna I'm gonna defend my home, my my mom, my house, everything. If you feel it Chase it. We forgot to mention though that Nick, told him to come back to the theater to watch the new to the new Jack Slater.

Jack and Jill is coming out. Be here at 1 AM. Midnight. Yeah. And the way he looked at that standee of, Sam Perez.

Meredith Caprice. Or Meredith, Wilson Bridgette Wilson is Sam Priest. But, but, but he's just like yeah. Just like that. I'll see you later.

That's Danny's only priority. Like, even post, like, going to the cops, and he goes home and watches Looney Tunes. He knows when the shift's over. Oh, yeah. His mom's shift's over.

Yep. He he's watching Looney Tunes and shit at home and, like, bolts to the fucking theater. Yeah. Yeah. This is where Nick puts on his, little weird little magician costume.

His his tight it's his it's his tight, belt or Usher costume. Usher costume. Usher uniform, parsers. Pulls out this ticket, and I actually like the thing where Robert Proski is holding up his, like, right hand, and then he pulls up his left hand where it's like it's not sleight of hand or anything at all. He admits he can't do magic.

He always wanted to. Right. And he's so stoked to meet Houdini who's at his dad's theater at the time. You mean, like, see this hand? Houdini.

Steady as rock. Yeah. But I shoot with this hand. What what I thought was funny about that, that was actually one of the biggest flaws in the movie to me. There are flaws.

It was a little bit much. Houdini? Really? Like, it could like, I feel like if you were to tell me, like It's funny. I don't have an answer.

I don't have a problem with that. I believe I believe that. But but to me, it's like why it's like why couldn't it have been, like, Greg Chirkelton or something like that? Or some some guy in Hamilton in Ontario. Here's the thing for me at least.

Like, I don't mind soft Down Donaldson. Science magic. You know? Like, I fucking watch That's a good justification for me. Watch doctor who.

And, like, you Yes. Exactly. Swallow driver that does whatever the fuck you want it to do. To me from, like, a fantasy standpoint, when you're looking on you standing on the heart versus the 3 point 5. You know, it's the idea of, like, okay, why are we leaning on the corniest, most fucking obvious answer?

Why couldn't it have been this take its magic, I don't know, manic glimmers sometimes? The movie constantly leans into what it is. It never tries to deny what it is. Could come back to this being a movie for kids. And if you're a 12 Identifiable.

If you're a 12, 11 year old kid and you're like, oh, I know the name Houdini, that No. That's not I agree. That's yeah. No. I agree with that too.

Yeah. That's the main thing I think that's tough about the movie at times is there are identifiable things and relatable things depending on your experience. The tonal shifts between the real world and the movie world are jarring. They start to become extremely jarring here where we're introduced to in this fucking amazing push shot as Danny has come back to the movie theater helicopter shot, pardon me, and it's pushing in on this incredible house on, like, the coast of Malibu on a cliff. Oh, yeah.

Which is truly It's truly collapsing. Megadethic. No. You wanna know something funny. I got a fun fact on that one.

I met a guy at a bar tonight. His name was Ben. Ben Burrito? Ben Burrito. Yeah.

Yeah. Ben Burrito. Yeah. Yeah. Ben, Oh, he lives near that house.

No. No. No. He has a family friend that lives over there. Or I don't call it Yep.

Second cousin. I'm not sure. It's his favorite second cousin. But what he mentions was that that he knows where that house is in Malibu and that the coast is eroded. And, most of that most of that, like, cool, column y, Rome area Mhmm.

Gone. It's gone. It's wild. Was that, like, post 94 fires? There's a whole bunch of fires.

Oh, Northridge and all sorts of shit. Well, no. No. Well, yeah. Malibu had an incredible, like, landslide.

Little bit after that. Yeah. Yeah. This to me, the introduction of the bad guys Mhmm. Vivaldi, who is Anthony Quinn.

There are a 1000000 screen legends in this movie for whatever amount of time you wanna give them. I was gonna miss knowing that it was Sir Anthony Quinn. Sir Anthony. Yeah. Absolutely.

I don't think he got that. No. But and then we meet Benedict. Oh, man. And Anthony Quinn is monologuing to Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite second cousin, Art Carney.

Mhmm. The very first lines by Benedict after Vivaldi is trumping how great Benedict is and how fucking wonderful and smart and precise. Benedict's first line about him is after Vivaldi says, easy as cake. Benedict says, easy as pie, you Sicilian schmuck. And right there in the writing, in the first fucking line he says, it's like, oh, this is the bad guy.

Clearly, this is the bad guy. And, obviously, Vivaldi affable. Like, as much as he He he he's right? He's like teasing and, you know, you could tell he's just a bit of a dumbass. But, you know, he's the For sure.

Exactly. It's like it's like with any org chart. Right? You know, he's the guy at the top and the one who's doing the work is take a step aside here. Benedict, what a villain, man.

Like One of the greats. The attention to detail like the sharply dressed suit looks amazing. Beard Dialed. Beards were not big in the 90s. Dialed.

Tight beard, tattoos peeking through. Neck tattoos. Neck tattoos. This is a guy this is a guy to fear. And this is what this movie I feel does really well.

They define these characters. The villain is a villain. You look at the ripper. The ripper is awful to look at. Like, as a kid, that's got the hell out of me.

Yeah. And it's funny. I was even I was talking to my mom on the drive over here about this. She's like, oh, did you and Adrian, my or my oldest watch that? And she was like, I was like, no.

I will not. I'm like Too dark. I'm like, honestly, he gets really, really shaken. Even, like, Ghostbusters answered the call, if, something pops out, he gets a little shaken. Even after viewing 111?

No. Like, we're up to, like, 140. It's fucked. But regardless, like, I I this movie does an incredible job of defining these people and making them The archetypes are clear. Yeah.

Dude Yeah. They make it really clear very early in the movie when Danny gets, you know, the half of the Houdini ticket that the magic clearly is in him. Robert Proski even says, I was always afraid. I was always afraid. And Austin O'Brien, Danny is just excited about the movie.

I think he's even forgotten about the ticket. Like, he doesn't care. His excitement for the movies has superseded this, and he gets pulled in. Well, the dynamite comes out first, which is a cool Yeah. Which is a cool moment.

But before we get to that, super quick, like, what was wild to to me, this is something that stuck out to me, and I wrote a note about this. And this is kind of, like, for a from a continuity standpoint. And maybe this is just, like, callback. This is No. Do it.

Turning the mirror on this. His son died in Jack Slater 3. Yeah. He died. His 10 or 12 year old son.

But it's just but it is that, all right, we pick up, we pick up again. And they very rarely in this movie kinda touch on that. There are some moments where, you know, he cites, like, oh, yeah. Just kill my kid. Ain't no it doesn't matter.

I'm a movie. I'm not even real. Dude, Schwarzenegger's kind of, like, at points, like, monotone deadpan delivery of the things that are really hard that this fictional character is going through are pretty effective. Schwarzenegger is, like, not a terrible actor. He doesn't have terrible timing.

There are a lot of people that I've seen that are considerably worse. There's a reason why he was the biggest box office draw in the world for a while. I feel like I'm at the point with watching Schwarzenegger where I can't even tell I can't tell if I he's good or bad. Like, it's Isn't that a talent? Yeah.

It's just it's just you've seen him so many times where you're just, like, you're just, like, watching him. And in this last Yeah. In this last viewing for for this, like, it's so funny that he's so ubiquitous. Like, he is so doing a Schwarzenegger is such a thing. But to me, what was wild, and this kind of this this kind of spans so many movies where, like, even when we're talking about, like, ice that guy.

And then I like, my brother and I would always go, ice that guy, cone flakes. It sound like you said ice that guy guy, cone flakes. When a cone goes in the back of the other side, I was like, Ice that guy, cone face. What are you trying to say? And then Paul even said today, Ice that guy, to cone a phrase, to coin a phrase.

It's his thick accent. But even like true lies, this is something my brother and I always say. It's like, you know, like, when he has the gloves. Damaged kiosk slayer. I know he was Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. All bad guys are the same. The cool, the, blah, blah, blah, blah. We always thought that he was talking about, like, Arab gangs, the accord, the, blah, blah, blah, blah.

He says, they're cool. They're badasses. They're cool. They're. Like, goddamn it.

You've got to speak Arnold. It's like sometimes No. A lot of the time, there's so many times in this movie where I'm like, sir. Right. Sure.

On the subject of speaking Arnold, that means you speak eighties action. Mhmm. And before Danny falls into the movie, then the moment is Mhmm. Jack Slater, Arnold Schwarzenegger, finds his second cousin strapped to a bomb in his house, and 2 officers are running toward the house, so which are approximately lethal weapon 3 arrow where Ricks and Mercat get busted down to beat cops. They are beat cops for part of that movie.

They are traffic patrol cops on foot, and Slater goes into the house and he pulls a note, some note cards off of his cousin. And they count down in very beautiful font, 54321. Yeah. It's kinda funny. House blows.

I don't give a fuck about the logic of that. I don't care. It's like Skyfall with Javier Bardem. How do you know to put that bomb there to make the train fall when he was running I don't care. Just let me enjoy it.

The second cousin's house blows up, and we get our 1st direct super direct, in my opinion, super meta reference. He's okay. Lantern wound. Wolf cop's dead. 2 days to determine.

I was 4 week I was 1 week from retirement or 2 days from retirement, which is literally McBain in The Simpsons. And the Saturday morning. Go on. Live a little, Skoi. No.

Thank you. Got me a future, partner. I'm 2 days away from retirement. My daughter's graduating from college. Little Susie's going up.

And as soon as we nail Mendoza, my old lady and I are gonna sail around the world like we always wanted. We just christened a boat. Yes, sir. Everything's gonna be just perfect. And you get the mus the lethal weapon music.

Yeah. It I think it's just so fucking brilliant. This shit about Jack Slater's ex wife and the shrew, the tape that he plays to throw off the ex wife. It's like Holly it's like Holly with, John McClain. Yeah.

Exactly. Just entertaining that piece of it. And and and And LA police stations. Right. Right.

And what I love about that is immediately, Danny Madigan was like, he's fine. Both cops dead. Minor flush 1. He just he said then he says, again, painting the picture. He knows this shit.

Yeah. And then this is when we get to the scene where he enters the movie. Oh, and the the the crazy fucking gun battle and the amount of dynamite, fire power, ACDC big gun and the car jumping over semis and bridges and under and overpasses. And again, the movie is just, like, we don't give a fuck about logic or reason. This is a fantasy movie.

Like it doesn't mat this is a 10 to 12 year old boys fantasy. Yeah. Yeah. Like either either you're on board or you're not. Either you can tap into that or you can't.

Then the dynamite I mean, the the ticket flickers, and then the dynamite enters the movie theater. Oh, that's yeah. That's what pulls him in. This is when this is when, you know, it's like, wait a minute. He's trying to wrap his head around all this, and the explosion brings him into the picture.

In the jacket. Not that I actually have an issue with this. It's more of just a question. Mhmm. What does the dynamite do?

Brings him into the movie. No. No. No. I get that.

Uh-huh. But it doesn't actually blow up. Right? No. Right.

And it it's funny because there's some continuity there too because because folks just popped at the screen later on with, and we we don't see how Benedict and, Tanaka get over here. But, I mean, Ingmar Bergman, with with with with McKellen with death, he just goes to the screen. Steps out. Yeah. Yeah.

So, I mean, that's more that to me, that's more of an impactful, like, transition. Totally. Because it's just Yeah. The I've watched a live while you're there. Yeah.

But what I think what this movie does incredibly is he's in there. He's looking up. It's dead silent. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's like Transitions. Great transitions. So you hear it. Like, it's it's one of those he's trying to assess what's going on. He sees the palm trees.

He knows he's moving. Gun pops over. Who the hell are you? And Schwarzenegger driving without looking backwards. It takes hours of practice.

And to apply logic to the dynamite thing, let's say the dynamite really went off, which is like when we get back to the theater later. Clearly, it didn't. But Danny's running toward the screen, and it's like you can almost say if, like, he jumped or got thrown by the explosion through the screen before he got incinerated, he got thrown into this parallel. But You're prepared to live. So Yeah.

I mean, I don't really care. It's like tornado takes Dorothy to Oz. Sure. And India is truly that. It's sort of a chains wizard to man, scarecrow, lion.

Go to the pipe. Just sort of Yeah. So the LA police station is, like, what you'd expect in a movie. It's gorgeous. It's in a plaza.

It has valet parking. Things that you've seen in other movies previous to this. Cop. Like, it's very fancy Lethal weapon. Yeah.

And Which is not if you've ever been in a police station Not at all. In LA. It feels like you're the DMV. Yes. Just like any other police station anywhere.

Yeah. And Robert Patrick shows up. Danny DeVito shows up. Yeah. Sharon Stone shows up.

All Colleen Camp shows up, in the fight with West Virginia. A lot of leather. Colleen Camp is the man? She's the one who's who's arguing with the animated cap. Don't get him.

Yep. Oh, get out. People wearing a rattle down the wall. Cast members. A lot of, leather.

People in leather, pleather. Yeah. He's very nice. Clear plastic. All the time.

We immediately understand the that the lieutenant is this repeating character that we've seen in Beverly Hills Cop and Loaded Weapon and the dynamic of the relationship. And Danny is over the shoulder of Jack Slater as the lieutenant and him are going after each other, mostly lieutenant screaming, every attack every attack you told me. He's saying he's gonna jack my butt hole and donut hole and shit. And then Danny kinda reveals, like, by the way, I've seen everything about your lives unbeknownst to them because I've seen it in movies. How do you explain that to somebody where it's he seems to know an awful lot about us.

Yeah. Terminator 2 starring Sylvester Stallone. Right. And and Yeah. Go to the Blockbuster.

What I thought was, like, the the attention to detail, the things that have, like, stuck out with this, like, in that very scene where Danny pipes up. He talks about previous Slater movies. Yeah. To me, it's like from from such a from such a weirdo who likes to know more information about stuff, I wanna see I wanna see Jack Slater 2. Like, what's winning have to do with that?

Like, he's talking about a Jack Slater 1. You told your dad about that? Like but when he took I'll lose it. Yeah. But when they're talking about there's a bit of a story, and, Danny's explaining, wait a minute.

You, Decker, Jack, you guys love each other. Remember Decker, when your wife cheated on you at the circus midget, and you told everybody you were taking him to the diphtheria clinic? Like, how making fun of this genre and melodrama in general. Yeah. It's like, you told your dad about that?

The fact that there there's this he knows about the inner workings and movie worlds kind of beget vulnerability because of the nature of a film. And I think with this, like, it's like, hey, he mentioned an obviously just awful situation that's like, really? Jack Slater 2 talked about Decker's wife was cheating on him with the circus midget? Yeah. And just obvious parody.

But I feel like, you know, for all all we know, Jack Slater 2 had a sick vulnerable moment where Jack saved his life, saved his bacon, and he was gonna get fired for blowing up a dozen men. It's like, hey, remember I took care of you. Remember? Remember Dana? It's just so funny because it references shit that we don't know.

Well, it's it's well, it references shit that we do know too. That's the brilliance is Mhmm. When they go to Blockbuster video in this next scene and Austin O'Brien's like, none of the women here are fucking relatable or make any sense. Why do you have a why is it where is it? 555 number.

Like, there could only be a 1999,000 versions of that. That's why we have area codes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and, like, it's like Angie Everhard, super model who had her lace insured for, like, multi 1,000,000 of dollars works behind the counter.

I don't think so. And I this is also when Arnold, I think, is really being Arnold where he's just, like, flirting and being a total fucking ham. I really like him in this scene. You know what I bet loves this movie is, Phil Lord Phil Lord and Chris Miller. Oh, I hope so.

That would make a lot of sense. A lot, like, in 21 Jump Street and 22 Jump Street. You can see a lot of, like, comments on the genre in a similar way that this that this does. I agree. Yeah.

Similar comments on the genre. This is the big through line through the movie right now is that Danny is trying to prove to Jack that this is all bullshit. Yeah. It's a movie. There are no stakes here.

It's not a big deal. And Danny is trying to do what Jack calls, this is not one of your movie proofs. Yeah. And they show up at a house and Danny just says, it's a house that looks like that. Actually, exactly like that.

The bad guys are in there. And Shax later being like thousands of hours of psychology and the thoughts of the criminal and all this, and all I had to do is drive around for a little while and say, the bad guys are in there. Dude, what what stood out to me with that scene in particular, because I'd always thought, I'm like, Danny's just trying to prove to him. It's like, what what? I've seen Vivaldi.

I've seen Benedict. Yes. I know where that shit is. Correct. That's the movie within that movie.

But in your viewing of the movie, of course, he easily found it in Malibu. There were no identifying marks of that. When you saw that establishing shot of the ocean on the cliff It's the other side of the house. Backyard. He didn't see the front of that ship.

Side of the house. He didn't see it for a sneaky thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But You know? That is but that's movie on our end of it. He doesn't change the if if we were to go see the movie, the movie still goes as it were, like, as it were made. Right?

He's not changing the movie. Right? I would I would think so. Right? I don't think he's changing.

I don't think so. I think he's changing the movie. Of a parallel universe. And you could almost, like, say this is all in his head. It could be.

I know that that's a theory with a lot of people. Oh, is it really? Oh, yeah. Because he's already shown the proven that he does daydream. Oh, yeah.

Sure. Yeah. Yep. You know, that he did bring that to life. Yeah.

He's got a vibrant imagination. He's also at the very end, I noticed that when he's leaving the theater Yeah. The lobby isn't destroyed. Like, you can see it through the Oh. That might just be a a filmmaker just continuity issue.

I I didn't notice that at all. But I was like, oh, maybe it's not there's not, like, a bus in there or anything like that. Because he and Nick sweetly walk out, and he talks about more Houdini shit. Yeah. Yeah.

I also this exchange now where the bad guys at India and Danny and Jack go up to the door, and they encounter professor Toru Tanaka as the number 3 guy, the number 1 guy to Benedict. To the henchmen. Right. The doorman to the henchmen. This exchange between Schwarzenegger and dance Mhmm.

And part of it is a huge credit to dance, they have a very snappy back and forth that's so dry and so well edited. With the bright red color. It it's basically, Jack shows up at these people's door and says, we're looking for the drug dealer of the house, please. Yeah. It's a lovely day, and we're out killing drug dealers.

We're out killing drug dealers. And I I remember when I put it together that Tywin Lannister was the guy in this movie. Oh, yeah. It was like a moment because Wait. Who's that?

Obsessed Chucky Chucky Tango. Obsessed with the books, obsessed with the show, Game of Thrones fan through and through. And so the, the realization for me was like, oh, what? Fuck. Like, I'd I I had not made that connection until I was watching Game of Thrones.

Yeah. That's awesome. When in that moment, in the terms of fantasy and expanding the universes and metashit and whatever, when Charles Dance says, this exchange they have is legendary. The thing about Charles Dance saying, you will appear outside of several k nine erect eye because he's got these dogs where they're doing pyramids and all the guard dogs and shit. I love that shit.

Cereal red suits you? So good. Oh, I'm like I don't understand how they could have this idea that they would have had Alan Rickman in that reprising the role. It's not that's not a great idea. The great idea is in the rewrite of the new guy.

Yeah. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. Thank goodness they made the right decision. Right?

I mean, I love Alan Rickman. Give me Alan Rickman. Oh, of course. You could see Alan Rickman doing that, but just dance just kills it in this. Oh, dude.

Him saying, or you and Toto can go back to the land of Oz. The the amount of Wizard of Oz references in this movie are crazy. As many as Twisters? I don't know if it's as many considering, like, lion, tin man. Yeah.

What's funny about that is, like, the Wizard of Oz references, the idea of entering in a fantasy world. That was something that even Schwarzenegger even cited in those interviews that's just like, I like the idea of being transported to something that could never be. It says, you know Yes. That that to me is what draws me into this movie. That concept of being drawn, like, sucked into this movie.

Now. A 100%. Yeah. Cool. Like, that that is what the movie that's what the concept of this movie, similar to Pleasantville, is what is what really draws me like, that that's such an awesome idea.

Go into the movie that you love. Yeah. And now you're living in the movie lot. And that's part of the thing for me, and I don't know if this is for you, Dustin, also, but it's like, I love a lot of those early, especially international star martial arts, kung fu, gunfight movies. And this movie saying, we know that what we've been doing for the last, like, 15 or 20 years is, like, done.

We're transitioning toward a more less than 10 years from this is born identity, which I think is, like, the big switch. Sure. But this this movie is just so fucking ahead of its time, and I I wanna give it its flowers. Yeah. And when we meet Jack's daughter in this next moment of the movie, and Jack going over it's the exposition of Jack going over, hey.

This money that's here in the house, it's counterfeit. Yeah. This is what my daughter does and who she is, and this is her big monster truck. And so, like, the exposition is so Oh, yeah. Casual and so well delivered.

Going off just real quick about what you said, I think the thing because, like, for me, if you look at my, like, top, I don't know, 5, top 10, there's not a lot of action movies in there. Oh, fair. Yeah. And I think that that might be one of the things that, like, nostalgic you could call Raiders action adventure, but I think, like, other than that, I think it's, like, the action genre has never been the thing that I'm, like, as tied to. It's the idea of, like, funneling down to things that you're into.

It's like, you know Yeah. Action action was always something that was really important to me, action and comedy. Totally. To to many people. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And it is that idea of, you know, making I I even say making light making light of this and taking away some of the seriousness, some of the gravity of it. You find humor in this. You know, I think that It's hard not to.

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Just even the this ambush where Benedict and his dude show up as Jack and Danny are at I love the Jack's place. And Jack has fucked off. He's like, I'm leaving for a while.

The Joker 3 that she is supposed to answer the door and kiss this fresh one. It's easy. It's a and they do it they do the rule 3 and it's well done. Right? And that The comedy rule of 3 is that you it's a setup and then there's a middle and then there's a prestige.

Right? The prestige. And it's supposed to be, like, it's not funny if you just do it twice. Uh-huh. You gotta do it 3 times.

See, like, as a director in theater or whatever, you like you just you gotta hit that 3rd moment. Otherwise, it just doesn't play. Mhmm. And that just is a universal rule. So in this, it's like he's the first one.

Yeah. Charles Dance is the second one, and then we finally get Skeezy. We deliver Skeezy and Slater drops on it. Yeah. Well and and as the kid who always thought he was the smartest person in the room and still fancies himself that at times Yeah.

Austin O'Brien makes the conscious decision while they're being ambushed and he's captured and doesn't know that miss Wilson Sampras has gotten free and whatever yet, he remembers that Jack tells him, oh, no. It looks like real money. Right? The funny money I told you about? Yeah.

It burn it turns funny colors when you burn it. Mhmm. And it just so happens that it goes the way the kid wants, and Charles Dance says, burn the money, and he says, do not play games with grown ups. You will get hurt. And it burns a funny color, and Jack sees it and knows to be on alert.

And, again, it's one of those it's a payoff where the kid through this point has been annoying like he's supposed to be when you're a 10 or 12 year old. He's hyperactive like a 10 or 12 year old. He's obsessed with movies and avatars that he can project himself on, especially like hyper alpha males, which makes a lot of sense. Yeah. But him doing this thing of throwing the funny money is such a fucking smart move.

The action set piece is great. And it's funny because his eyes dart back and forth. Like, do they believe me kind of thing? Yeah. Back and forth to the money.

And that was funny. There was something that they had mentioned as far as, like, the script, rewrites. Initially, Danny Madigan was supposed to be 15, a little more worldly. And in fact, it was supposed to be a lot more diabolical with Nick was the movie was the projector projectionist who was getting him into the movie to get him trained to be a killer. Woah.

Yeah. Isn't that wild? But now they brought this down, and then they're like, no. No. Let's make him 12.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's make them 12. Let's make them It's a kid's movie. Yeah.

Exactly. And it's funny. And You can't say fuck. Exactly. Exactly.

He writes it down. He writes it down. And you could say But you could say it once. But you could say it once. Sure.

But that's the thing is, like, a a 10 to 12 year old kid is not going to let go. This is why I was, like, watching it at least this time and seeing, like, why maybe I'm doing, like, a psychological deep dive on my friend Paul. But we've been doing this podcast for a while now, and I feel like we we know we know each other's interests pretty well at this point. And I know how much Paul was a latchkey kid. I know how much Paul loves action movies.

And that's why I, like, watched it this time and saw, like, oh, what an amazing idea for Paul to see himself be be drawn into the genre that he loves so much and tear apart all of the little, like, tropes of it, within and be the The movie does that. Right. But be the person who's like, I've seen everything that you're doing at this point. Right. I know what's gonna happen Don't just don't try to justify your shit rating.

I'm not justifying my rating. I'm saying why I know you love it. There's dudes. No. I'm not saying why my rating is what it is.

I know. I'm saying why I know you love it. Ben, I know. Okay. I know.

If you know me so well, then tell me why my rating's at where it's at. Because not only because you're not as versed or enamored or nostalgically tied to action movies in general, I think also because there's a light level of I think what some people could determine as disrespect to the audience, where there's a level of, like, you just have to deal with this. The this whole thing, making any movie of any level of success or effectiveness or whatever, this whole thing is Sully. It's all Sully. And I think this movie hits that on almost every level where it's like even Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark is Sully, as well as Spotlight, as well as David Cronenberg's crash, as well as the Paul Haggis crash, as well this whole thing is silly.

The movie making industry is silly. Sure. And I I think that's part of the reason why a lot of people were struck in a negative way by it where it's like, you understand this is all just as, like, a distraction to a degree. Right? And there's a degree for me that that's why, like, this borders on high art.

And it's funny. I was trying to find some comps at the time for this kind of movie. You know? Oh, there's nothing. No.

No. No. But I I it's funny. I I always I look back to it and it was it took me looking back and just realizing that loaded weapon 1 fell in the same year. Yeah.

Well, I found that funny. And I was a big fan of the Naked Gun series. Sure. You know, where it is This is more Airplane than so many other things. It it it is.

It is. But I think because it's not so blatant with its comedy. Like, Loaded Weapon 1 is, oh, Christ, really? With so much of it and Naked Gun. As much as I adore it, as much as it's like a warm hug, it's like, oh, Christ, really?

Like Yeah. You know, the the set them up, knock them down idea. I feel like this is just serious enough that, you know, it's a little more deadpan than than than expected for if you look at, like, your, Tim and Eric has kind of ushered in this era of being dry, being deadpan. Eric Andre even has over a over the top. Of course.

But it is that piece where it's like, I can just deliver this to you, and you know it's hilarious. Yeah. But it's not obvious. Well and you and, again, you just have to deal with it. You have to process it, compartmentalize it in whatever order.

And I the this is how serious I am about this movie to a degree. The Matrix owes a shitload to this movie. The Truman show owes a shitload to this movie. Wes Craven's new nightmare owes a shitload to this movie. The entire Marvel franchise owes an absolutely crazy amount to this movie.

Not a and maybe some of the multiverse shit clearly, not maybe, in Marvel predates this, but the execution in this movie is really, really good. Mhmm. As well as a movie that Ben I know loves at least the English language version, Abre Lo Soho slash Vanilla Sky. Mhmm. It was a shitload to this movie.

This movie is I think I said scream already. It's really fucking brave. It's really trailblazing. It's doing a thing really effectively that no one had done yet and very few have done as well. If if I could interject on that, like, I was I kept thinking about that as I have seen this as an adult.

I love movies. Paul, we you and I have talked about this a lot where it's like when I look at Letterboxd, when I look at things that I can do to kind of, like, cut in and get the deep cuts, that is me for music. I'm obsessed with music. I'm forever getting after the deep cuts, getting hey. You're a big fan of Kenny Loggins.

I can tell you 25 things that you would love. I feel like this is a Loggins at the Saban, man. What's that? Loggins at the Saban? At the Saban, man.

You know? That's how it is. It's how we did and how we do. But it is that idea that, you know, you think about your the greatest albums of all time. You think about, like, Pet Sounds from the Beach Boys.

Right? At that time, it was so chided. It was like, you guys were making these hits. You guys were making these Total Recalls. You were making these trailers, these Terminators.

You did Pet Sounds. And You got that last action hero. Deeply chided. And you hear Arnold talk about this, like, how much affinity he has for this and for the story he wanted to tell. And I even feel like he's suffered from it a bit too.

Like, when you hear him Oh, yeah. Whereas, like, McTiernan's like, this is the worst experience I've had in the beer and Rollerball. In the biz. Yeah. And Oh, really?

And, even even I mean, just to cut in, I'm just gonna get in my 2¢ about this guy. Like, Austin O'Brien, I feel like, does an amazing job without He's so good. Like He's an annoying 10 or 12 year old kid that's obsessed with movies. Exactly. If you're gonna get Elijah Wood or whatever.

But I feel like having a guy that didn't have so many roles. Like and in interviews with Austin O'Brien, he even talks about how much fun he had on the set. He said there's a lot of stress, but he was like, silly string fights with Arnold, silly string fights with f marie Abraham. That's awesome. I'm like, that is so unreal.

Like, they made a a great experience for him. Fucking when he says, like, when he writes it on the pad and walks up to Arnold and says, just say this word. Yeah. That's how a fucking 10 or 12 year old kid approaches that. They're kind of annoying.

They're kinda pushy. They're kinda they're overconfident, so on and so forth. And he's not gonna say it. No. He's not gonna say it.

He's gonna get in trouble. Is a movie. But they this house gets blown up because dust and vengeance is frequent McTiernan collaborator who is in Die Hard 1 and Die Hard 3. I'm forgetting the name of the actor. I apologize.

Yeah. Who shows up and blows up the whole house. But Jack gets fired as a result of this. And Jack and Danny put together this whole Leo Lafarte Vivaldi thing and that this is all a big fake and that some nerve gas that was stolen, unbeknownst to anything before this in the movie, that this dead body is stuffed with nerve gas and they are going to a rooftop funeral to diffuse this big fart bomb. And we've already met John Practice, Jack Slater, guy who, Jack Slater saved his life, Phenom.

F berry f berry Abraham. The original screen pro the screen script screenwriters had said that they had extensive research on on action movies for this movie or for the screenplay. Well, clearly. I know, but they said certain they had to hit certain things on the checklist. Is there a Vietnam is there a Vietnam war vet friend?

Oh my god. It's one of them. They went through the checklist. Finger to turn on a fart bomb, one of them? Oh, god.

I don't know. But because that's This is this is one this is the part of the movie where this is where they lost Sysco. This is where they lost me a little bit. The Leo Lafart piece where I love it. It does bridges the gap because, you know It feels like a part 4.

Yeah. The fact that they that they put the mobsters in there, the original folks that did the screenplay didn't like that. Like, mobsters, this has nothing to do with action. But to me, it's it's a game. Have guns though.

They all have guns. They do all have guns, but where it's kind of Arnold does his all his own stunts. He talks about being on that wrecking ball. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. This is the first this is the first he says, this is the first time that he's done all of his own I love that, Austin O'Brien says, like, I can't drive. I can't do this throughout the movie. And, of course, as he's the the sidekick, the comic relief from in the movie world, he can operate this crane. Exactly.

Which he keeps running around waving a gun and everybody's like, oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's a movie. But now we know Yeah.

Post this amazing Arnold stunt and getting dumped in the La Brea tar pits, which he wipes himself off with 2 paper towels Yeah. Oh, yeah. From the tar. Because, of course, when you're in a movie, you're never and you're a star. You're never wet.

You're never uncomfortable or cold or sticky. Austin O'Brien and Arnold go to the hotel to figure out the whole thing figure out whatever. And this is where we get the f Murray Abraham reveal. Mhmm. Right?

Or was that just before that? That was that was before the That's before the But Whisker saves their ass. Yeah. Whisker saves their ass, but, yeah, they walk around the to the service elevator that doesn't exist. We all know.

Yeah. We've all been to that Right. Long Beach Hyatt. We all know. And John McToonan reuses his elevator shot that he uses in Die Hard and Die Hard With A Vengeance where there's just a point of view shot of somebody falling.

And it's so good. It's so effective in the movie. The slow mo and the helicopter and the whole thing, that that whole it's funny and flipping for me. It's funny. Elevator elevators and Arnold.

I I kept I kept watching this movie and it was the I kept thinking about the cliche that last action hero crawled so true lives could walk. Like, my god, man. Because was that not his next flick? It was. Yeah.

So it's the idea of, like, oh my god. The humor, the bombastic everything. Sure. Are you sure that Last Action Hero didn't run so True Lies Could Walk? Because that's how I feel.

I feel strongly about Eraser, if you wanna Okay. You won't Can we can we gang up on Dustin now? Oh, no. That was a total lie. True lies is actually my I just want to be a game of action.

But what I do love is, okay, you know, he wipes himself clean with a taw. Yeah. And then, his daughter comes up. Yeah. Her monster truck.

Oh, yeah. And and then at that point, what I love about it, Danny even calls out, like, what is even happening? How did she even know we were here? Yes. This is like, how does this Yes.

If you watch enough action movies. Come on, man. You can't. You know. Right, Ben?

Right? And I believe I believe he says, like, didn't you say it's a movie? Like, he says something, he calls out. This is a movie. It's a movie.

And then and then they, you know, naturally, alright, they have they have evaded that and they had to go to Tony Vivaldi's Malibu mansion. And fucking Benedict just shoots him as he's had one too many incorrect, like, analogies or examples where Vivaldi says, you do a 360 on me, and Benedicte is like, a 180 and fucking shoots him. Yeah. And because the bloodbath didn't work out, and you could tell he was being insulted at the at the hotel. Oh, yeah.

You stick around and wait for the wait for Leola Fart to blow up and just see what happens and tell me what happens. So Come back afterwards. So this is where the movie hits an absolute, like, intravenous heroin level. It it is at 1 hour 23 minutes and 58 seconds. Chucky dance Goes into has the ticket.

So I'm pinpointing why this movie is at a 3 for me. K. What's that? As I said, it runs too long. Yeah.

The second or however you wanna mark it at this point It's like 2 acts. 3rd act. Yeah. The the the stuff with the stuff on the roof and all that sequence, it ultimately doesn't play into either character's arcs. Whose?

Either either Arnold's or the kids. Okay. You don't think that rooftop ending plays into either? I mean, if you're looking at the thematics of what each character like, it does in terms of the movie that they're Arnold's having to relive Jack Slater is reliving his greatest trauma. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

You're talking about another sequence. I'm talking about the moment we just talked about. Okay. The rooftop funeral. We've left the funeral.

We've left That whole that whole, climax? Yeah. Everybody with the guns missing and stuff isn't funny to you? Or It's funny. Yeah.

I'm talking I'm saying that it's not it's it's not important to the 2 characters. What's what's important is that that is that we get to this moment where we're going into our world. So you feel like that whole scene is just kind of unnecessary and doesn't I feel I I feel like that scene drives us to that part where I'm not saying it's not I'm saying that that whole moment can be truncated. I agree. I agree.

And to me, it is the weakest part of the movie, the Leo Lafartre funeral piece. I mean, it's the movie runs like It's gonna pass gas for 2 hours. The movie runs over 2 hours. And I think if it were, like, just under 2 hours, it would be a sweet spot for me. I I don't disagree, and we've talked a little bit about the thing that doesn't, like, work one of the 2 things that doesn't work for me, and I'll leave the second thing on the on the table here.

But Charles Dance has the ticket now. I love this He has the half of the ticket. Love it. He addresses the camera. Yeah.

It's great. He's talking about the power he has. When he when he has the ticket, have you guys seen the reflection? You can see the crew in the mirror. Oh, really?

It's intentional. Movie. Oh, interesting. It's intentional. You can see that.

It's pretty And Charles Dance just kind of, like, understanding what this opens up and how intelligent this bad guy is. This is another part of the reason why not using Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber Yeah. Is so much better using this new villain. Yeah. And, like, I'm so fucking smart.

I can figure all this out. We we don't nobody has to write their way around or out of this or a prequel. This is this is when the movie picks back up for me. Yeah. I agree.

Because I I feel like I've said before, I'm like, oh, it just keeps going and I get bored. I'm like, no. That's not true. I actually really like when it goes into our world. I think that's when it's like When Jack throws Benedict to the wall and he goes through the wall, that effect holds up.

And a lot of the effects in our world when he shoots the guy Yeah. And then he, like, is sitting there timing, waiting for the police, And then he, like, shoots more, and he goes, I've just killed a man. And someone's like, would you shut up down there? Yeah. That that was, like, even more so today where I'm like, oh, yeah.

The cops don't won't They don't give a shit. They won't come to you. Not at all. Like, this again, this is, like, a district, an area where it's like the cops are like, this is all, like, sex workers and perverts. Like, we're not we don't care.

And the the ticket waking up for Benedict again because he's inspired by things that are bigger, different, more interesting, crazier than him. Mhmm. I I like that the ticket picks up on his energy. Mhmm. And it makes sense that Danny and Jack bust in.

They know where this guy is. Like, all of the writing is making sense. And, again, when they go into the real world and they explain very quickly the rules, Jack breaks a window and it's like, fuck, my hand hurts. Jack, you can't do that. They steal a cab.

They do this and that. The movie logic he's used to is gone. Bullets don't explode when you shoot them. It's the Yeah. It's like the checkered cab doesn't explode.

Dude, when he throws the guy into the ice cream truck early in the movie and it explodes for no reason, I die every time I watch this movie. It's hilarious. And it's funny. And and, Ben, to to what you said, when people talk about this movie dragging, that whole funeral scene could have been, like you said, so much Half the length picture. I think By all means, Ed.

I I think that I've always thought about why is it why does it feel like it runs too long? Because, like, we talk about Airplane, which I love, Naked Gun, which I love. Those movies are, what, like, hour and a half? Yeah. Right.

You know what I'm saying? Hour 40. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, like, there's just some this part of the movie where it's, like, a movie It's pretty self indulgent.

Yeah. We're still going? Yeah. We're still going? What why?

Yeah. The I I think having Danny be part of the action and actually have him saving Jack. And, yeah, they could've they could've they could've cut that all of that up so quick. Dude, when they go into the real world and Jack's like, holy shit. What the fuck?

And they get into the game of chicken Mhmm. With Benedict in the checker cab Yeah. And they're in the Mercury Sable, and he kicks Danny out. Yeah. And they get into the game of chicken.

That crash where the Mercury and the taxi crash into each other is so fucking effective and brutal and visceral. Because it doesn't explode and go off. No. And they just lift off of the ground both, like, 6, 6 and a half feet, whatever it is. And when Jack gets out of the car and says 1989 Mercury say, drive aside airbag, standard.

I like that he's just like, no. I'm also just, like, smart. I'm real world smart. In his world, he's strong. Character has common sense.

In in his world, he's good at what he does. And it translates. And It doesn't translate to everything. No. You know?

Well, the the blow of after that car crash Yeah. And Benedict's gone, Tohru Tanaka's gone. The the cab's empty. They've used the ticket. They're out of there.

And now Danny and Jack are seeing they wanna go into different movies and pick out different villains. This is the thing I'll touch on in a second. But Arnold, when he sees the billboard that says Arnold Schwarzenegger is Jack Slater, that's a nice little performance piece from him of, like, I don't matter. I don't exist. I'm irrelevant.

Everything that Danny said was I'm not real. Stuff. Yeah. It all hits. Yeah.

And the fact that, oh, yeah. Just throw my kid over the side of a building. That'll that'll get the ratings. You know? Just Yeah.

No idea. That. Who cares? Someone just killed his kid. Somebody just killed his kid because you could make more money on the movies.

Yeah. And it's so funny. You wonder how much slice of life that is for Arnold. You know, where it's like, how much of the story is he trying to tell about his own personal life of, like, yeah. Yeah.

Just poke holes in my x y z. You know? Shoot. How much of that is him talking about the fame that he's had? Poking holes.

Did we skip over the thing where they go into Jack's apartment? Jeez. How'd you know there was a guy in there? There's always a guy in there. It's brilliant.

And all he does Brilliant. All he does is change his coat. Yeah. Because because his closet's all the same. Shit.

Yeah. But he It's like looking in my closet. Other jeans and other shirts, but he doesn't change any of that. He Does he No. Just the Just the coat.

Just the jacket. I noticed that. He just changes fucking $800 leather jacket. Yeah. It's even again, the meta things in this movie, Danny in the car crash in the alley, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jack Slater, he references fucking Die Hard, a John McTiernan fucking movie.

Wait. What was that part? I don't remember that. He Danny says, like, this isn't Die Hard or something like that. He says something from or about Die Hard.

Oh. And the movie just pulls no punches about any of this shit. Yeah. I love that. Even in the moment when Knack Knack Nick and Jack meet, and Nick is, of course, like, oh, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Oh my god. It's so good to meet you. And Austin O'Brien in a beautiful little performance piece, very subtle, he kinda goes, to Robert Proski, to Nick. And he's like, oh my god, sir. It's such an honor to meet a fictional character.

I've never meet. A that's such a great piece of writing. In bus stop. And Nick laments on the fact that he didn't have the magic, he didn't utilize the magic, he had the magic He was afraid. I was too frightened.

You know, that idea that, you know, I thought I could like, Monroe and bus stop, all the funny you could have had in the past. Yeah. And then he knew and I was, oh, and mister Schwarzenegger, I enjoy your films as well. Yeah. True.

Oh, and your films are incredible as well. Classy old guy. Who you think he is. You know? It's the The the fact that Austin O'Brien indicates that's not Arnold Schwarzenegger, the ticket works Yeah.

Without saying a word. Yeah. And it's really effective from a kid actor that a performance that a lot of people have shit on. They've seen Yeah. They've used a second seashell, and it's like, that's not necessary.

Yeah. No no no less than Sean White. Really solid performance from a kid who is supposed to be a 10 to 12 year old boy that's got ADHD and is overexcited and all this other shit. And the Robert Prosky thing of, like, if y'all met as an adult grown up person, somehow in a fantasy world met a fictional character, wouldn't you hope to have the wherewithal to react like he did? Sir, this is an honor for me.

I've never met a fictional character in my life. Yes. Like, that's that's so fucking classy. Yeah. That's so classy.

And then Jack Slater is still in his lament, in his shock of like, oh, yeah, fictional character. Yeah. See how my life has sucked, bro. My kid's dead. My wife hates it.

Right. And I mean, going back to Austin O'Brien, it's like I don't know if it's equal parts nostalgia or just rewatching again, but I just really think he did a great job at Me too. Role. And Shane Black was quoted as saying, I'm not sure at one point in time that casting Austin O'Brien was one of the great misfires of western culture. Like, he's well directed.

Do that to a kid. How do you do that to a kid first off, man? I can do that to That's some Jonathan Brando shit too. I've seen some kids in movies that we've done on this podcast that I would, you know, not shower with praise. He is far he is He is very good.

Far from the yeah. He's he's he's fine. He's serviceable in his part. I don't understand. He's annoying, and he's supposed to be.

I don't even find him annoying. That's the that's the thing. I just find him very weird. Avatar. He, like, he he he seems like a kid.

I I Yeah. I I didn't even know this was an this was a thing that was, like, a zag, guys. So It's so weird. Yeah. Like, you could look at any you could look at the kid from Jumanji.

You could look at the kid from Jurassic Park. You could look at a lot of these. Aren't those both Joseph Mazzella? Are they both? I don't remember.

Probably not. Oh. No. They're not. Tim Wright.

Tim from Jurassic Park is They're 2 different yeah. You know? Tim from Jurassic Park is. Joseph Mazzella. Yeah.

Yeah. The other kid is not. Yeah. He turns into. I do.

So I'm I'm ready to make my admission. What do you got? This is the big flaw for the movie with me. The first time and maybe another time I saw the movie, the red herring, the the goose, the the whole, like, you forgot about this, didn't you? The torn ticket and half of the ticket being in Benedict's possession Yeah.

Mhmm. I don't forget about that after, you know, 1 or 2 viewings, but there's another half of the ticket somewhere else. In in inside there And so much of the movie hinges on that. Yeah. It's out of the box.

So much of it. Do you feel like you you weren't taken at that point? Like, that that wasn't as much of an No. It's not at all. It's one of those things where it's like on a first viewing, especially as a kid who's like, I don't need to apply logic or reason to this Mhmm.

And I'm so caught up in guns and colors. And by the way, I gotta say really quick while I, take the floor like I do. The man, the way that New York Real World and LA Movie World are lit and textured Yeah. So fucking perfectly and beautifully. And, again, where there's, like, a tonal shift that you can feel Mhmm.

That to me is not upsetting. It just adds to the effectiveness of the movie. Like, way to go. Camera department, directors, all sort of camera, everybody. Yeah.

But now we get one of my favorite characters in the movie, Mercedes Ruehl, as Irene, Danny's mom, is back because now Jack and Danny are in the real world, and they got nowhere else to go. So they go to fucking Danny's house. Home. Apartment 3 d. At this point, the way, not unintentional.

At this point, the movie is a fish out of water story. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's there's a transition.

Yeah. We gotta one person was the fish out of the water the first act. The second act, it's like Yeah. I mean, I feel like the first is, like, Alice in Wonderland down the rabbit hole. Right?

Yeah. And now and now we're like Fish out of water. And now we're like mad hatters joined us in the real world. Yeah. And so there's, like, this fish out of water of, like, we believably take this world, Danny's world, as the world.

Yeah. Yeah. As our world. It's brutal and evil and mean and dark. And that's very bad.

That's that's the part of this movie that I really like, and I think I wish that it got there quicker. Yeah. Because the the conceit of the of the movie world, like, I get it. I'm, like, okay. Yeah.

I I get it. I get I get this action. And and the and this is I mean, we're heading into the climax of it, and, like, this is a piece of the movie that no. No. No.

But it's it's funny because I I look at Amado Baumchwager. You know, he's trying The comedian on the podcast. He's he's trying to adapt. He gets so little time in the real world to what you said, Ben. You know, that idea that, you know, maybe spending a little less time a little of art.

You know, just Oh, sure. Expediting that and getting him out here and adding more to the real word post piece of it because we get so much of it in such a That's very sense. Amount of time. And such great commentary. Like, when Charles Dance says, like, here, the bad guys win.

The bad guys can win. And that and like, as we all know, that is How about a nightmare Freddy Krueger? Guy. I fucking come. I I really for me, in terms of that first act, that first half, Danny, like, I have to escape to the movie theater.

People are robbing me. People random people are hitting me in the head on the street. I don't wanna go to school. It all works for me. And so, like, going back to the world, I don't necessarily wanna get back back to it super fast.

Yeah. I I think the movie does a good job of being like, okay. Well, now here we are because we have to be here. Right. Like, Danny doesn't wanna be there.

I, as an audience member, don't as much. And Irene meeting Arnold as Jack and that he's an Arnold look alike and a cop and this is who Danny was with and where she's playing Mozart as Danny's like, he killed Mozart. The F. Murray Abraham practice did. The guy who practice killed?

But where she turns it up and she goes, do you like classical music? And Arnold goes, I think I will. Yeah. I love that little moment of this fictional character finding a level of human making a human choice. Sure.

It it it goes back to the world that he was in where Blockbuster had, where are the normal women? Where why are Yeah. Where are all these attractive women? His world is probably all nothing but hard rock. It's nothing but the Jack Slater, soundtracks.

Yeah. Negative. He goes to listen to something beautiful. Yeah. Tesla.

It opens up to him, you know? Yeah. And, but, yeah. But to Danny's chagrin because he thinks it turns him soft. Yeah.

And it's so funny how it's it's so funny how they just went through that horrible experience of trying to find Benedict, and they're in trauma right now. But, he's go crash at home, and, yeah. He's dogging him about getting too soft, and they still have something to do. Should we have, shirts made that say, Benedict Hart, New York? Because, like, right here where Benedict lands in New York Yeah.

And he's around, like, prostitutes and pimps and gangsters. By the way, on Christmas morning, really early in the morning when I was living in Hilltop, somebody got shot really early in the morning when I was standing in the picture window. Me and my stepdad, my stepdad first goes running out, stepped out at the time. And someone's yelling, he took my Jordans. He took my Jordans.

And this is in the movie where the guy goes, get his shoes. Get his shoes. And Benedict's like, get his shoes? Like, this level of brutality doesn't even exist in these hyper violent movies that I exist in. Right.

This is even more of a fucking, like, I am on the golden fucking road. It's absurd. It's so funny. Like, the ticket's shoes, like Yes. I'm a I'm a maniacal villain, and even that sounds absurd.

Yeah. The real world, like, stranger than fiction idea to him. I like that movie. You know? But but it is the idea of, like, they have painted Benedict to be this just unrivaled vile villain, and even that's too much.

He's like, I can't imagine that they're kind of evil. What can I get away with? Have you ever seen John Candy's Delirious? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.

Not in a few years, but oh, yeah. That that I think that was a movie that I really loved. I love that you mentioned that. I hope somebody brings it because I've been avoiding rewatching it recently because I you know how much I love John Candy. Right.

This is a question I have for you. Benedict decides he's gonna get a fucking team together. Hannibal Lecter, Freddy Krueger. King Kong even. A dream team?

Oh, yeah. He teases out King Kong for god's sake. I could get King Kong. A dream team of monsters and villains and stuff like that. How do you guys feel about that plan?

How do you feel like his execution of it? It seems like he's blowing his wad. You know, it seems it's funny because the I mean, he talks a big game. First thing he goes out to grab is, the ripper, which to me that they did that so well, the sitting across the table idea at the cafe. He's just talking about his plan, plan, plan, plan, plan, pan over, and then you get the ripper.

It's the ripper. Yeah. He's back. The guy the very guy that killed Jack Slater's kid. Yeah.

He knows he's got it. He knows he has his card. And, yeah, it is that idea that, woah. Okay. Here we go.

Alright. His number one nemesis, the one that got to him in a way that nobody else could, got him. What what do you want me to say? What do you what do you think about that? About him?

Going, like, his plan and the way he executes it. That that's a I mean, it's a fun cinematic choice. I think the idea of bringing all of these movie villains that we're we know of is a fun thing for us as audience members, as movie watchers to be, like, oh, yeah. That is a cool thing to to imagine all of these characters coming out into the world. Yeah.

But what about what actually happens? Because he it doesn't it's the idea of talking a big game, but Yeah. Comes up He doesn't really do any of that. Right? I'm He doesn't get a chance to.

With Dustin on this, where that move of getting the ripper is so smart Oh, for the ripper for sure. Yeah. Where it's like they have. I'm gonna get this guy. He's gonna be really easy to convince where it's like, I don't even have to tell him that I'm bringing him into the real world.

I'm just gonna tell him, like, hey, bro. I have a way you can kill Jack Slater. Yeah. Yeah. I got you.

Yeah. And that that's, like, the first domino. Like, I just you know, there have been people that have shit on, like, why didn't he get Freddy? Why didn't he get this? About the ripper.

How does he what? Does he know about the Ripper just from his own universe? I assume Jack Slater 3 or whatever. It seems like it's still in theaters. Maybe it's being advertised.

Or, yeah, may may maybe it's the idea of Applying logic. Well, maybe it's the idea of doing his homework as a villain. Like, you know, he he was present in, say, Jack Slater 4 was in 1992 or 91. I'm sure he Yeah. He's like before, whatever.

I I I love that conceit. Yeah. Yeah. But it's the idea. It's like, I'm not just a henchman.

I I've got a brain behind me. I just need some research. It makes sense that he's the main villain in the end. And know your enemy. The movie premiere 2 is I so this is where I would love the movie to crescendo is in this Here we go.

Time where it's like we get 2 Schwarzeneggers. Yeah. Yeah. They're Van Damme and Belushi and Chevy Chase and MC Hammer and all come on. Lisa Gibbons, Rick Rick Ducommun.

Yeah. And all these people doing all this fucking shit. And we get a showdown in the end with the ripper after this very meta thing with Schwarzenegger. I can get you movie premieres, mile openings, and Slater's like, you've made my fucking existence a living hell, which I love. Exactly.

Yeah. But, yeah, Ripper Ripper pulls, John Motes booth and rip. I think you could have the whole movie climax here. I do too. I agree.

I agree. I think the Ripper going into look, we've done this dance a 1000000 times. I'm not sure if this is your kid, but this is what I do. I've done this a 1000000 times. You're gonna say this thing.

You're gonna throw the guns. I'm gonna throw the ax. I'm gonna kill your kid. You're gonna shoot me. Let's just do the thing.

And you could even have if you wanted to keep Ian McKellen as death, because God knows I love sir Ian McKellen if we weren't talking about sirs. Hey, of course. If you even if you wanted that thing, you could have introduced that character coming through the movie screen earlier at some point Yeah. And have him slowly walking into this moment where Jack is, like, shot, you know? Right.

Right. And I I think I think I love the Benedict fight. I love it. Oh, me too. Me too.

Me too. Alright. I I gotta hear about that because I have some questions about that. When Benedict with you about that one. When Benedict says, again, it's about how in the real world what matters is that you are the smartest.

Yeah. And in the real world, other than Danny at times, right, Benedict is the smartest. And when he leaves 1 when he is firing at Jack and he's like and Jack's like, you made the classic movie mistake. You ran out of bullets. And Benedict says no.

No, John. I just left one chamber empty and shoots him with a gun that would have cut him in half. Yeah. But shoots him Don't play with this, Danny. I personally Is that a 50 caliber?

What was he shooting? That's a I don't know. That thing's fucking massive. Yeah. I don't know if it's some crazy cartoonish version of a 357 or what.

But, Dustin, I'm curious as to why you might have a different opinion. But I I think the the smarts of, I know you as the action hero. You're gonna be overconfident. You're gonna be arrogant. You're gonna assume whatever.

No, bro. This is the real world. I'm gonna fucking kill you. No. And I did I love that part.

And it's it's what this movie does super well is its attention to timing and building a moment. It's like, no, Jack. I just left one chamber empty. Like, just the timing, the the intention. And I feel like, I mean, they do this with Benedict again.

They've proven it through and through the through this movie. He's smarter than your villain. And it and that From the first moment, you Sicilian schmuck. Right. Yeah.

And and and he just he just looks cool. Like he just Isn't he cool? He's a cool villain. Yeah. And that I feel like they did very smart.

And that really that set the wheels in motion for he's injured in the real world. Yeah. But but it's the how quickly, I guess, yeah. The the ripper, how quickly he was foiled, how quickly Benedict was foiled, how quickly Benedict was foiled, and then and then it kinda like You know, like, Danny being the kinda hero You broke my arm. I do I do too.

I just think it all could happen here in a more, you know, I'm I'm I think of Jono when he was, like, talking about his, minority report sort of, like, ending that where he was, like, I think I can clean up this last act. Okay. Yeah. And I think that this could have moments where it's, like, we could have the ripper's moment. We could have the next moment.

We could even have death's moment, and it could still and it couldn't, but it just this starts to feel a little drawn Yeah. Yeah. Taffy down a little bit. I just feel like the death thing is totally unnecessary. As much as I like pieces of it, it's totally unnecessary.

No. What I what I liked about the death thing, and to a degree, I understand. Specific thing about it. Yeah. And what I like about it is it ties in together.

I mean, it it ties the room together? No. It ties together. Spaceballs? No.

With Danny Madigan I'm the one who took y'all rug. That's right. We close the case on that one. That's right. When when death shows up, we don't even know.

Like, the ticket falls to the ground and someone falls Ian McKellen. Near the movie near the movie theater. Yeah. Just near the movie theater. At the entrance.

And it's a Ingrid Bergman, movie. 7th son. Right? 7th son with Max Monsido. I think the thing that could work if thematically they had set up that Danny's dad died.

Then that all these people have powers. Jack Slater has powers. Yeah. They didn't they didn't do an amazing job of it's kinda like, I know your dad died. Like, it's there's that piece of it's the emotion that Danny has.

Oh, yeah. Where he's like, this one stays. Yeah. You take you take whoever you wanna take. This one stays.

I like that. That's what she's doing. And I love that. That's why I could come back to this being in Danny's mind. Because also death at this moment says, not yet.

You will be old. And I'm, like, wait. Hold on. Hold on a second. Aren't you a movie version of death?

Why do you know anything about it? Yeah. The powers. Like, I get, like Yeah. Yeah.

There's a bit of that if you're following the logic. Yeah. I give a lot of, like, whatever. This is a fantasy movie. It's gonna do what it wants to do.

The main thing for me with death is, like, I don't need this. I don't know why this is happening. Yeah. It's extending a movie that could easily have, like, just gone to the movie theater to end. The one thing that actually almost reverses that for me Mhmm.

Especially as an adult, is when death looks at Danny and he's like, hey, you fucking dummy. Go find the other half of the ticket, dipshit. Yeah. Like, what are you doing here fucking talking to me? If I were you.

You know? It's like I I like that that he just calls out the kid for, like, you're overthinking a basic detail. Yeah. I think you could give that to a different character. I you could.

You could give it to Nick. Yeah. Easily. It's not necessary. Yeah.

Yeah. Death, it does add to the drag. It's kinda like it it's funny when I look at that. You know, it's like, alright. You could have cut the hotel, the funeral scene by 4 minutes.

By some. Yeah. This. And, yeah, and have have have different bridges to get you to to get you to this final piece of it. But he goes back and goes to try to find that ticket, you know, and get back to the movie.

Well, and, like, it's a it's almost like Arrested Development when Job makes, like, the decoy cooler, and Michael's like, that buys us, like, 10 seconds. And Job's like, no. Buys us all the time in the world. Yeah. It's like, no.

All the tickets are gold, and it's like you're watching it. It's like, well, it's right there. Yeah. It's easy to grab it. The resolution.

No problem. Yeah. And I love I love Jack coming back into the Moony world, and then the doctor being like, is this a joke? Is this a is it merely a flesh wound? It's a flesh wound.

And and the kid leaving the world. Yeah. And Big Gun playing, which was a movie that a song that was curated and requested by Arnold Schwarzenegger from ACDC. Oh, really? Yes.

It was a song written, performed, inspired by whatever this movie. Yeah. Yeah. And it it's funny because I mean The video. Jack has that moment where he's like in betwixt the worlds where he's like, oh.

Yeah. I forgot how he puts it. He's like, you know, I wish I could stay here because, you know, your mom, I would. Like, what are you driving at? You But but I like to think it's something It's nothing but the most innocent.

Jack and Irene are horny as shit but it's definitely good but the most innocent. It's like, I would love to make a life with her. You can tell you can tell that there's a bit of that. There's a bit of the, you know, all that. But what I do love is that he rides off into the sunset.

He does. There's one chip left. I have to leave you. Yeah. I you know, Ben, it's like, you put the heart on this movie.

I put a heart on Twister. Right? Where it's like, this is a good, bad movie. The filmmaking is at such an incredibly high level editing, lighting, coloring. So, like, balancing these two worlds and these tones.

Like, I it's like even if I rated it a 2 or a 3 or what it like, at a technical level, it's too good. Like, it's like I'd rather I don't know. I I don't but I I'm not like you. I don't just put hearts on good bad movies. No.

I'm I'm serious. That's not what that's not what I put hearts on. I put hearts on movies that even if it's a 3, it's still a movie that I really respect and love. And would, like, rewatch. Absolutely.

Got it. Okay. Yeah. Well, we're here. Yeah.

We reached the end, believe it or not, audience. Here we are. Dustin Yeah. You are first in line. We've talked at about this ad nauseam, about how Baz Luhrmann ripped it off.

Oh, gosh. About how the like, all He just wants me to fight. Jokes and madness and all dude, the movie is brilliant and it predates a lot of fucking shit. Whether people like it or not, like, it influenced a lot. I like the Lord and Miller thing that was brought up.

I could bring up a million things. As far as I know, Barry Jenkins fucking loves this movie. There are a lot of, you know, fancy fucking people that think this movie is great, but a lot of them probably think it's a big piece of shit. So wherever you land is fair. Right.

And, it's funny because, you know, as we talk it through, you know, and I I I'd always thought, I'm like, hey, look, I'm gonna hang on to the sentimental, hang on to what I enjoy about this movie. And then I, you know, hey, hearing your opinions on this as well, you know, I for the ET scene, for the Leo Lafart scenes, for the every mobster has a gun, every we even talk about the when Danny plays chicken and realizes he can't because he's the sidekick and he's gonna die. You know, I'm I'm That's good. I'm, looking at it, and, I'm taking it to, 4a half Okay. Exploding glass eyes.

Okay. Vengeance is still still one of my years and years movies, however I look at it. It's a 4a half. That's a great score. It's really rare for me to watch a movie that does a thing where it, like, sets you up for a specific ending or a specific type of thing, I e, it chapter 2.

And then it goes, we're gonna do exactly what we told you. And, normally, that's really unsatisfying for me. I think this movie kind of did that Mhmm. To a degree, and it really works for me. Mhmm.

And the thing that I think I brought up a few times that no one really refuted is what a fucking masterful job this does of managing environments as well as tones, real world, fantasy world, so on and so forth, and presenting that stark contrast. And, again, the justification at the end of the movie, if I were you, I'd be looking for the other end of the ticket Right. Where it's like, yeah, dummy. Like, instead of justifying it through the whole movie, like, the payoff. Yeah.

I you both make a lot of really good points, especially Ben, where you were saying, like, I rate this a certain way because of certain feelings or what have you. And, yeah, I really wanna fucking lay it on that the death thing is so unnecessary, but there are enough moments in it that I don't care that it keeps going. I'm going to stay at 4a half absolutely obliterated, disgusting, like, biohazard popcorn hands. I'm staying at 4a half. I Yeah.

It's good. I part of it is I can't own this on digital and on physical and be less than a 4a half and remain sane. Sure. I will lose it. Yeah.

So but, truly, it is a 4a half for me. I think just from a filmmaking aspect, the level of editing and etcetera, etcetera, all the technical bullshit, it's made it such an incredibly high level. And There you go. Shouts to McTiernan and Schwarzenegger for following through with their thing. Way to go.

Yeah. I mean, I think you guys made a lot of good points. I think the movie for me in watching it, like, a second time a second time in the last year, I guess, Moments for me where I'm I I felt more drawn into it than the last time I watched it, specifically with the, our world and the commentary on our world coming from the movie world. That stuff to me is what I think is really fun and interesting. But, yeah, there's moments that are still tedious and it still draws on for me.

But I if I could go to 3.25, I would, but I'm not allowed that. So I'll round up to 3.5. Yes. There you go. 3.5, Charlie buckets because I got the golden ticket.

I got the golden ticket in my eye. So we're walking away same overall where Dustin came down half. And then came up a half. Yeah. I stayed the same.

Wow. What a great secret birthday episode. You shitheads. You had to lie down. Birthday episode?

This is my secret birthday episode. I'm still doing running, man, but this was this is a long one. Okay. Then I have so for your birthday episode, I have a surprise. Well, you'll see.

Oh, f you, f er. You'll see. You got it. Oh, and Ted? Dustin.

Say hi to the princesses for me. Is there anything we missed? Goddamn it. It. Is there anything we missed?

Anything you wanna go over? You know what? I think Honestly, we don't know you for? Oh, for you know what? Well, the final thing I realized I didn't even say through this, through last action here.

I just feel like it does a great job. Like, the music. Oh my god. Like, carries music through and establishing. Oh, yeah.

The music's great. Jack Slater's theme is so good. Yeah. I talk to. I I it's funny.

This is, After we leave lethal weapon and it becomes Jack Slater Sure. Yeah. When it's its own thing. Yes. You know, I I talk often about, like, warm hugs, you know, just like when it comes to media warm hugs.

And Austin O'Brien. And Austin O'Brien. Sure. But no. No.

No. But warm hugs in movies, you know, it's like, although I came down a click, it doesn't take away from the fact. That's the first e show. Effect. What's up?

That's the first warm hug. That's what they say. That's what they say. But, you know John eases it out of you for the second one. That's right.

But, you know, it's something, you know, this movie is something that I'll always carry with me for many reasons and, Yeah. It's wonderful. You know what? Because you always keep a copy on you. What's that?

Because you always keep a copy on you? In my mind. Oh, shit. Yeah. Just They'll never leave me because I always physically have it on my person.

There here. It was so fun to have you. Amazing time. I'm so glad. Yeah.

Beyond glad. This is this is incredible to chat about a movie that was near and dear to my heart. Yeah. We're happy to have you. Thank you, man.

You know, follow us at review x two podcast. Follow me at run bmc on Letterboxx. Paul's at Paulox badly. Our, bookend themes are Jamie Henwood. We have, delightful themes of, what you're doing, how you've been doing, and what you've been watching by Matthew Foskett.

Chris Olds is our little, fun facts. Hey. And, then those those fucking delightful interstitials. You know, a little Indiana Jones action. And I love to, like, tack on, like, I'll tell you this for free, life as a house.

Check out Ruffways, please. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. Wow, what a surprise birthday episode you got. You kinda got 2 because I got 2 Arnolds. And let's be honest, I kind of like idolized dude when I was young.

I used to be pretty fit. Thanks so much for tuning in. We'll check it out next time. Good night. Way to drop that you used to be pretty fit in there.