HH 8 - The Boondock Saints / With Dom DeLuise as "The Kid"

We go sans guest, and senseless in this "Holiday Helping," for Saint Patrick's Day "The Boondock Saints." (Dir. Troy Duffy 1999) Starring: Sean Patrick Flannery, Norman Reedus, and very very clearly, that is Oscar nominated, easily recognized, and widely celebrated actor Willem Dafoe. 

**All episodes contain explicit language**
Artwork - Ben McFadden
Review Review Intro/Outro Theme - Jamie Henwood
"What Are We Watching" & "Whatcha been up to?" Themes - Matthew Fosket
"Fun Facts" Theme - Chris Olds/Paul Root
Lead-Ins Edited/Conceptualized by - Ben McFadden
Produced by - Ben McFadden & Paul Root
Concept - Paul Root

Transcript

Oh, hey. How are you doing, Ben? You're the co host here on the review review. How are you? Why, you Scottish?

I don't know. I'm from Ireland. Did you want some of my potatoes? I don't know. Maybe I'm from fucking Boston, motherfucker.

Give me the fucking keys, you motherfucker. Wait. Hold on. Hacksucker. Are you in this movie?

Donald Gleeson. Not Domino. You know, as a matter of fact, I might have been in this this movie, Ben, sir. I may have been. Oh.

Yeah, dude. Totally. Totally. Hey. Hey.

I'm your cohost. I'm Paul as well as god knows what all those things were. I'm with your other cohost. My name is Ben, and this is the review review. Let me tell you a little bit about what we do here.

We take a movie that's seven years old or older. It's two hours and twenty two minutes or less. It's not part of any major franchise unless there's some sort of caveat that we decide when and how we choose. In this case, we could have chosen something like that, like Leprechaun three. Oh, it's Like, something much much much different, much Don't don't don't do it.

Much. Don't give it away. Something very the lead that. The lead. But we went with a different movie, a suggestion from Ben.

Don't put that on me. Sit back, my friend. Give may feel some pain. Tis a pity I forgot me novocaine. Don't Ben, bury the lead.

What the fuck? Sorry. What the fuck are you doing? So I'm sorry. Grace Scott.

I'm just sitting over here. A panhandle. We watched a movie called the boondock saints, didn't we, Ben? We did watch, and this is technically part of a franchise. There are two Mary Segnopter.

There are two. And we did watch the Boondock Saints for Saint Patrick's Day, laddie. First thing first first thing yeah. What's that about? Saint Patty's Day is where it is.

That's good day, mate. Yeah. Oh, Hosers. That's about where I'm at. Okay.

Yeah. You have the same dialect code. God only knows it'll work on this one. Right now. It's possible.

By the way, this technically is also a franchise because it was produced by franchise pictures. That seems like that's like naming your I guarantee you that company doesn't exist anymore. I don't know if it does, but they were calling their shot. Yeah. Exactly.

And they did a lot of Stallones. Lot of Stallones. Lot of franchise Stallones? No. Like, Driven and Get Carter and some other stuff.

That that's those aren't bad movies. No. Don't think I've ever seen that version of Get Carter. I think I've only seen the Marco kind. Marco kind.

Also in that movie. Maurice Micklewhite. Yeah. Did we do that movie three months ago? I have no idea, honestly.

I because I can't see forward in time. Yeah. Franchise pictures, they brought us this thing and maybe also the second one. And, Ben, before we get too deep into what we've been doing, I would like you to mention why you chose this movie right up front. You want me to do it up front?

Just right up front. I would like you to mention it twice even. I'd like you to just do it right now right up front. I saw okay. Well, I don't wanna give away too much.

I'll just say the last time I saw this movie was in college, and I remember enjoying it. You're a fanboy of it to, by your own admission. I would say I remember enjoying it. I never owned this movie. Okay.

But I remember enjoying it. That's wow. That's like a weight has been lifted. That's great. So we we got that out of the way.

Ben? Yes. What you been doing? Okay. Let me tell you.

I gotta tell you a story, Paul. Oh, I'm re okay. Let me strap in. A little anecdote. About this is about Jay Leno.

Zasha Mamas. Have I ever told you my Jay Leno story? I don't know. I once did a podcast with a guy named Dave who told me a story about Jay Leno. That's my Jay Leno story.

Is this gonna cost me? I'll tell you this one for free. Oh, well, okay. Thank that's very good of you. So yesterday morning, I had three bananas.

And What the fuck? I told you I was telling you a story. I had three bananas. Yes. Okay.

And I promise you this isn't a math problem. Not not not plantains. No. Bananas. Bananas.

Okay. Three bananas. And these bananas have been going brown. Oh, sure. Watching them go brown.

And at some point, I think I go, well, you know what? Maybe I'm just trying to get to those bananas. Maybe I'll freeze them, or if I'm feeling zesty, I'll make banana bread. Oh, yeah. Who doesn't like banana bread?

Weirdos. And so yesterday morning with my three bananas, I went through my cabinet and was like, do I have all the things I need for banana bread? And I did. And I. All the necessities for baking a very simple a thing that a child could bake.

Child children do bake it, I think. I'm just speculating. I don't think I've ever seen it on the Great British Bake Off. Yeah. Well, I think it's a very American thing.

I think you're probably right. But I don't think bananas are very big in Britain because bananas came from Costa Rica area. Right? So Something like that, I think, or Ecuador or whatnot. Yeah.

It probably weren't. Not a big banana bunch in Britain. Oh my god. Ben's blockbuster Bonanza Summer was many months ago now. We we have to move on from the beach.

Sorry. Big is good. It's okay. It's okay. Bees?

Bees. I was very caffeinated. I was very excited. I made my banana bread, put in the oven, did a bunch of chores, smelled great, went back, and it looked weird. And I was like, that's strange.

Looks a little weird. I'll let it cool down. And then I cut into it, and I realized pretty quickly, I did not put baking soda in it. Oh, rookie mistake. Children make this.

Exactly. You fool. I know. You wasted three perfectly brown bananas. I did.

I wasted bananas. And I tried to eat a piece of it, and it was nothing. Awful. It was nothing. Yeah.

Just a bland glob of nothing. I had to throw it away. That's my banana story. Man, you lost, like, 90¢ of ingredient, man. Maybe a dollar 10 dollar 10, dollar 11.

Yeah. I got a brief hour long window where the apartment smelled great, though. Yeah. I mean, that's a bonus. That's always a bonus of delicious baked goods.

On the note of what we were talking about earlier, I should make more chocolate chip cookies and just put walnuts in it or banana bread. And that's how I get more walnuts. There you go. Tips from the review review. What you come here for?

Random life tips that are non sequitur that you have no idea what they have to do. Put two pounds of nuts. In your cookies. Paltry. A friend with weed is a friend indeed, but a friend with gold is the best I'm told.

Paltry. What have I been up to? It's funny you mentioned the banana bread thing. I've been cooking a lot, a lot more even than usual. I have a, you know, tendency to, like, make a sandwich in the afternoon or yogurt and granola for breakfast, things like that.

But for dinner, I've been doing a lot of delicious steak based protein meals, chicken based protein meals, loaded mashed potatoes, very rustic, lots of different rices, couscous, different little vegetable medleys and such. It's been really, really great. I got this not sponsored KitchenAid air fryer. It's a fucking it's a bad bitch. It's great.

I love it. It kills like a butterflied chicken breast with salt, pepper, little hot honey seasoning, little beer beer can chicken seasoning, throw that in the fridge for thirty minutes. Put a little cream cheese or sour cream on it, whatever your preference is, and then add your panko with your melted or browned butter and your paprika and more salt and pepper and, some fresh chives and things of that nature. You you put it on that sour cream coating. You throw it in that, air fryer for about twelve minutes, and Bob's your uncle.

Uncle Bob. Yeah. K. I have to stop you, Paul, because the movie we're talking about is about Irishmen, and they don't understand that many spices that What did you do to the potatoes? Too much too much flavor that you just put on that.

My I You have to put on salt. You put on pepper, and that is it. Die another day. And you just mix the potatoes in the water. That's what you do.

You don't even have to cook them. Not even a You eat them like an apple. Let's do some improvisational comedy. No. The famine hole.

That's There were so many other options. You know? We could've list we could've done a McDonough. We could've done so many other Irish. We could've done the departed, which is another My name is Saoirse Ronan.

Yeah. Just keep keep keep digging that hole, man. Yeah. Keep digging it. Yeah.

Just keep on shoveling. I literally said leprechaun three. Leprechaun in space, maybe? I don't know which one that is, but that sounds great right now. I'm in.

I'm in. It sounds wonderful. Ben Yes. What have you been watching? So good.

Forever a banger. Evergreen. It's too bad Matt Foskett will never come back on this podcast ever again. Well, after fuck you, fucker, fucking fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. I think that's When we posted that one, duck you sucker, and Moses wrote, oh, great choice of movie.

I was like, oh, oh, no. I don't know if you're gonna like this episode. Now you can't come back. By the way, we hope you enjoyed the alien three episode for spooky season. I for naivety.

I'm with Moses also. Go back. Listen to it. There. It's definitely there.

It's definitely there, and it's definitely one of the best episodes we've done with Moses Olsen, if not one of the best episodes we've done with Olsen comma Moses. I can't believe you climaxed this. Dude, we all know how I feel about that movie now, so how could I not? I just felt like my chest was gonna burst. I was so excited.

Full on dog lipstick. Put it away. Put it away. Okay. Ben, what have you been watching?

I'm in the process of watching Slow Horses. Apple Plus? Mhmm. Yeah. Go on.

Have you started it? I Mhmm. I read the book. This is not I didn't even plan this. I read the first book.

It's right here. Oh, yeah. No shit. And thinking that if I like the book, I'll watch the series. And so the fourth episode or the fourth season just launched, and it's getting, like, rave reviews.

So I thought, okay. I should probably start it. And who doesn't love Gary Old Bring me everyone. Oh, yeah. You You mean everyone.

I really Everyone. I'm really enjoying it. It's really great espionage thriller, kind of like le Car. A slow burn kind of shit? Okay.

But a like, slight maybe, like, slightly more action y than lekar. It's, like, 85% lekar, and the rest is Mission Impossible. Yes. Cool. Okay.

I'm really enjoying it. I highly recommend checking it out. Jack Loudon is the lead. Olivia Cook shows up. She's great.

Yep. I think he would really dig it. Okay. Especially being an Old man fan. He his he doesn't phone in a performance ever.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. He's always solid. And in this, he just plays the, like, biggest slob of a spy. It's really great. He's, like, old cold war era was his, like, peaked, and now he's just, like, given fucking up on life.

But he still runs this tiny they're called slow house, and it's, like, this tiny lowest rung on the ladder spy unit of of Scotland Yard that is, like, in the shitty apartment complex. And it's basically where they send all of their spies that fucked up or didn't or they don't wanna deal with anymore. They so they send them, mate? They send them over to Scotland. Right?

You sounded like you sounded like Murray from Flight of the Conquest. That's exactly who I'm trying to sound like. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, thanks, man. I really appreciate. I very much appreciate that you said that. Yes. Very good.

But, anyway, slow horses. What are you, buddy? What have you been watching? I love that you said old man because I'm rewatching that as I as you know, I've been talking about how great the second season is for weeks now and how wonderful that is. I'm not, like, gearing up to watch the second season when that premiere soon.

It's just so good. I have been rewatching Tim Robinson between SNL and I Think You Should Leave and Sam Richardson and let's throw Jason Sudeikis in there for credit and Zack Kanan and all sorts of people. Comedy series that was on Comedy Central for a couple years called Detroiters. It's super absurd. It's so so so funny.

The world that they create is so it's so you know, you're watching us you're saying, like, a suspense thriller. This is the comedy version of that where it's like anybody could have any motivation at any time. It can go any direction at any time. It's just so fucking good, and I went out of my way to watch couple of episodes I have to do with Sam Richardson's character's family reunions, the duvet family. It's something that it it somehow captures that sitcom feel of the nineties with, like, a splash of, like, workaholics or something, which, like, workaholics isn't far from that.

But d two Royte. D two Royte. I'm just gonna You don't I wanna say that over and over. I've never seen it. Paramount plus, if you have it, it seems to be available there quite a bit.

So I would just suggest either of those things I just mentioned, old man season two. How much do we love that, everybody? Wow. That was so great. And rewatch Detroiters.

Why not? Give it a chance. Because Jeff Bridges got sucked into a video game once. Did he? What?

Prawn. Will never not be the funniest thing in the history of the world. Far out, man. Fucking a. Fucking a, man.

I have bad news for you, Paul. Uh-oh. Because we have to get the facts, and we have to talk about some saints. Yeah. Alright, man.

Let's, let's do it. Give me give me the the thing. Archaeology is the search for facts. Hey. Hey, Paul.

You don't get mentally erect. It's a free country. Just don't get irregular. Alright? Is it me?

Oh, son of a bitch. Fucking fuck fuck motherfucker fuck. We watched a movie called The Boondock Saints. This was eventually produced by Franchise Pictures and Indican Pictures. It's rated r.

It's from 1999, technically. It's an hour and forty eight minutes, but you'd swear that's not possible. The budget of this movie is $6,000,000, not anywhere close to the original 15 it was green lit for. You know, fun fact, they only paid a hundred dollars for the editing. Oh, man.

They got ripped off. The adjust the adjustment on this movie is $11,300,000. Opening weekend, it's wider release in The US, which was five movie theaters, was January 23 in the year February. It made $20,000. The adjusted is 37,800.

Final gross in North America was $34,000. That's $64,000 adjusted. That is the same as all of its worldwide monies. Other releases, the same day, well, it's down to you. That's just that's what it was.

Yeah. Never heard of it. Weekend top five next Friday. Well, the joke's on us, Ben, because number two was down to you. Don't we look stupid?

Yeah. The hurricane, Stuart Little, The Green Mile. This film finished sixty second, which is dead last of releases tracked in movie theaters in The United States for the weekend. Top five films this year domestic were doctor Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas, a movie I walked out of. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I have not done that many times in life. I don't hate that movie. I have never attempted to watch it again. I mean, I enjoy a good Christmas flick on in the background while I wrap presents.

I walked out from the movie theater, but I would give it another shot. Maybe we did already. Woah. I will still would do it. You know?

It would be I think it's worth it. It's totally fair. Top five films this year domestic is as I was saying. Mission Impossible two, Gladiator one. Gladiator one.

Oh. Because there are two of those. The perfect storm and meet the parents. Other films from February, remember the titans, castaway, shaft, the singleton version, unbreakable. I like that movie.

Yeah. I fucking like that movie. Road trip, Rugrats in Paris, Gone in Sixty Seconds, What Lies Beneath, and the Patriot. You're the trash. That's gonna get mixed in there a lot too.

Letterboxed average on this movie is 3.4. What? No. Follow us, won't you? I I letterboxed at @runbmc.

I'm at Paul x Badley. Ebert, Roger himself for ebert.com, 1 out of four stars. Rotten Tomatoes, 26%. Metacritic, a somehow mildly dazzling, unbelievable 44. Major award wins and nominations, none.

Even the Razzies were like, no. No. Undeserving. Okay. Let me take a sip.

Alright. The director of this movie was Troy Duffy. He also directed Boondock Saints two. That's it. Fuck.

Yeah. He sure did, didn't he? That was it. On this movie are Troy Duffy. He also wrote Boondock Saints two.

Why? Why? Hey, Paul. Don't get mentally erect. What?

Director of photography, Adam Kane. He did skin walkers, the man, the skateboard kid two. Why did they make a second one of these? It's like Gladiator. You did it.

It was exactly the way it should be the first time. Yeah. You're right. Need to Why didn't we know you had Skateboard Kid? Why didn't we need Skateboard Kid two?

Yeah. We didn't need Boondock Saints two. We didn't need Gladiator two. What is Skateboard Kid? It's I think the first one, it stars, I think, Dom DeLuise.

As the kid? I think he might be the voice of the skateboard. Okay. Oh, god. Get off of me, kid.

No. I don't know. But it's a kid who finds a fucking flying skateboard that I think is like Is this like Rosebud again? Dumb Tulloo. Yeah.

Skateboard kid is actually a legacy sequel to Citizen Kane. Rosebud is the skateboard. Well, sorry. Hey, everyone. Listen to our skateboard kid episode, won't you?

We've recorded it. It's come in so many times already. Please listen to it. Music, Jeff Danna, onward. I enjoyed that movie.

That was a Pixar that people shed on, and I actually enjoyed that movie. I cannot really recur it's like the troll one. Right? It's basically, like, D and D characters. It but they it, like, evolved where they're it's kinda like that really shitty what was that movie called?

With Will Smith and Joel Edgerton where he was like an orc and and they're, like, props. Right? Yeah. Kinda like it's kinda like that idea of, like, the world has evolved into our world. But, yeah, I thought if this is the Pixar onward that they're referencing, I actually enjoy that movie.

Movie. I think it is. Storch's The Addams Family 2019, which I believe no. Never mind. What?

Nope. I had a thought about it, and it's gone. Okay. Producers, Ashok Armitralj, antitrust, Get Carter Hey. Two thousand, and Andrew Stevens who did Night Eyes two, which is mentioned on this podcast by me.

And this is Night Eyes four full exposure. Which has been mentioned on this podcast. Are you gaslighting me? I have definitely okay. In episodes that have been recorded before this, I've definitely mentioned Night Eyes at some point.

Is that different than what is that? It's a direct to video franchise. Okay. Battlefield Earth, which I'm surprised we haven't done. The Whole Nine Yards, I like that movie, 3,000 Miles to Graceland.

That guy's, producer filmography is absolutely wild. You you should look it up, audience. It is wild. Yes. Very in this movie, performing, acting, the great Willem Dafoe.

Mhmm. Paul Smickler to live and die in LA, light sleeper, Spider Man 02/2002, amongst many other things. If you do not know him, you should flog yourself. Go full Paul Bettany in Ben's favorite movie. Full The Da Vinci Code.

Go full flogging Motley. Sean Patrick Clattery. Aye. Connor, the young Indiana Jones series, Pefarious Powder. Norman Reedus plays Murphy.

The bike rider's triple nine Pandora, and I feel like famously what rebooted his career was the walking dead. Yep. Absolutely. Sir Billy Connolly plays El Duce, which is weird because he's Scottish, so it should just be the deuce. The duke?

Duke. Yeah. The duke. The deuce. A badass duke.

Brave. Missus Brown Muppet Treasure Island. I remember him very well from Muppet Treasure Island, though, because he plays Ben Gunn Mhmm. Right, on the island? I believe so.

David Della Rocco plays David Della Rocco. Rocco. David Della Rocco. In a fucking transformative performance of transforming from himself to himself. Allow me to allow myself to introduce myself.

I'm the dude who's caught in the dude who playing another dude who is as shit as his dude. Dude, you're a dude. He's a world dude yet. The black dove dead in five heartbeats. You've if you have seen those movies, please text us.

Oh my god. Text the program. Right now. Yep. And talk talk to us about how why didn't you include that he was in Boondock Saints two All Saints Day?

Because I didn't wanna. David Ferri plays Dolly, man of the year, back in action, dark man two, the return of Duran. And Brian Mahoney plays Duffy, first man, Furious seven, American Reunion. Hey, Ben. It's time for fun facts.

Fun facts. Fun facts, everybody. It's fun fact time. I'm gonna tell you the first one here partly because I didn't mention it in what we were watching. Ben, have you ever seen the documentary I'm about to talk about called overnight?

I have not. It is quite quite an illuminating experience. I have seen it a few times now. I highly recommend it. I will refer to it a lot in this episode.

Okay. The script's initial sale garnered a considerable amount of publicity, including the cover of USA Today as a rags to riches story for writer director Troy Duffy, who was the bartender in Los A a bartender in Los Angeles when Miramax film head Harvey Weinstein, bought his script and signed Duffy to direct the movie, his band to score the movie, and that Harvey Weinstein would purchase the bar for the two of them to co own. Duffy quickly managed to sour the deal, putting the script into turnaround where it was eventually produced by franchise pictures for less than half of the original budget offered by Miramax. After its limited theatrical release, this movie gained popularity on home video as a blockbuster exclusive among incels and pathetic people. Unfortunately, Duffy's contract did not give him any royalties from video sales.

Duffy's initial success and consequent self destruction are con chronicled in the documentary Overnight from 02/2003. And a very quick thing about that movie, this is two gentlemen who followed Troy Duffy and his whole experience for over four years up to and including after the movie was released, the release of his band's album, which was originally part of the deal for this movie. The story of this movie getting made period is fucking insane. I suggest watching overnight. I would give it three and a half out of five guns to the head.

Really interesting. I I would totally check that out. It's phenomenal. Is it streaming? It's available on, I believe, Canopy and Hoopla if you have a library membership audience as well as Tubi and Pluto, which are free as well.

I don't qualify for those. No. I have a low enough income that I get all of them. Ben, tell me more. Sir Billy Connolly, who's very much alive, was so excited to be playing against type and having so much fun playing a psycho with guns strapped all over him.

They had to add the large cigar the character incessantly smokes because unless they stuck something in his mouth, he simply couldn't stop smiling. I love that. That's adorable. The character David Della Rocco is named after the actor who plays him because the character was based on and written for him. Garth.

Joey Duffy flew to New York City to meet with you and McGregor and offer him one of the lead roles. At a night out, Duffy got drunk, and they got into an argument over the death penalty, and McGregor passed on the movie. This led to Miramax putting the movie in turnaround. The word fuck and its derivatives are used a total of 246 times. I'm gonna say one quick other thing about this you and MacGregor thing.

He ain't the only one. When you watch overnight, the amount of people that this guy talked to as a result of the initial deal of this movie is fucking nuts. It is nuts. What? No.

I'm excited to watch this documentary. You really should watch it. Audience Especially after just watching this movie. Yeah. Watch overnight before or after you listen to this episode as soon as you get a chance.

If you haven't seen it already Before they listen to this episode? They're listening to it now, though. Oh, what if they already have seen it? If they they watched it before before the before. Before.

What if I put in the description, before you listen to this episode, watch overnight. Go back in time, get up to 88 miles per hour. Great Scott. Great Scott. Great Scott.

Great Scott. Great Scott. Great Scott. Great Scott. Do you wanna give a log line a chat a shot?

Oh, boy. I mean, we gotta do it at some point. I'm gonna I'm gonna pop it up, and I'm gonna try to come up with one on the fly here. Two Austro Australian Irish German Louisiana Catholic Alberta brothers feel that they are touched by God, the angel Gabriel, a touch the old did you smoke a lot of weed you smoke a lot of weed out of cocaine's kid? Somebody touched him and, was like, you gotta kill all these fools.

So two two Irish Catholic brothers decide to take on a quest for vengeance against those that have sullied society, son. What's your what's yours? Two Irish Catholic brothers take it upon themselves to be saints and become vigilantes, ridding their neighborhood of a Russian crime syndicate Yeah. Alongside the help of a detective. I bet the detectives mentioned in some way.

Oh, I didn't do too bad there, Paulie. Okay. Two Irish Catholic brothers Of course. That's what the lead is. Right?

Of course. We both got that. Become vigilantes and wipe out Boston's criminal underworld in the name of God. Okay. Well, yeah, that was pretty boy.

Boy. You know that boy. It is an okay log line, isn't it? You know what the log line should be? It should be, what if a dorm room poster was made into a movie?

That's awesome. I am so glad you said that. This episode is brought to you by Dorm Room Posters. Dorm Room poster. Get your lead Fucking roll.

Get your Tales from the crypt demon knight poster. Get your Pulp Fiction, your fight club. Your fight club poster for sure. Your Bob Marley smoking weed. Yep.

Never been a big poster guy outside of childhood. Poster probably. Probably. D d 12 maybe. Because I was in college in the forties.

So we had old Skibbity Bang John and Toilet? But, Boots Bones, Bertram, Bort. Maybe it's Bort? My son's name is also named Bort. Bort?

I think we're riffing too long here, and I don't know how where it's going. A Family Guy poster. Only seasons one and two. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Dorm Room Posters.

We'll see you in a minute. Hello. Hello. I'm ranking as Crispy the fourth, the head of the triple d, the dope dorm rooms department. You'll hear the bell of my assistant, Fats McCool, in the background.

On our website, ddd.gov, you'll find all the approved dorm room posters to guarantee you'll still be cool in the coming maybe if it happens school year. All of the super dope and approved posters include all of your favorite and the best movies that have ever come out in the history of this great nation. Big Momma's House two. You know we got that shit. Katurl Z, Imperfect Union, an American carol, a Christmas carols for the kaaammies.

Shades of rain, Alvin and the Chipmunks of the Squid Ink World, Office Uprising, Shazam, American Underdog, Shazam Fury of the Gods, and Harold and the Purple Crown. Any movies not listed here are not approved by the DDD, and we suggest not hanging it in your dorm room. You can't, however, have the poster to the greatest TV show ever made in Beezy's. Chuck. But you can subscribe to this podcast, which is approved.

Adriview x two podcast on Instagram. You can roam in Akron, Bmc. Odd little box and boy, boy, man. Listen to us on Good Parts. Angstee you.

Oh shit. What's up my dogs and my dog? It's your boy, Scoot Boimin. A boy, a boyman, you boy, all the same. Coming at you right now, representing for the frat.

I cry, baby. Wrap it up. Hands up. I cry coot boyman, scoot boyman, scoot the coot boyman. That's what they call call me.

Coming at you with all of my dope dorm room posters. What you know about Vox Lux? The Great Wall? The Smile Man? A woman?

Four forty four last day on Earth? Antichrist? How about speed two cruise control dude? Affliction? What's realer than affliction?

Well, the English Patient? Yes, I did like the English Patient. I have no interest in seeing sack lunch. Thank you. The Loveless?

You know, I go hard with the posters. You know, I have baby geniuses. You know, I have the wild Thornberrys. You know, I have tombstruck. You know, I have driving me crazy.

You know, I have loose cannons. You know I have happily ever after. You know I have Oliver and company. And you know I have my ultimate number one favorite, the review review podcast poster hosted by Ben and and Paul. You can follow Ben on letterbox like I do and the other boy man's at I cry.

He said at run b m c. Paul is at Paul acts badly. This podcast is at review x two podcast on Instagram. Now before I have to go hard and really rip for the frat and I cry, we're gonna go back to the show. The Scarface.

Oh, yeah. How did we miss Scarface? Scarface. Scarface? Blow?

Blow, Goodfellas. Goodfellas. Yeah. Yeah. Mob movies for sure.

American gangster. Because you know boys love crime. Boys in the hood. Boys in the hood. There you go.

I would have rather been talking about any of those movies we had just mentioned. Wow. Should we do this? Even Mortal Kombat annihilation? I think we should.

I think it's time now that we've gone over all the posters that did and didn't exist in your dorm room via the convo and the ad. It's time to play a cinephile, Ben. I think you should take the freebie. You're right there. Freebie?

Okay. Yeah. You're there, which I am too. I'm right here with you. Yeah.

I don't know who you're talking about. Yeah. I'm just closer to the cards. Yeah. Yeah.

Ah, the actor is Jake Gyllenhaal, and the movie is Nightcrawler. Spider. You talking about Enemy? I just lost. I was talking about enemy, and the spider invaded my brain.

I lost. So fast. I thought you were saying spider man far from home. Yeah. But you just stopped, and I was like I lost so hard.

I was just thinking about, obviously, the subject matter of enemy. Hey. Really wonderful movie, by the way. You're just gonna think about that damn spider. Well, here we go.

My first experience with the Boondock Saints. I mean, did you wanna name a Gyllenhaal movie? I mean, you already did one. Yeah. It doesn't Donnie Darko.

There you go. He he who gives a shit? On that subject too, first time I watched this, I was staying with some friends, for a weekend at somebody's apartment. And, of course, some dipshit was like, oh, man. You guys ever seen fucking Boondock Saints?

That movie fucking rules the shit. And, was stoned and didn't like it and checked out of most of it and checked into little pieces of it and had watched it at some point after I watched overnight in pieces as well. So I think this may have been the first time I'd ever actually sat down and watched the movie sequentially, this most recent viewing. But, clearly, my original viewings were half an accent. This movie thinks that it's five accents, so whatever Troy Duffy fucking thinks it is.

500 accents, a hundred out of a hundred stars, whatever. 250 out of 250 folks. It was a half. I rewatched this yesterday, watched the documentary before, and went right into the movie. And that definitely gave me quite a viewpoint on the experience that I wasn't far from what I already had, I guess.

But, yeah, I fucking hate this movie. I I give it a half an accent. I think it's it's an absolute muddled fucking crazy mess. It's clearly very first time. I don't know if I could make a movie much worse.

I probably could, but I don't know if I could. And that, I think, is all I need to say. Mhmm. I've never directed anything full length in my life. I mean, well, that I had that movie come out in January now that, you know, we're at this episode, and it did so well that I wrote, directed, and produced.

But, you know, being an armchair quarterback or whatever, I guess the last thing I'll say, in a lot of roles, there are a lot of really solid, good, capable actors, and a lot of them have done work, made choices, are doing their best by acting their way to elevating the material or not acting their way to elevating the material. Not meaning, like, not trying, but just being, like, I'm I'm gonna be really understated despite clearly the direction was, like, more, louder, faster. But actors that are talented trying to do their best to make this better than the sum of its parts. I think that's very important to say. I saw this movie in college.

I believe it was after working a shift at Zeke's Pizza Okay. With my friend James, and we went back to his house and probably got stoned and drunk and watched that movie. The thing that I remember most from that experience and the thing that I think resonated and why I enjoyed it was the Willem Dafoe performance. That you know, just Willem Dafoe in general. And I remember it being heralded in that.

Like, people talked about this movie with the Willem Dafoe performance as sort of, like, a cornerstone of it. Yeah. As we're, like, as we're sort as I've okay. I guess so back then, I probably would have given this movie, like, three and a half. That's a pretty high score for you.

Pretty high score for me. Pretty high score for me. That's a pretty high score. That's a pretty high score for me. I I watched this movie this morning.

First thing I did was make coffee No. And breakfast and watch this movie. I've had a awful day. No. The thing like, as we're going through these facts and how it bombed in the box office, I'm I don't understand how this movie got so much traction and has been talked about in many different ways, and it still exists in the zeitgeist.

Watching this movie this morning made me very upset. Yeah. It it it feels like this feels like the worst of Tarantino. Like Yeah. That's it's so off this movie is so offensive.

It's masturbatory in the most lazy way. It's badly it's it just it's just horribly written, and it's it's terribly shot. And the fucking editing is like it's on a fucking TNT or something. Like, that it doesn't the editing makes zero sense. It just keeps fading to black.

And the so watching this movie this morning, I paused it where I was for sure thinking was the hour and a half mark, and it had only been forty five minutes. Yep. And I was We're gonna go kill all those fuckers now. I was devastated by how much more time was left in the in watching that and that my coffee was out. So I walked away with one dead cat.

I thought you might go with that scoring system. That part upset me so much. Oh, and when that happened, I was cuddling my my little rudester. This movie so unnecessarily and is unnecessary. That's the thing.

I it's so unnecessarily. Add any word you want, and it's unnecessary. This is a movie that if like, this feels like what a Gen Z alt right troll would want a movie to be. Yes. This is the thing too, when you look at the cast of the second one.

Clearly, there was either a budget increase and or people must have liked working with Troy Duffy to some degree. They came back and worked with him again, which to me I mean, maybe, again, like, where it's like, oh, you can see these actors doing little flurries of of good work adding some paint here and there or whatnot. But, you know, does that make you happy enough to wanna go back and work with somebody because they allow you to do that in this horrific I don't know. I don't I'm gonna do my best not to bag on this the whole time, but this is gonna be a rough episode, everybody. You're gonna feel like you're in a full length Catholic fucking mass.

It's gonna be brutal. Before we move on, I just have to read you what chat GBT said about this movie. Oh, we're employing the robots now. Alright. Sky Skynet, we're ready.

The Boondock Saints, is it? Well, lad, that film's a pure mess, like trying to put lipstick on a pig and call it a beauty queen. The accents in it, jeezus. They're worse than a pint of flatter Guinness. And the pot, it's over the star it's over the top like a fella chasing his own tail with some bullet with more bullets than scents.

As for the characters, they're about as deep as a puddle after a light rain. And that Willem Dafoe fella, bless him, acts like he's in a different movie altogether, doesn't he? All high drama when the rest of the film's as subtle as that hammer to the head. In the end, Woonak Saints is the cinematic equivalent of a drunken lad at the pub telling you the same story over and over again out of each time, hoping it'll be more impressive, but it never ends. Damn.

Okay. Well well done, chat GPT. Fuck. Now everybody knows why I don't fuck with that thing. Yeah.

Now everybody knows why I don't fuck with that thing. I watched it yesterday and had not a great day. You watched it today, had not a great day. And here we are to deliver another bad day with another half star movie. Let's just start the fucking thing.

Start the movie. Dark star movie. Star star movie. Star star movie. And now, our feature presentation.

Poor people get bored too. Oh. The movie starts at a mass in Boston and scattered parishioners around and it's dour or supposed to be dour. You assume the feeling's supposed to be dour, and this is the thing that can be is gonna be rough for me throughout. Clearly, a lot of the people who also worked on this movie, not just the actors, are talented people that have done good work, but the person steering the ship was a novice, an amateur at best, and ultimately should probably be responsible for most of what we see in the very end.

And so it's like even as Ben mentioned the editor, we've talked about the way the movie looks at times and stuff. This isn't an indictment on an individual outside of the director who seemed to have a pretty heavy amount of creative control. I just wanna say that at least on my end. So the Catholic mass is happening. It's very bright.

It's so brightly lit, but it's supposed to be dour. Yeah. I have a lot of questions, Spah. Yeah. Right off the bat, we see these two fucking trench coat mafia brothers.

Right. Are they professional killers when we first meet them? I don't think that they are, and I don't think is it ever is there an inkling ever that they had any familial, like, teaching or familial or IRA? I didn't think so either. Yeah.

I don't fucking think so. There's no character development on them at all. No. No. I dude, the only character development that seems to happen, and it's super fucking awkward, you know, they go to this Catholic mass, and we hear this priest where it's like you know, even the Catholic church apparently didn't want them shooting outside of Catholic churches, which, like, to fuck up with the Catholic church is like, you can't be around anymore, and your shit's fucked up.

So And they're like, but we brought all these boys along, and they're like, oh, hang out. So they have all these tattoos that are clearly drawn on with, like, blue ink, and they go up and pay their respects or whatever in the middle of this Catholic mass and then leave. And I the opening helicopter shot of Boston, not bad. The opening part of the score, not bad. It really is when we get into that church and as they're leaving and this first group of scenes where it's like the only character development as you were mentioned seems to be that these two are some sort of, like, symbiotic being.

They fucking pray together. They light cigarettes together. They work together. They clearly fucking get dressed together. Even go make toilets.

Okay. You know what? You're trying to creep me out, man. A single plop. One single plop.

Yeah. Sure. And they live Fifth, they meet they meet fight together. They live in squalor. Yeah.

They go to a bar with a guy who is doing the most offensive Tourette's performance I think I've ever seen. The shitty the shittiest, most candidly the way it's written too is like, yeah. We all know that that is a very small amount of people that have Tourette's struggle with that specific tick, and it's been beaten to death in movies and TV, and it just does not carry. Well, he's also I was thinking this while watching it where I'm I think that actor might a lot of performances in this feel like man. It's like this way over the top.

It goes Like, everybody is I feel like just like performing for the third row or the third balcony. You know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That I don't know.

I just had a feeling that maybe there were a lot of theater people on this without the subtle or just people who just aren't used to being Well, well, I'm like a a director who doesn't know what he's doing that's just yelling more, more, more, more intense, more intense, like George Lucas on Star Wars faster, more intense. Like, Yeah. Yeah. We we go into this scene where this bartender with Tourette's is explaining that the Russian mob is buying up all of Boston. Fuck ass.

Yeah. And then we cut away to black between various spinning shots, and it's the next day. And Willem Dafoe shows up to examine some dead guys who one of them has a huge bandage on his ass. Yeah. Like, played for some sort of comedic effect.

All of the fades to black, I have to imagine, like, it just reminds me of the Simpsons. And then star wipe the next scene. You know, sir, there's other transitions other than star wipe. Star wipe. Star wipe.

We were talking about Gary Old man earlier too. It's like, does Troy Duffy I mean, it's almost written like Stansfield from The Professional. Oh, yeah. For sure. I felt like again, I felt like this was The Professional Tarantino.

It's like, this is somebody who's like, oh, I can do that. Oh, I can do that. And then they were, like, somehow got the talents of Willem Dafoe because Yeah. The Willem Dafoe performance goes off the rails at a certain point. But Yeah.

There was a firefight. In until that point, he when he's on screen, that is the most engaged I am in the entire movie. And that is why this movie has one dead cat for me is because when he's on screen, I can't help but watch. I, you know, I agree with you for the most part, but it wears out its welcome for me, and that's where I stand on the half at this point. But I do understand what you're saying.

It's just he's this FBI profiler guy, and he's examining these dead bodies. And we don't know the story as the audience, and he works out the story for us. Like, it's just like a walk in the fucking park. This is how these guys died. This is probably what happened.

Send this to here and this to here. And it's even just sloppy, shitty writing like Willem Dafoe tells a cop, go check this apartment building and see what you can find out. In less than a minute, that cop comes back and says, this is the dialogue. There's no manager, but found the lady on the Fourth Floor. What?

You fucking ran up the apartment steps, talked to a lady about everything on the Fourth Fucking Floor and came down? Fucking eat shit, dude. Did you do a fucking second or third draft ever? He and they find the 50 caliber slug in the garbage. Again, all this happens within seconds.

They figure out exactly what happened. They just don't know the who. We go back to the fucking bar, the bar. I and I go back to the fucking pub, and these brothers hang out with this, like, a towel this dude who's, like, tied in with the Italian mob. Rocco.

Yeah. Rocco, who's gonna be a very major player in this movie for better or worse, for worse. Let's say let's just say worse because he is a terrible fucking person as a character. Yeah. Well, they all are.

Oh, yeah. They're all awful. No one's redeemable in any way. The second they killed the cat, I was like, I wanna turn this movie off. Yep.

Like, I I don't How how many breaks did you take? Be honest. I think I only took two. Oh, we took same amount. I took two breaks of over five minutes where I was just like, I'm walking away.

I had to pee, and I had to refill my coffee at one point. Okay. But these is it these Russian dudes come into the bar. Yep. Now we see what happens.

Yeah. And they're, like, waving their big and and, again, there there's no information as to what these Russian dudes except they are muscling the bar the very typical bartender with they're, like, muscling him out of business, I guess. Yeah. Because they're gonna buy his building, and they they have to be outright. Who fucking knows?

Yeah. I I knows. No idea. But they then, like, beat the shit out of him, light the dude's ass on fire. Yeah.

And then there's all these camera spins and shit. And by the way, one of the hooligans in the bar that helps the brothers, is director, writer, and general slob Troy Duffy, and, like, his, at the time, bandmates that he was, like, fucking over and misleading and whatever. Like, this movie got to the point where it was, like, can you do this? Can you do this? Where they were going from talking to wait till you watch overnight, audience, and Ben, wait till you watch it.

It's gonna blow you away. Then these Russian dudes find where the brothers live and, like, come and, like, take like, wanna take out they wanna fucking kill them, I guess. And they tie one of them to a or they handcuff one of them to a toilet. And his genius plan after ripping the toilet out of the floor is to go to the roof and throw the toilet into the alleyway, narrowly missing and killing his brother, which could have easily done. Mhmm.

There's no way to aim a toilet that you're throwing off of a roof. Dude. And then jumping from a, like, six Six stories. And being fine. Event like, he maybe he hurt his leg a little bit, but he jumps onto a guy.

That's that's the plan. It goes from this insane shaky cam bar fight to them, like, jarringly, if you're the audience, like, waking up in the morning the following day. Because, again, now we're getting caught up to what happened Mhmm. That Willem Dafoe worked out for us. And Sean Patrick Flannery, the music right here, like, it goes from this fucking horrible fucking butt rock guitar shit in the bar to this, like, triumphant, like, I'm ripping a toilet full of shit and piss out all over my face and bleeding everywhere.

And the score goes crazy. And here's another fucking question. Why not kill his brother in front of him? If you wanna kill Norman Reedus, kill Norman Reedus in front of Sean Patrick Flannery. It's in the Why take him out?

Oh, because movie. Because bad lighting. Clearly, he I feel like clearly he had the set piece of throwing the toilet off the roof. Or I wanted shitty techno over shitty toilet shit? Trainspotting.

Oh. Dorm room poster. Good movie, though, too. Not a movie I look forward to rewatching at any point. But another one.

I was just thinking another one of the posters. Really good movie. Yeah. Good poster too. Good.

Good VHS jacket. This is where I'm already sick of the spinning camera. The camera work is so bad. All it does in this interrogation room, the brothers are arrested or turn themselves in. They turn themselves in.

They go they go to the hospital first, and, like, they're in robes, and they're, like, I don't know, flirting with the nuns, I guess. Yeah. I like the word bowl. It's just like trudging through this. Like, yeah, we just got our fucking asses kicked and just yeah.

I just them showing up to the police station and, like, this is everything that happened. We're innocent. And Willem Dafoe just, like, eating all of it up. And this fucking shit of the brothers, like, being, like, oh, we know Latin and we know Pig Latin and we know Italian. Yeah.

And we know Esperanto and Russian and Antarctic and and Pidgin and it's, like, this is fucking lame. This is the this is the kind of shit that when you sit down and talk to says, bone, sayonara, goodbye. I speak three languages. It's like, no. No.

You this is no. But this is the only attempt at giving them backstory. The only attempt. That their mom wanted them educated and understanding and yeah. Yeah.

It's like the only thing we learn about them until they before they decide to become angels of death. That they're the most righteous perfect people's assholes ever. It comes out of nowhere too. It's like because they just happened to kill two dudes, now they're ready to go on. This is why I was like, they must have experience in this field of killing people already because I don't they don't.

Maybe it's explained in the second one. I don't give a shit. This is the thing that's, like, weird to me. The first scene of the movie implies that they are tired of being good men and letting evil happen, and the movie clearly doesn't show any effect of the fact that they have become evil men at all at all. And so it's it's just it's a pretty It's not commenting.

Yeah. It doesn't it it doesn't even attempt to go into the other you know, you think about other, like, revenge movies or eight like like, The Crow or or The Professional or something. And it's like, those movies at least there's depth to the There's a level of psychology. Yes. Yeah.

Like, we're exploring the fact, like, oh, but is this doing this? Does that like, there's nothing about that. And they even have a fucking structure for it because there's Catholicism is what sort of is defines these characters. Yes. And they don't even use that to, like, come back to being like, are we doing the right thing?

We're sinning or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, there's nothing. Nope. Not at all.

Mad, Paul. It's such a dopey, fucking, simple, stupid, fucking movie. And the fact that the brothers are like, oh, can we just fucking stay in your fucking jail and use it as our hotel? And the cops are like, please, heroes, we would love for you to stay here. You're the fucking best.

We suck. You rule. Please do it. Two pound nuts on my face. And then as they keep killing, how do the cops not know immediately who's doing it?

Well, that that is my it's so funny you said that. That's my biggest question at the end of the movie. Like, how am I supposed to believe all this stuff that said about Willem Dafoe being a good man and a good cop and all this other bullshit where it's like, why can't you just put fucking one and one together, zero and zero together? Give me any fucking math equation that's ever existed that anyone could solve because it's the dumbest fucking thing in the world that they aren't found out immediately and on the run from the cops. That makes for a more interesting movie.

They're just unwittingly on the run from the cops. They have no idea that they're really on the run. They're very casual about it. Because Dafoe is painted as, this amazing detective or FBI agent. And He sees things, man.

He sees things. And also very the over the top needing to, like, show that he's gay. Just, you know, very, very heterocentric vision of what and then he's, like, super homophobic, which is a really interesting I think he's, like, self self hating, and I think that's, like, a that's a Troy Duffy thing, maybe. I don't know. Where it's like the the character is supposed to, I think, be written as a man's man, and then there's but he's gay, but there's, like, this level of seasoning on it that's like, well, no.

It like, the performance isn't saying that, but the writing doesn't always like, this whole thing just feels fucking confusing and confused. And I'm trudging through this thing and then fucking world famous sleazeball convicted rapist piece of shit, Ron Jeremy shows up Yeah. And goes on the scene with Rocco and now this guy who's Rocco's boss and part of the Italian mafia because the Italians and the Rocco's Russians are at what modern line. Great show. Can we please do that show on this show?

Better better better accents too. Way better. Dude, bring me Heifer. Heifer. Rocko.

Great show. Billy West some fine Billy West work. Oh, yeah. But Westworld. Oh, what do we do there?

But then Rocco tells this, like, dumb fucking joke that every fucking 10 or 12 year old that's anywhere near any other dumb fuck has heard and is not funny. And, like, ages like sour kids, it's just not clever or funny. But, like, also, why what is the he seems to be in trouble with the head boss of the Italian mob. I think he's like a fall guy. He's supposed to be a fall guy for something, or he knows too much, they say.

They basically send him to kill the rest of the Russian mob in that hotel room, but they I know we're get I'm getting ahead, but That's okay. The brothers are already on top of that, and they're, like, going full John McClane. Well, and I think that's the thing is he's Rocco's so dumb. He doesn't realize that he's either, a, a fall guy or, b, like, it is mentioned by one of the bosses. Like, he's gotta die.

He knows too much. If he ever turns state's evidence, we're all fucked. And so I think they were trying to set him up to get killed in that moment, but don't they also need those guys dead? Wasn't that gonna probably start like a war, like his attempt and failure? I don't know.

I I'll go back. We we gotta go back because like they the Saints show up to, of course, all these types of action movies, you know, Double Team with Van Damme or so many of these movies, like people gotta walk through and fucking pick out all their guns. They get it. Oh, yeah. And the big thing is, like, Sean Patrick Flannery needs a rope.

He's gotta have a rope. Sure. And it's like this sticking point that he just oh, you never know. Rope comes in handy. You always see it in these movies.

You gotta have a fucking rope. And they show up to this meeting of these Russian guys and the rope, of course, comes in handy immediately completely by fucking accident and happenstance when they infiltrate where the Russian mob is and break through the roof and are just tangled up in the rope because they were fighting and spin around and kill all these Russian mobsters with their silenced nine millimeters. Is okay. Is the boondock okay. Why is it called boondock is boondock the name of the neighborhood?

Or an area maybe, but, ultimately, I don't I don't care. I think it probably is the the area. They probably work at the boondocks where they have their fish fights. Oh. I give this movie half a fish fight.

Fuck this. Fuck this. So they go in fucking, you know, they arm up and they do their bullshit. And Willem Dafoe this is where the the performance, like, loses me and the movie goes from a star to a half a star is the rope tangle up and Willem Dafoe River Dancing and the movie, like, throwing the spice of the music on it. I'm like, I'm done.

I'm done. Yeah. I mean, the character is just starting to, like, just go into a, a different entirely different movie to give Chad GbT credit. But it also, like he's never so, like, the thing I love about Defoe in almost everything it pretty I think in everything. Fearless, man.

Fearless. That's what I love. Yeah. And he doesn't it's not like I ever don't believe him. Right.

It's that in this case, it doesn't need to be as big as it is. And I think that, to your credit, is directing. Because a better so big. A better director could rein that in a little bit more. I'm a funny guy.

But I think when you're a brand new director and you have Willem Dafoe, you're probably just like, yeah, man. Just, you know, go for it. K. Let's do some improvisational comedy. I can't now, Liam.

It's the bad time. Let's do some improvisational comedy. No. Yeah. Because how do you as a first time director say to Willem fucking Dafoe, like, hey.

Bring it back a notch. Or b, was that Troy Duffy being like, yeah, man. Keep going. Push it. Yeah.

Yeah. Just like, yeah, man. Fuck it. So do more. Do more.

Do more. I don't know. Yeah. Fuck it, dude. Yes.

But fuck it. That's your attitude to everything. Yeah. Get a job, sir. Like your parents said, you know what, mister Lebowski?

You never got a fucking job, you fucking gold bricker. Now the 2 pennies thing and all these dead Italian guys and and that whole scene, even the squibs you can see are popping in people's vests and, like, being squeezed in people's hands or what like, it's fucking terrible and the obligatory, fucking crappy, terrible black and white and the it's like they're like, oh, let's play a funny joke on our friend, Rocko. When we answer the door, let's act like we wanna fucking kill him. How funny is that? And it's like, I guess in south of your fucking Quincy, that's fucking hilarious.

And also yeah. I we start to learn that they they care so much about Rocco. Like, we know nothing about why how they know Rocco. A lot. They care a lot.

Like, are they just drinking buddies? Is that who Rocco is to them? A friend with weed is a friend indeed. That's what it fucking seems like to me. Yeah.

Like or he's somehow connect that's the thing is, like, they I don't think they have any care or concern about anybody's connection to anything until they start deciding to kill people. And how are they not getting caught immediately? They just shot up an entire hotel room. Everybody heard that. Bullet casings everywhere.

The like, where are the cops? Are they just walking out of this fucking hotel? They seem to be just meandering through the movie. It doesn't seem like there's any stakes for them. They always seem like ambling entertainment.

I just like it's even when the saints are sitting in, like, this camera's fucking spinning around and you're getting, like, fucking carsick watching a movie on your couch, and they're justifying their their vigilante justice in their Louisian Australian Vancouver. Welcome to Canada. Yay. Accents. And, like, this is the point where I'm just like, I'm just gonna laugh at this.

I can't be mad at this anymore. Like, why am I watching these fucking losers, like murderers that this cult of people have, like, made their heroes. And this organ music playing, like, they're having the time of their lives, like, getting drunk playing cards and shooting a fucking cat. Like, what the fuck is this? It's just who is this for?

It's so horribly written. This is for no one. Awful. This is for the JD Vance's in the world. Like, where where you get carsick on your couch and you get a boner and you're gonna finish it.

Like, nothing about these dumb fucks and their dumb fuckery makes me wanna pull for their dumb fuck cause, and I don't even know what that is. It's like when Rocco comes back after he just, like, murders some dudes in a diner because they're like, oh, yeah. Those Italian guys were gonna let you go in with that gun and get killed. Yeah. And he kills the bartender and kills, and he comes back and he the the weird, like, friend and girlfriend who are saying things at the same time for some reason.

He's like a fucking meth storm of coke and meth and meth and coke and ice and fucking he's just tearing the apartment apart. Like, we gotta go. We gotta go now. Grabbing everything in the apartment. Saying, I killed your cat.

And are we supposed to are we supposed to be endured? Like, are we supposed to care about this person? Who is this? Funny? Fuck you lucky charms.

Is this so funny? This movie is not even this movie isn't even a snicker. It's not even half a laugh. It's not even a fun size snicker. It's not a sack snack size snicker.

How about that nothing. She the movie I want is the movie where the cat comes back, like like, crow style and takes up, like, pets and tree. Yeah. I would watch that business. Yeah.

Because that cat was fucking awesome and didn't deserve that. Pretty cat. It was a very pretty cat. Fucking Rocco, by the way, when he shoots those guys, it reminds me of the guest a little bit. But in The Guest, at least they have the decency where it's like, hey, here's this, like, horrible thing.

We're gonna shoot it and make it look like it's horrible and maybe it's kinda funny, but we're gonna play some fucking Stevie b just to lighten the mood. And in this movie, it's just fucking shitty fucking butt rock guitar shit. Like, it's like what the fuck is happening? Like, this movie was 1999, not 1986. I feel like we have, we're gonna we're trying to hit as many fucks in this episode as this movie.

Maybe that was the thing is he was just trying to piss people off as much as he possibly could. Mission accomplished. Maybe I'm not giving this enough credit. Oh, where is that? Trauma trauma trauma?

Trauma? Yeah. Yeah. Like, the toxic avenger and Yeah. Fortress of America KKK and all that shit.

Yeah. I some of that shit does have some relevance to it, which this has none. Yeah. This has none. I keep coming back to how how has this movie survived the test of time and still in, like, the conversation?

Because I think because there will always be people that love liars, that love fables, that love legends, that love lies, that love the idea of some person that doesn't speak 10 languages or kill people or anything being like, yeah. I kill people in them. I speak sick languages. I can't speak any of them to you now. They're all secret.

Like, it's like people that act like that, I think, love this fucking movie. So now the Italian mob oh, first, they they're gonna go kill someone. Are they gonna kill Ron Jeremy at the strip club? Yep. Of course.

Yep. After they tell Rocco, we're gonna kill this guy. This is the real deal. It's like, yeah. He just murdered three people in broad fucking daylight.

He understands. That whole scene is unnecessary. Yeah. They're like, no. This is real, man.

We gotta go we gotta go after these guys. It's like, he just fucking shot three people. Damn it. Damn it. This movie.

Then, again, Willem Dafoe, like, shows them how he they do it and figures out, oh, he crossed his arms when he shot with the guns. Also, again, one another time, they shoot a man in a fucking jerk off booth in a strip club, and two other people walk into the other booths after a man has been shot. The entire place would hear that. The cops would be there. Like, what are we why do we just keep pretending like they can just do something and there's literally no repercussions?

There's no ramifications in this world. Yeah. None. Like They're just because they have one set in the strip club, and they can't show us anybody else in the strip club working there because they don't have fucking anything else. Well because it's like, why are there other people walking into a booth?

They just heard someone fucking die. And this is, like, where Rocco, who already is, like, pretty fucking deplorable and not salvageable as a character, like, grabs a fucking unconscious woman's tit. Yeah. And it's, like, the it's not funny. They think it is.

This is I never found this movie funny. No. Never ever. That's the thing is like, to a degree, there's a part of me that's like, if you're a young person where it's like, oh, look at the pea coats and the silenced guns and the spiky hair and attitude attitude attitude attitude. And it's like attitude means shit.

It means nothing. Yeah. It means nothing. Especially in art, it essentially means They think this is a high t movie. Absolutely, they do.

4PM, four twenty, turn it on every day. You'd have to turn on at least 04:20, Jesus, to get through any of it, which I know from experience. So now, Il Duce, as the Italians call him or the Duke, shows up. And this is where I wrote Benjamin, notes are done. And then I wrote, wait, wait, wait, maybe not.

I can't get over this. Am I supposed to feel bad for any of these people, especially this Rocco fuck who they have been captured? Mhmm. Like, there's a big firefight now. I I have, like, very sparse notes from here.

I don't have a lot of desire to talk a lot more about this movie. It kinda comes into goes into a fever dream of repetitive beats of them getting captured and then escaping. A firefight. And they somehow walk out onto the patio of just, like, a house, and then fucking Sir Billy shows up? Yeah.

Sir Billy Billy himself. He looks great, by the way. He does look great. They just stand across the yard shooting at each other, without It's a firefight everyone. Without finding cover at all.

Nobody do nobody goes to cover. And he loses a finger. Yeah. There's one person who gets struck or they they all get kinda, like, grazed Yeah. And someone loses a finger.

They're literally standing 20 feet away from each other just like, dude, we and the the Boondock Saints are using $800,000 handguns that, like, could shoot the head off of a nail from 30 feet. Like, it's fucking dumb. Even from just Nobody's getting shot. Like, I'm so At all. Confused.

There's no stakes. There's no Nope. Repercussions. Nobody no. Nobody's coming out of their house to be like, what the fuck's going on?

The cops aren't showing up. Ben, you're wrong. Because Ilducay, the duke, who was removed from prison by the power of the mob to kill the saints, to stop their crusade, to make it their last crusade as young as they are. So I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. The pen is my tier.

My tier. And the sword. And the sword. We we find out through a fucking prayer that who they were in this big firefight hey. Firefight with is their dad.

I'm so bored. It's their dad. I don't Paul? Let's wrap it. Let's wrap it up.

Let's wrap this up. You know, let's do what my dad told me. Wrap it up. Wrap it up, b. Wrap it up.

They walk into the fucking courtroom, the Saints and their dad. They execute an Italian mob star guy, and in a moment where you could have one of these characters saying all this dialogue, maybe two, the dialogue magically bounces between monologues between these three characters. They know exactly where to pick up and how or whatever and blah blah blah. It's like they rehearsed it before they left the fucking house, and they're yelling the entire time. Everyone.

Exactly. There was a fire fire. And the camera's spinning the whole fucking time. But we did miss. We missed Rocco's dead, by the way.

Right. But we missed don't care. Somehow very convincing Willem Dafoe drag performance. Oh, yeah. That somehow not not one, but two full grown adult human adult men see this and think that is definitely a woman, and I am very attracted to them.

One of them says Mario's always getting us the top shelf pussy. And clearly, it's like, oh, cool. Well, that's Willem Dafoe. Just so you know, that's famous actor Willem Dafoe. I'd like to go over the movies he's been in just recently, often including speed two.

You can very clearly see it. Dafoe control. That is not top shelf pussy. Yeah. That is Even if even if you don't think it's a man right away, you cannot in any in any capacity Look at him and go, oh, that's top shelf.

But it's just that it's not just one person. It's two men. Two guys. You doing a twofer? Yeah.

Like, if it was just one guy who hadn't ever gotten laid and was like, oh, yeah. I need to get but, no. It's two guys. And the thing that clues him into being not Oh. Is when he sees his wig pop up a little bit.

A little bit. Not a lot. And it's like, well, what did you look at his face at all? Or the or the control top pantyhose holding his what Lars von Trier has referred to as uncomfortably large penis His hand like, there's nothing convincing at all. Offense at all.

Yeah. No. We're doing, like, master of disguise. Doodle. Doodle.

If the only thing that could have gotten this movie to a one accent from a half accent is when the wig came off, Willem Dafoe went, turtle, turtle, and then gave the guy in the balls. Oh, oh, no. Wait. There's two things. When the wig came off, if the guy went, oh, no.

Famous actor, Willem Bafoe. Surprise. Surprise. I was like, that was that entire sequence, I was like, what in the living fuck am I watching right now? Oh my god.

It just it's like Will and Steve Buscemi are two actors that you can't you can't mask who they are. And I've seen both in drag. Yeah. It's just I don't have any more words to describe how I feel about that moment. Oh my lord.

Okay. So, the movie ends. The brothers and their dad blow a guy's head off in a courtroom, and they're seen as the Boondock Saints is is told by interviews mostly done by Troy Duffy's friends and family and bandmates from the Brood or what became the Boondock Saints. And a lot of people who clearly aren't actors because Oh, yeah. No.

No. I was so thankful when the credits started rolling. Oh my god. It's an awful movie. Here we are at the very end.

Let's rerate it. I I don't know. One of us who could change? This was the one accent I dad, no. Don't do it.

The one accent I didn't hear, I think, was a walk in. Chip? Dad, no. Chip dad. No.

It's our chip dad. I'm gonna go down to, and I'm gonna change my, ranking system because that cat, I'm gonna retcon it. That cat, comes back to life and seeks revenge. I mean, Rocco comes back in the second one somehow, so why can't the cat? Wait.

He does? Yep. Somehow, Palpatine returned. I don't know why I care. I'm gonna say this is a half I'm gonna watch it.

This is a half Dafoe in a wig. Goddamn it. Okay. I was gonna change my my rating system to half a Willem Dafoe because I'm pretty sure that's Willem Dafoe, but I'm not 100% sure. So Either either that's Willem Dafoe either that's Willem Dafoe with David Dasher or that's top shelf pussy.

It's one of the two. Those are my two options. Coexist, but in this case, I'm sticking with my half accent. Clearly, if I could give it a zero, I'd give it a zero. Sit back, my friend.

Give Raphael some pain. I would. Tis a pity I forgot me novocaine. Like, Letterboxd doesn't let me do that. Finishing a movie clearly is very hard and if you watch overnight which I did a pretty good job avoiding talking about for the most part.

Wow. Good job me because I thought I was gonna reference it a lot more. Yeah. If I could give this movie a zero, I would give it a zero, especially when you watch overnight, which I will note that the director, Troy Duffy, says is a smear campaign. It's all lies.

It's bullshit. It was edited and used against him and whatever. You watch that movie overnight. The man, Troy Duffy, and this movie are both, like, unsalvageable. Bad news all the way around.

I'm not surprised. Surprise. Yeah. Not at all. Right?

Yeah. Ben, I I mostly had a pretty good time talking about this when we were able to get get around, like, talking about the movie and discover other things. Like, who is Willem Dafoe? Is that Willem Dafoe? I think I think that might be Willem Dafoe.

I feel like there's never been a movie that you haven't wondered if it's like, you know immediately it's Willem Dafoe. Yes. Yes. There's never been a moment where you're like, oh, I was that Willem Dafoe in that movie? Yeah.

He doesn't turn around, and you're like, oh my god. Chris Pine. Like Yeah. Oh, man. Goodness gracious.

It's Bruce Lee. No. It's like no. Well, Ben, we did it. I so I have good news.

Yep. We're gonna roll the credits here. Well, happy Saint Patty's Day. Happy Saint Patrick's Day. Oh, no.

I did that wrong. I learned from this movie. Let me do an Irish accent. Happy Saint Patrick's Day. Hey.

Happy. Hey. Happy Saint Patrick's Day. I Pretty good. That good?

Yeah. It's pretty pretty pretty authentic to the movie. I'd say. Pretty pretty Pretty good. Pretty good.

Our book and themes are Jamie Henwood. Our interstitials are the gentleman sitting just right next to me. Our, Willem Dafoe's are tied together because we're in the same room, and we're only about eight feet apart from each other. So that's not a problem. What are we watching and what you've been doing are Matthew Foskett.

And our fun facts theme is Chris Olds. Please don't hesitate to text us. Ben, if people want to follow you, how would they do that? They can follow me at run b m c on Instagram and Letterboxd, and they should follow us at review x two podcast. I couldn't agree more.

You can follow me. That's up to you. Spend your time how you value it. I would prefer you just follow this podcast and list this podcast because that's great. My Letterboxd, but it's Paul acts badly.

And you know what? Is that Willem de Foe? That's the cat stoop. Oh. It's back.

Next pat Saint Patrick's Day, we'll we'll do something better. We'll do leprechaun back to the hood or something. We'll do something good. I'm here for it. Bye, everybody.

Bye. Hi, everyone. This is JJ, the cofounder of Goodpods. If you haven't heard of it yet, Goodpods is like Goodreads or Instagram, but for podcasts. It's new, it's social, it's different, and it's growing really fast.

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