RETROSPECTICUS 2 - Yabba Dabba Do! We Like Yappin' at You!

WOW. What a year! It's finally time for "RETROSPECTICUS 2: Yabba Dabba Do! We Like Yappin' at You!." Featuring 18% new audio, and the other 82% has 66% more junk stuffed into it! It's barely recognizable/like new!

**All episodes contain explicit language**
Artwork - Ben McFadden
Review Review Intro/Outro Theme - Jamie Henwood
"What Are We Watching" & "Whatcha been up to?" Themes - Matthew Fosket
"Fun Facts" Theme - Chris Olds/Paul Root
Lead-Ins Edited/Conceptualized by - Ben McFadden
Produced by - Ben McFadden & Paul Root
Concept - Paul Root

Transcript

Hi. It's Paul, and I wanna welcome you to the review review. Retrospecticus 2, yabadabadoo. We like yapping at you. This 30% new episode to start the 15% new year is 100% good times for you and yours.

Oh, Ben, that sounds stupendous. Let's, let's keep the new year starting off right as a new or returning review review podcast listener and get yourself super familiar or refamiliarized with our fabulous second season. This episode is filled with some of our favorite, least favorite, and random moments from the program for your listening pleasure. Oh, oh, and don't forget to tell them. Stick around after our big bonanza of bits and clips for our picks from this last season that, extends slightly beyond universe on occasion.

So sit back, relax on your favorite OnlyFans and Couch's furniture, spark a joint, grab your foot long cookie, and get 2 present for this action packed episode that's full of surprises. Or if you're a regular listener, no surprises. None at all. So here's to a great 2025 to you, the listener, and to me, me. Enjoy enjoyment of me.

Enjoy me. Hello everyone. 'Tis I, Ben. Did you know I am also a producer of 1448 Hollywood, the world's quickest theater festival? What is that, you ask?

Well, good question. 1448 Hollywood is one of Hollywood's most exciting nights of live theater. We bring together artists of all disciplines from all over Los Angeles to collaborate and create 14 world premiere plays in just 48 hours. Talk about a pressure cooker. Come both nights and see 7 new plays each night.

Here's the gist. We gather 7 writers, 7 directors, 25 ish actors, and a handful of designers and musicians on Thursday night. We draw a random theme suggested by one of our participants that finishes the following sentence. I would like to see 7 plays about blank. The writers are sent off to write a 10 minute play based on that theme.

By 8 AM the next morning, writers submit their plays. Each director then draws a play and their cast at random. We rehearse. We block. We score.

We design. We build. We panic. We calm down. And then at 7:30 PM, we perform 7 world premiere plays twice again at 9:30.

And if that's not enough, we do it all over again with a new set of plays and a new theme on Saturday. What can we say? We can't get enough. Oh, and the best part? All tickets are pay what you can because we believe, truly believe, that theater should be accessible to everybody.

1448 Hollywood, the world's quickest theater festival, is January 31st February 1st at 7:30 and 9:30 PM, both nights at the Broadwater Mainstage. Follow us on Instagram at 1448 Hollywood. That's at 1448 Hollywood, or visit 1448hollywood.org for more information. Oh, and be sure to come early or stay a little late to enjoy a drink at the Broadwater Plunge and say hi to me, Ben, your favorite host, your favorite host of the review review. Thank you, and we'll see you at the theater.

Wait. Let me put the key in. You're gonna drop the hammer? Click click. Go on the outside.

No. Don't go on the outside. Go on the outside. Don't go on the outside. Program.

Set of match tires. They're staggered perfect. You hold it on the outside. We're already blown out the speakers just like this movie did to my ears. Hey, it's me.

I'm Paul. I'm Ben. Enjoying a delicious beverage. It's a tea. Not an ice cream bar.

No. We have a guest with us. Hi. I'm Travis. I am acquaintances slash friends with, these guys.

Any other qualifiers you wanna give to people? No. Nothing like that. I'm I'm vastly underqualified for this. You're like I love that.

Rooting for them their family. So we meet Willow. We meet Kya. We meet their kids. They're our little farm, and we meet this fucking asshole, dude.

Burgle. Berglucut. Berglucut. Berglucut. What are they doing?

Are incredible. Yeah. I'd like to read off some of the names. Please do. Should I okay.

Berglucut, Migosh. Yeah. Is Migosh the Samwise? Yes. Yeah.

Okay. But not. Like Not as great. Samwise would never Sure. Yeah.

Be like, okay. Well, good luck. I'm going home. Bro. I'm out.

They got burritos. We made it to the town of Brie, and I'm out here. But it's okay, Migosha. You know, I understand. I do I do like, this is interesting to me because I know that, Ian Fleming, his his idea for James Bond, he was Hoagie Carmichael.

That's who he wanted to he he's he wouldn't suggest it. He wanted a fucking Subway sandwich to play James Bond? Yes, Paul. Who's Hoagie Carmichael? Sorry.

Can we go to the judges on that one? Who's that? Yeah. No. They said that's Can you provide context for who that is, though?

You said that was some some singer or actor or singer actor from the Or sandwich. Who knows? Or could be a sandwich. Footlong cookie. Foot footlong cookie.

Oh, I've been to that one since. Oh, we lost him. He's Hi, guys. Yes. Trying trying to figure out trying to figure out how you guys my how my wife's nickname for me.

Does she use that in front of your kids? Dave, fact sheet. Fact sheet. Well, I mean, she says FLC in front of the kids. Folk.

Folk. Okay. Give me the full. 2 where are we at? We're, Scary attack too.

We did that. That's right. You have Bruce Campbell gets into the beef fight. Little tirade there. I just I went on again.

You're good. It happens on this show. We do that. But, yeah, he uses the bed pan to trap it, and then it does a little, like, Tom Cruise, hang out in the in the bed pan. Little scared of dust.

That is the only frame I have it paused on right now in my window here. That is the exact frame I have. Fun fun fact that was actually Tom Cruise. Yeah. Oh, cool.

This is where he, like, is getting off the train. He goes through, like, the LA red line station or whatever, like, no. I mean Wouldn't that be great? Yeah. Like, tremendous pain it was and quiet.

Like, it was crowded, but it was quiet. There wasn't someone masturbating next to you. Yeah. It was weird. The last time I was on public transit with this guy, that was, having a having, A time?

Having a go on? Some drugs. Oh. And, it must have been meth because it is meth the one where you get distort like, your your your gravity gets weird? I'm glad you asked Paul.

Yeah. Yeah. Meth? Very specifically, like, Paul. What's meth like?

You did play a meth head on 1. Picking at my one tooth. You were on Grim. You played a meth head. It's true.

Yeah. Yeah. Pinky, Pinklyn Williams. RIP. But he was, I think, on meth or methadone, and he just was really struggling.

He had a ice cream. Oh. And it was like the ice cream had been there for a while. And he was just melting all over his arm. He couldn't he couldn't get it to his mouth until finally he just grabbed the ice cream part with his other hand I'm just kidding.

Just threw it on the ground. No. That's a waste. And then, like and then it well, I think it gave him some peace because he was able to, like, not worry about that. That chapter.

I guess. This is incredible. Taste the ice cream. I have a question. Do you have a story about how you met Jay Leno?

I, I'll I'll tell you this for free. Top 5 films this year, Lord of the Rings return of the king, Finding Nemo, The Matrix reloaded, The Pirates of the Caribbean, The curse of the black pearl Case in point. Bruce almighty freaky Friday finished 33rd. So that was an f, an f, an f, and a 3 and a 3. We're gonna put the I had a feeling we might.

Yeah. That's the new Billy Zane. Now you got drums and bop bops all over each other. Have you heard our award music? Don't make me do that too.

Oh. It's just simple. It sounds like the saddest award. It's just like It's a potty. It sounds like someone booing us.

I love it. I should change the tone so it just goes boo. It sounds like the saddest ghost in history that just gave up mid boo. I don't even you're boring to haunt. I'm not even gonna ghost anymore.

Alien ghost. This is got a weird pronunciation of boo. Oh my lord. It's good times. Burrus Europe.

The skunk sat on the stump. The stump thunk, the skunk, stunk, and the skunk thunk, the stump stunk. What to do to die today at a minute or 2 till 2? A thing distinctly hard to say but harder still to do. For the beat a tattoo, a 20 to 2, a rat a t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t Lester licks Lionel's lusty leathers.

You ever realized, like, the first season of Ted Lasso is is this? Yes. I have realized that. I was going to mention that. I'm glad you did.

Different. Yeah. Yeah. But in terms of, like, a major pushing plot device forward. Major League is r rated and very grounded in terms of professional athletes, I think.

Mhmm. I think. I'm not a professional athlete. I've only made the XFL Mhmm. XFL Mhmm.

And the squirrel water skiing. ESPN 8. Theocho. Somebody's gotta control that boat. Somebody's gotta control that boat the squirrel's on, baby.

Theocho. The Yo, Joe. Let's take another look, Pepper. Hey. Another movie with someone named Pepper.

Dodgeball in this movie. Yeah. That's a bold move, Cotton. We'll see where it goes. Let's see how it works out for him.

For him. That was, like, part of the, Jason Bateman renaissance. Yeah. The Arrested Development in that movie, I think. The Bateman Bateman Bateman Renaissance?

Yeah. Only the best from Bateman Essence. Yeah. Okay. So we're gonna do cinephile.

Let's do it. For those of you who are just joining us, cinephile is a card game that has an actor on it and a movie. And then we go around the horn trying to name a movie that actor was in until that person goes out. So here we go. Oh, it is have we done this one?

I don't know if we have done this one. Cate Blanchett. I don't think so. Okay. You get the freebie.

The freebie is Jesus. I feel like an old man. It's yellow, though. It is yellow. It's hard to read the font, people.

Carol. Okay. Carol. Carol. Carol.

Carol. Blue Jasmine. I'm gonna go with Thor Ragnarok. Good. No.

I'm freezing. How to train your dragon 2? I think that's right. Yes. I'll take it.

Don't look up. Shit. That was I I lost. That was my next one. I swear to you.

I'll just concede defeat. It's you, Paul. When was you what's your first experience with the Major League? So we play this game called cinephile where, well, you will pull a card. It'll have an actor on there and a movie.

You get to get that freebie. We'll then go around, and we each have to name a movie that actor was in. Okay. 1st person to freeze, which we all do because Oh, yeah. The pressure hits us, has to give their first experience with this movie and their initial rating as well as their new experience of the movie and their new rating if they have one.

And then we will go around the horn. It's just a fun little thing. It's fun. It's for fun. Fun facts.

Fun facts, everybody. It's fun fact time. Around the corn nuts. So you get to pick. Would you like my left or right?

Left. My left. This is a hilarious drawing of a grimacing Harvey Keitel. Okay. Can I just go ahead and read the Freebie movie?

Bad Lieutenant. City of Industry. Reservoir Dogs. Mother Jugs and Speed. Mean Streets.

Oof. I may it might be me. I might be the frozen one. Hold on. Now I'm gonna freeze.

Yeah. It's me. Oh, okay. Do you wanna cinch it? Did you have one in the in the holster there, Chris?

I keep Okay. But, dude, please look at this photo. I mean, it's a I gotta see this. What the fuck? This is great podcast material too.

Yeah. Everybody Oh, this is 100% when he's smearing his dick all over the window in bad lieutenant. Oh my god. That's the face. Looks like I need to see bad lieutenant.

She said to me Oh. That your dad my dad has passed. RIP. She said your dad says hi, scooter butt. I have never told anyone that my dad called me scooter butt because I and it's not like a they're a bear, like, you would that would come to you.

That's a fucking great nickname though. That's a great He's a he's a funny man. A funny man. Made me believe in psychics. I can't wait for you to be my mom and for you to be my new mom.

I Wow. Paul wants Paul wants is wonderful. Paul wants me to be his daddy. I mean Oh, boy. That's why we started this podcast.

Daddy. Anyway, Sarah brought us a movie, which we're gonna talk about ad nauseam. It is a movie called twister. And before we get too far to that, I have to ask Paul, how are you? Piece of shit.

Yes. Damn it. Yes. Okay. Sometimes maybe we shouldn't do it to the guest first.

We we are really good at surprising and upsetting guests if we can pound that even more. I think every time they're on this podcast, they're surprised and upset. Yeah. I I'm dealing with everything. I know I would be.

I'm bigger than No. I'm whatever. I drove over here listening to the Schwarzenegger movie soundtrack sounds, and I drove like an absolute maniac. And I really enjoyed the shit out of it. That's me.

That's you? That's me today. Sarah, how are you? This is the hardest question to answer. Medium?

Okay. It was the solar eclipse today. Yeah. So what kind of psychic magic is happening in the air? We don't know.

And I also have an 18 month old baby. So it's day to day. It's second by second. I'm okay? Yeah.

Totally a valid response. Okay. It's fine. Yeah. Just give me a Yeah.

And stuff. I realized we made a mistake because we should have been doing Twilight Eclipse as the movie today. We absolutely should, and that movie is a piece of shit. It's a we had to make one mistake one time at some point. Yeah.

And, apparently, not watching it piece of shit was the mistake. We're all we're all having the wrong drink for this movie. We all should be having martinis with a twist. With a twist. Damn it.

We made a mistake. But we not have a like Bill Paxton so we can have smell twisters of the Speaking of RIT, man By the way, Ben, like I know. So you're not doing well because you don't have the cocktails you want? I'm doing pretty good. I mean, I got to theme for cocktails?

I got to actually watch the eclipse with proper headwear, unlike, our former president. Cool photo, by the way. My eyes, the goggles do nothing. Yeah. I I got to, like, put on the actual glasses and watch it, and I was just like people kept taking pictures of me.

They're like, you're not even moving. You're just staring at it. I was like, this is fucking nuts, you guys. I don't know about you, but, like, this is fucking cool. Yeah.

And I love it. I'm a huge avatar, the last airbender nerd. So I'm like, we have to attack the fire fire nation right now. Firebenders get their power from the sun. So this is the time you attack.

That kinda jazzed me up. I was really digging that eclipse. It was it was cool. I will say, I wine drunk ordered a spaceship disco ball a couple of nights ago by accident, and it came yesterday. And the eclipse hit it, and my whole room was filled with little half moon.

Yeah. That's very cool. Little rustle. So I was like, oh, okay. This is magic.

That was meant to happen. And Oh, yeah. That clients, baby. How he, like, regenerated, and now we're degenerating back to the, like, juicy mummy part and pulled in. Hey, everyone.

You're familiar with this new tradition here. It's Paul from The Edit and Sand. Hi, Sand. I think it's really important to note the juicy mummy part. Really getting in.

I think it's important it gets its proper recognition that this happens. And how a juicy mummy part, considering how dry mummy is. Thanks for tuning into the retrospectiveist 2. We appreciate it so much. Please don't forget to like, subscribe at reviewx2podcast on Instagram atpaulaxbadly@runbmc on letterbox.

Listen to us on good pods. And right now, say goodbye, Sand. I I guess I'm gonna defend this in this moment to whatever degree. The performance is so good that I feel that his immortal soul gets carried off, and there's this thing that carries over through the Vaslu body language of, like, I'm not dead. Yeah.

I'm not dead. And he just goes after Brandon Fraser as we were saying he was, like, toying with him. Like, he's just gonna continue with his behavior. Yeah. And then he walks into the knife, like, the sword.

He walks into it. Confident. I am pretty sure she says he's mortal after the blade has entered him. Yeah. And so it's like a hoisted by your own petard sort of a thing.

Like, your ego, your arrogance fucking killed you. Yeah. Rick O'Connell didn't nobody you killed you to a degree. And it actually it carries for me. It floats for me in terms of this movie.

That's an appropriate word. But, like, it works well. And the escape, you gotta have, like, that whole place coming down Well, and And then, like, a ticking clock. And Jonathan trips in the book of mom and ra goes in the water, and then we have the moment of Evie coming back with, the book, can we just no. The Lily Grail?

Oh, yeah. Grab her and come back. And then they go into the treasure room, and Jonathan's like, can we just? And they both go back. No.

And grab it. It's a great bit. It's fun. And Benny being the greedy fucking bastard who triggered the whole syncing of this Yeah. With one little trigger that is just randomly out.

It puts the There's no there's no sign satchel on it. Pretty fucking random. Like, there's nothing there to say, like, don't press this. But it's just a lovely moment of put the weighted satchel on there, beat It's a very Indiana Jones thing. Raiders.

And even at this point, Rick is still trying to help Benny. Yeah. He's like, come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. The thing's sinking, and he's trying to grab Benny Jones. Many times he's been stabbed in the back of his head, man. It just closes, and he goes for the last time, he goes, goodbye, Benny. Brandon fucking Fraser, man.

Another moment I wish I could rewrite a little bit is when Benny I get why we get the surrounded by bugs. It's a very, like, horror y moment and the flame goes out. Yeah. But how more horrifying would it be like that. If he just had to, like, be in there for eternity?

Just now I'm I'm gonna die really slowly. I'm gonna die of thirst Yes. In this room of treasure. It's mentioned surrounded by everything I've wanted this whole time. It's mentioned in this movie as well as Dune.

This is the desert. Gold is invaluable with these people. Water. Water Yeah. Is valuable to these people.

And something I learned about the Friday 13th reboot produced by everybody's favorite in this room, Michael Bay. There is a cutscene where Derek Mears, who brilliantly plays Jason Voorhees, just waits someone out on the shore of the lake for them to drown. Mhmm. And they cut the scene. And it's so good.

And to your point, McFadden, I want that. Yeah. Like, I let the the scarabs are fun enough or whatever in him. Like, there's one scarab and then there's a 1,000. It's like, okay.

But I had the exact same thought that you did where he just, like, the torch goes out and it's over again. Yeah. He's just alone in the dark. It's more satisfying. Surrounded by the thing he's wanted the whole time.

Yeah. It's more satisfying. And then the moment, finally, I guess we got away with nothing. I guess we don't get anything. He's like, I wouldn't say that.

And we get Ah, smooth, Rick. Smooth. It's a great romantic ending. And The Magi dude's still alive. Oden Fair made it out because of course he did.

Because they need him for the sequel. Well, and it's like he knows that place like the back of his hand. I think that's been his whole life. Right? His dedication to this whole the temple, the whole deal.

The Majay salute you because you brought this thing back. So it's all your fault. And you killed a lot of my men. Almost all of them actually. I'm the only one left.

But you know what? Mad respect. I salute you. The last letter I that she taught me respect and for the rule of the habit that I know she'll get. Mother, there is no other.

Mad respect to you, dawg. You're the man now, dawg. I killed a lot of your people. You killed a lot of my people. You killed all of my people.

You killed all of my people after me. You left me for dead. Yeah. But you got it done. How does Tom Cruise escape with Agatha?

Wally lets him go. Well, I think Wally just lets him go the way they came in. No. No. No.

He goes, hey, Agatha. Remember that movie starring Jim Carrey called The Mask where you can you can just flush yourself out of any scene. Oh, that's right. And he flushes himself out of the scene. There's I forgot the part about the ship wearing mask mask.

This is as Danny Whitmore has now taken over looking at the crime scene. Yeah. And he's looking at the crime scene, and they've they've thought there's 3 people there. There's there's the guy who shoots. There's John, and then there's the man that's And none of them wanna help him.

No. Wanna help Whit were at all. We don't like Witwer. And he's not at this point. There's 4 people here.

Mhmm. And then he, like, sees like, he does a quick, you know, a You're a bastard. Blade Runner enhance. Enhance. Yeah.

Enhance. What does that look like to you? And he's like, it looks like a female. And he's like, that's Agatha, and that's the moment that He's a good detective, and he makes it clear at a couple different points. Like, I'm not shitty at this.

He's coming back. It which is like to get you. Something that endears me to him anyway. Okay. Now do I please you do the line so well of, like, the automated system at the gap.

Hello, mister Yamamoto. How are those assorted tank tops? I just love where he's gone Agatha and he's stealing clothes for her and stuff. And it's still even as he's stolen this assume you assume he's dead, this dead man's eyes, like, everything is just trying to sell to him. It's amazing.

The trip through the mall which was filmed in a way. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. I had to look it up.

I was like I think I've been to this mall and it's I love the way Is it weirdly the same mall from like Jackie Brown? I don't know. Every time I don't know? It's in like central LA. It's probably the same one as commando.

Her like being able to precog everything about the chase. The fun and games have begun. Wait. Yeah. But we still gotta go we still gotta go to Rufus.

You know? Yeah. We gotta go we gotta go peep into Agatha's mind. Oh, right. That's right.

Before we go to the mall. Yeah. Oh, they go to the VR thing before the mall? Paul. Yeah.

No. No. No. It's all insane. Paul.

Because we gotta go see about what's in her mind. Yeah. We we pull out the same Yeah. The weird VR sex murder fantasy club. Yeah.

It's kinda odd. Because people in strange days I have not. I have not. The Kathryn Bigelow movie. Watch that movie.

But Witwer is onto it because he's, like, is this system that John has is, like, privately made to to, like, look at his own memories. And Yeah. And he just opens a picture of the keyboard, and it's got a picture of the guy that made it. It's but it's good detective work. Some of it is a little convenient.

We'll say that, but it's also pointed out by at a point. I just thought that by the way, the guy in the VR place that, like, the p the the precogs and everything, did anybody notice he has a triangle tattoo? I'm not a I'm not a fan person. Just saying. There were some things as I was going through some facts about this movie that were, like, oh, shit.

I'm impressed. Think about it. They they have the fight scene where they're climbing the walls of the hallway. And they're obviously in real life turning that Yeah. Turning that into that.

It's like Nightmare on Elm Street. That's That's not cheap. Seamless. It's seamless. And it's seamless.

Yeah. And they're they're on this they're flying. They're on the ceiling. Yeah. A couple times you could tell they're on, you know, strings because, you know, that's camp.

But them up up in the corner of the ceiling, like, that's so cool. Oh my god. That whole sequence Before we with the cops. I'm gonna give it 4. I'm gonna give it 4.

We're in the 4:4. We're in the 4 we're in the trifecta, y'all. Before we start the movie, I just wanna real quick touch on this, why I think for me the series is stronger and get and is gets stronger. And for me, it's the anchor of Guillermo. I think that's the action of the show.

Yeah. That's what the story is the show is about is Guillermo. Because their assistant and the familiar in the OG movie, she's a b character Yeah. Where Guillermo's an a character. Yeah.

Right. I agree. Yeah. They really saw something there, I think, and pulled because that's the conflict of the whole show here. Yeah.

Yeah. I also wanna give a shout to I'm forgetting the name of the actor. He plays Nate on The Office, and he plays the emotional vampire, Robin someone Robinson. Yeah. Colin Robinson.

Colin Robinson. Yeah. Thank you. Adding the emotional vampire and speaking essentially to the culture. Energy vampire.

Now. Yeah. The energy vampire. But speaking to today's culture, adding that character is so fucking key. It's so clutch.

Yeah. Or it's like, oh, by the way, there are different types of know this person. Yeah. Exactly. Call.

It makes it makes it more relatable. Rob's having a great time apparently. And also, like, when they go He's stolen his soul. When they go so meta with, like, the vampire, like, counsel and, like, Wesley Snipes and, like It's so good. It's, you know, like, all these references.

Danley for foot cycle. It just it it really understands exactly what it's doing and it just keeps fucking hitting home runs every season. Last fun fact. Not even Tom Hanks knew when he was going to be done peeing in the first scene when he goes in and meets the team. Penny Marshall was in the stall with a hose and a bucket making the noise, which I think is hilarious because That's incredible.

Commit. You know? Like, if you don't know when it's gonna be over. I think that's great. That's so fun.

Too. And then Like, pros pros. Yeah. And so fun for the cast Good sports. To have to just be there and be presence.

Yeah. On levels of good sports. Yeah. Sarah, we have a surprise. Our surprise is if you were to guess, what is the log line of this movie?

And it's something that you can create right now off top of your head. Yeah. Pitch this k. You know, in in a elevator ride. Pitch it.

1st floor to the first floor. Yeah. Pitch it. Yeah. Rise ball?

K. Alright. Okay. While the men are off at war in World War 2, women take up the mantle of professional baseball, but face discrimination and general disdain. Yeah.

I I don't play with felt the big thing when I was reading this log line was like, why aren't you talking about that there's a war on? It's the one that so the the log line What's me talking about that there's a war on? The log line feature it it kind of focuses down a little bit. 2 sisters joined the 1st female professional baseball league and struggle to help it succeed admit their own growing rivalry. So I think it does miss a little bit of the mess.

That's the relationship for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I still the war is so important. Yeah.

And I feel like it's overarching through the movie. Yeah. I would like that noted to some degree. Yeah. I think that was very good.

Thank you for taking on our challenge. We are The worst prize in the world. We it's not the worst. We're brought to you by bad surprises. I would have liked a couple of like rewrites, but it's fine.

I was gonna say we're brought to you by gruesome injuries. But that that can be a bad situation. No. I can That can be a bad situation. I can work with that as we yeah.

You don't know an injury you don't know an injury is coming especially when you're sliding into first and you feel a very big burst. Diarrhea. Oh, god. Stop reading my mind. Yeah.

That's a 100% what they were thinking in 1987. I will say my early interpretation of Dennis Quaid was he kind of gave me a young Harrison Ford vibe. I think that's what they were thinking he was gonna be. I get a Nicholson thing from him a little bit. He's got a tiny bit of a Nicholson thing.

I I can see that. I can see that. Yeah. But I feel like he took roles that were like a young Harrison Ford role. Like that's a really good point.

And then he did Great Balls of Fire and proved to everyone that he was insane. Dude, him. Winona Ryder played his cousin wife? Yeah. His 13 year old cousin wife.

Oh, my God. Just the facts. The face morphing, which was, like, I remember from seeing this the very first time, like, blew my mind, where Tuck transforms Jack into the cowboy, Martin Short into Robert Picardo, was created by Rob Bowden from Robocop, the thing, legend, mission impossible. That effect where he turns into and out of the cowboy. It's great.

It's so good. It holds up like fucking it's diamond. It's done so well, and they do it in such a smart way because when Martin Short is first turning into him, they don't show you that much. Right. They show us like cheeks puffing out, and then you just hear a bunch of stuff.

So then when they do it live in person, and they think that he's like possessed by the devil, Such a good payoff. The film does not take place in the same universe and has no relation to the film, honey, my dear. I may have mistakenly had an accidental whoopsie, wherein I shrunk down our adolescent offspring. Oh, no. You know that one.

Oh, no. Yeah. Rick Moranis. They did change the title to blah blah blah where I accidentally blew up our adolescent offspring. Oh, it's true.

They did the reverse. Yeah. I still to this date think blew up the kid our kids is the wrong It's such a terrible title. Yeah. We blew up the baby.

Yeah. It sounds like you exploded your baby. Yeah. Really does. And I just don't think that nobody along the line said, one question.

Look who's talking. People think we're exploding children. I'm like, no. No one would think that. This episode is brought to you by exploding children.

Jeff Bridges plays the dude blown away. Arlington Road. Tron. Tron. Tron.

Tron. Tron. Tron. Tron. Tron.

John Goodman, Walter. The Flintstones, Argo, Flight. Julianne Moore plays Maude The goat. Chloe, Boogie Nights, the hand that rocks the cradle. Steve Buscemi plays Donnie.

Tree's Lounge, Reservoir Dogs, Coast World. Side note, wishing Steve Buscemi a very speedy recovery, etcetera, after what happened in New York. Apparently, he's stable and doing alright. Right. But still What happened?

Somebody on the New York Street just decided to punch him while he was just Just punching him. Walking in the corner of his phone. Yep. I've heard a lot of an epidemic going on in New York. Random punching.

Yeah. But I've heard a lot of people getting punched in New York. I mean, I'm sure regular people have too, but all I care about is Rick Moranis and Steve Buscemi. They got punched. That is unacceptable.

Yeah. What is it? Rick Moranis is in New York where Paul is too far. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it's 1 Rick Moranis too far and Mike and Steve Buscemi. Uh-huh. Those are our beloved character actors. You can't keep punching them on the streets of New York. I mean, Rick Moran is from excuse me, honey.

I'm so sorry, but I did, in fact, accidentally By mistake. By mistake. There was a mishap. Take our children Our offspring. And made them a little bit smaller than normal.

They have been shrunken down to a size that is Sorry. Kinda comical if you look at it. It's pretty funny. There's an opportunity for adventure. Who knows?

They might prefer an ant. Every time you guys riff on that, I imagine the poster, like, the original poster with whatever, but just with the just longer and longer. And you see someone in the boardroom is pitching the title and they're like, yes. Maybe if brevity is not if brevity is not his thing. You're not into the whole brevity thing.

Speaking of crying, that'd be like a character from Brave Little Toaster. Oh. Oh, okay. Christ. That's another lovely You're taking me back to a Land Before Time here.

Yeah. Which one? From 14? Which Land Before Time? That's a secret.

That's my secret of The NIM, and I'm not telling you. Okay. We're just gonna talk about movies that make us cry. I'll tell you an American tale if you wanna hear it. Wow.

He's on a roll. He's on a roll. Rock a doodle. Bebe's kids. Bebe's.

Oh, thank you. So this as you had mentioned before, this film is based on the novel The Iron Man. The author Ted Hughes wrote the novel as a way of comforting his children after the suicide of their mother Jesus. Sylvia Plath. So the origins of this movie are a lot This episode.

A lot of fucking trauma. Yeah. Yeah. No. I like how I try to bring something lighthearted and we're like, just kidding.

Like, right to the just punch right to the gut, baby. Brad was unhappy with the lack of enthusiasm and marketing dollars tour from Warner Brothers. The film's promotional wave began about a 100 days before release, which is That's not very close. It was bad. Bird noted that Tarzan, also released this year, was marketed for a full year.

Yeah. Ridiculous. I've mentioned this before we had started recording, but I felt a big comparison to The Goofy Movie for this because The Goofy Movie is very much the same in that like it was basically executives saying make this movie with next to no budget, next to no promoting, and like your animators have to do all of the things, like they have to wear all the hats, And then they went, weird why they didn't work. And then it gained notoriety after the fact. It's so wild that these two things were produced, made under such incredible duress and, like, these tiny timetables.

And, like, you're saying, Melinda, like, the culture, retconned these things or whatever. And, like, no. These things are fucking amazing. And the fact that this is animation on top of everything else makes it that much more impressive. Yeah.

Totally. Way more. Peter Cullen, Sean Connery, Frank Walker, and James Earl Jones, Mufasa himself, were considered to voice the role of the Iron Giant. Warner Brothers also pushed for John Travolta as Dean and Arnold Schwarzenegger for Kent. Oh, I thought you were gonna say Arnold for the iron giant because I was gonna say That would make more sense.

This is me flying up to the bomb here. This is me flying up to the bomb here. This is me flying up to the bomb here. This is a ferret. There weren't nearly enough puns.

I know. Yeah. Not not no one could be cool. No one could be cool as ice. Cool off.

Right. I do wanna pitch 2 different titles for this movie really quickly if I could. Yeah. Okay. Kiki, the extra terrestrial.

Turns a lot. Is that what I'm saying? Last one, extraterrestrial. The extraterrestrial, which I think is technically just what it is. Because he's an extra one?

Well, just because it says e t, the extraterrestrial. I'm like, well, isn't that just extraterrestrial? The extraterrestrial. Yeah. I'm probably right.

Alright. But, Adria. Uh-huh. What you've been up to? Oh, what have I been up to?

Great question. Very little. I was baking at a bakery. That was my job. And then I quit there to do a show at the Seattle Children's Theater, which was great, and did a I was an understudy after that.

And, that ended, and so now I'm doing nothing. I'm unemployed. So Fun and unemployed? I mean, it's sometimes it's fun. You know, when you're unemployed, you have no income.

So that's the part where you're like, there's all this stuff I could do, but I don't have any money to do it. I was I did a I shot a commercial the other day. Nice. Something. Mhmm.

Mhmm. Mhmm. For, get this, for Lumen as in the field that the seed has planned. But even after the commercial, I don't I don't know what they do. I don't know what that company is.

So maybe if I see it ever, I'll find out. They illuminate. Are they I was gonna say are they energy company? Luminators. I wanna say I I'm I'm putting words together.

I I wanna say biotech, something tech. I don't think it's I don't know, guys. In a venture. Probably a quick Google search could've If you asked in the moment or like, hey. What come what do you guys do?

They just look at you like, don't ask that. Yeah. They probably don't know either. It's just with people filming the commercial. They don't know.

You know? I know. They took it was not our business. We asked. I miss your, your baked the baked baker.

Mhmm. Mhmm. That was a YouTube show that I had where I made edibles. I baked edibles, but I also I ate them beforehand, and then I made the video. And then Wait.

Like a pot like a pot like a pot drug? Like a pot drug edible? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I don't know if I can work with this guest.

Uh-huh. I don't know if I can. I haven't used it right now. I haven't had one of my edible. Yeah.

I haven't one of us. You know what? Okay. Paul's probably I'm a lost sheets to the wind. Is that still a statement you can use with lead 3 sheets to the wind?

I think so. Just because you're inebriated. Comes from yeah? Okay. Yeah.

You're in the sky. You you can feel the wind. I'm curious where that comes from. I don't know. Yeah.

Because I don't know what it mean. I mean, I know what it means, but I guess I don't know what the etymology of it is. Listeners Yeah. Exactly. Help us out.

Help us out. With someone so drunk. Yeah. We can use our Google machines. Tell us, won't you?

Ben. What you're up to? The cup is recyclable. Fuck. God.

I feel terrible. Hey, Emma Strah. Somebody tell me what you're watching, please. I have been watching, rewatching for the thousandth time, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Oh, yes.

You know, it's maybe like once every year I have to dive back in and Yeah. Do the entire series. Again, I have a small child and it's hard to watch things, but her and I have also made our way through all the Shrek movies. Nice. And the Fuss and Boots movies.

Hell, yes. I have not seen the first Shrek probably since, like, 2 1,002, and it's funny. Yeah. It's really funny. Funny.

I had a blast. There wasn't anything too weird. 10 out of 10. I've been wanting to go back to those. I gotta go back.

I wanted to go back to those and Kung Fu Panda because I feel like I didn't ever give Kung Fu Panda much I like that franchise. Credit. Yeah. At least the first three, I thought, were all pretty solid. Yeah.

Shrek 4? Great. That's what it was for Stiltskin. Yeah. And it is very much like, it's a wonderful life.

Like, when if Shrek was not born and then what happened to, Happily Ever After. So I'm into that. Yeah. It was good. I still gotta watch Puss in Boots Last Wish.

I was saying this earlier that it's like, I'm that's moving up to number 1 on my priority list at this point. Maybe we should stop the podcast. I will watch it a little bit. I do have the 4 k. Good to know.

Happy to borrow that. Yeah. Long term, short term, however you wanna dice it. Yeah. What are you watching, Paul?

What are you watching? Me? Well, I'm gonna do my very best to be brief, especially because I'm gonna catch some strays from people. I watched what I could of the acolyte. It's a Star Wars series on Disney plus.

I thought I came to the full realization ultimately when I watched most of the Obi Wan series that this was maybe not for me anymore for all sorts of reasons. And former guest, Zach Zashke, you gotta watch the acolyte. You gotta watch the acolyte for a 1000000 different reasons. And I did not get too far into it before. I was just kinda like, no.

Not for me. I don't think so. Star Wars, good, great, wonderful. Mostly, I just I feel like it's not for me, and they're taking it in a lot of directions that I'm not super interested in that still mostly have to do with the Jedi who are people that I think are not super cool or nice. So that's where I'm at with that.

Love this. Didn't make it super long into it, walked away. It I feel like a lot of Star Wars now has tried to become so broadly appealing that it's lost me. Maybe that's what it is. Who's to say?

But that's what I've been watching. I heard Anakin that isn't it. I don't think I got that for. Sorry. No.

It's okay. You're not spoiling anything for this is a spoiler episode. I'm I'm not gonna finish it. I'm not. I feel like that's a rabbit hole we can't go down.

Okay. Great. Let's not. Let's close the lid and just leave that bunny down there until you don't need to talk about it. Yeah.

Okay. So I'm, like, I'm excited for this movie for many reasons because I've been feel like burnt by the Marvel MCU the last couple of go arounds, in some way. Disappointed maybe. Sure. And I'm I'm excited.

Not mad. Just disappointed. I'm not mad. Just disappointed. That's worse.

So anyway, that's me. Well, maybe we should move on. Could we talk about the running man for your birthday, Paul? Okay. Let's do it.

Okay. Archaeology is the search for facts. I, I'll I'll tell you this for free. This part says Paul. That's a p.

Interesting. P storm. P storm. We watched The Running Man. This is a Taft, bearish, Sony Tri Star, which now is distributed at least by Paramount because my steel book was from Paramount.

This is rated r, restricted. You have to be a grown up adult. 1987, 1 hour and 41 minutes. The budget on this film was 27,000,000 at that point in time. At this point in time, it would be 74 4 70 whores?

Cloud assless? $74,600,000. Opening weekend was November 15th. It's a birthday episode. It's a poll episode.

It's a pee episode. Blockbuster Bonanza. It's outside of the summer. In 1987, it made $8,100,000. That is $22,400,000 adjusted final gross in North America and worldwide were 38,100,000.

That's 105 point $3,000,000 adjusted. So it didn't you know, made a little money. Other releases this date is something that someone made up called cross my heart. Weekend top 5, this film, which broke a pretty fucking crazy streak for a movie called fatal attraction. Oh, sure.

Hello again, baby boom and not witness, not The Fugitive, not so many things, but suspect or as I call it, Bobo Witness. I don't care. Top 5 films this year, Beverly Hills Cop 2, Platoon, Fatal Attraction, The Untouchables, 3 Men and a Baby. Other films from 1987, La Bamba, The Living Daylight starring Benjamin's friend and arguably my favorite Bond, sir Timothy Dalton, Mannequin, Blind Date, The Lost Boys, Eddie Murphy Raw, Jaws the revenge, and Clive Barker's Hellraiser based on his novel, The Hellbound Heart. I saw every single one of those movies in the theater that year.

Every Everything I just said? Except cross the one you made up. That's really hard. Yeah. That's the who that's I don't know what that is.

I don't care about that. Every single other thing I saw in the theater. Rated r, not allowed without parent or guardian. Man, my parents took me to all of that shit. That's awesome.

So we all watched a little movie called Last Action Hero. It is a Sony Columbia Adventure. It is PG 13, released in 1993. It is 2 hours and 10 minutes. And just that first part.

Right. Budget is 85,000,000. Adjusted, that's a185,000,000. That's a lot of money. Dustin, that's a lot of money.

That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. That's easy To adjust that, opening weekend, June 20, 1993. So this is a Bullish date.

Blockbuster. Bullish fucking date. 15 Bullish money. 15,300,000 adjusted that is 33.2. Final gross North America, 50,000,000 Adjusted, that is a 108.

Final gross, worldwide, a 137.7, and adjusted, that is 298,500,000. True or false? That's Arnold's international box office power that got it over the edge there. Right? Probably.

It's gotta be. He was not Stallone International, but he was well loved, is well yeah. Was his. Other releases this date, Once Upon A Forest. Polish for Once Upon A Forest.

Massive. Massive. Do you think the people in Once Upon a Forest were like, maybe we should push back? Kinda like the people with Last Action Hero. Maybe we should wait for a bit.

Yeah. Week in top 5, Jurassic Park. What? That's right. How could This film That did well.

Cliffhanger, what what's love got to do got to do got to do with it. A movie about Tina Turner And Ike. Was a couple spots I could have rolled in that movie. Okay. Was a couple spots behind the movie featuring Tina Turner it's in the cast.

Big week for Tina Turner. Made in America. Top 5 films in a year, domestic Jurassic Park, The Fugitive Get off my wife. For the simplest in Seattle and Atlantic. I will tell you guys, I mean, we were looking at 1993.

It's when I was doing some of this research. Oh, do you do it? All June 20 this is all June 1993, rather. Okay. So this is when last action hero came out.

This is when we went to my brother's birthday party at Cinnamopolos where they went they went ape shit for Jurassic Park where we had the safaris. God. Yes. They gave him they decked him out. Like, movies were massive.

In 93, you know, you look at Loaded Weapon 1. Oh, sure. To me was massive in my life where I could learn humor. I could learn parody. Yeah.

Sidekicks. I could learn that I could like things that suck. Sidekicks. We've we had that was in a poll for this program. Oh, yeah.

And then Men in Tights, which is one of my wife and my favorite movies Yeah. To share together. We are men. We are men in That's right. Tights.

Tights. Letterboxed average on this film is 4.2. Ben, I wanna follow you on Letterboxed. You should. It's at run b m c.

How how can I follow you? It's at paulaxbadly. Okay. Join join us. Good to know.

Join us. Oh, also, if you join us, you should tell, like, 3 people. If you're listening to this show right now, and you're like, god, I like these guys. I really, really love this podcast. You should just just literally send it to 3 people you know.

Right now, pause the podcast, take the link, and just send it to 3 of your friends and be like, hey. You like movies. Check out this podcast. Do it. Do it.

If you link the Instagram in your post about this podcast Yes. I'll I'll share it. I'll share it. I would love to share it. There you go.

Rate it 5 stars. It's pretty really not bad. Have you listened to many podcasts? This is not bad. Sysco Bieber gave this podcast posthumously 2 thumbs up as well as this movie despite my disparaging comments in our past episode.

Rotten Tomatoes Don't look it up. They they definitely did that. Don't look it up. They did it. Don't worry about it.

Just ask. Paul went back in time and made them do it. It's the power of love, man. Rotten Tomatoes, 93%. Medicritic, 88.

Miles per hour, great. What a joke to not quite land. Major award wins and nominations, there were many, many, many, many. Most biggest, most popular, most known, this was nominated for 4 Oscars, including winning the Oscar for special effects. Ben, talk about people.

The director of this movie is Robert Zemeckis, known by his friends as Bob Zemeckis. Bobby. Uncle Bob. Bob. Uncle Bob.

Good. Fight Cast Away, Death Becomes Her. Writers also Bob Zemeckis, Welcome to Marwen, and Bob Gale. Trespass, Tales from the Crypt presents Bordeaux of Blood. And Bob Gale and Bob Zemeckis went to school together at Yep.

USC. Director of photography, the great Dean Cundy, about Apollo 13, the spy next door, Looney Tunes back in action starring Corniche's favorite son, Vernon Fraser. Music, the great Alan Silvestri, Forrest Gump, The Polar Express, and Avengers Endgame. I feel like Silvestri gave finally gave us that avengers theme. Right?

Because he did the first Avengers 2. Is that correct? So. I believe so. Because we didn't really have any themes in the Marvel Universe until he came in and created that iconic one.

Producers, Kathleen Kennedy, Congo Oh. Frank Marshall, Congo Oh. And Steven Spielberg. Safe and Private Ryan. Bad soldiers.

Bad Nazis. Racist. The worst kind of Nazis. The worst kind of Nazis. Okay.

Cast. Rod Steiger, who is born in Westhampton, New York to Augusta and Frederick Steiger and was of German and Austrian ancestry, rest in peace. He was Juan. In the heat of the night and the specialist as Joe Leon. Yes, you were gonna say, Matt.

Just that his parents seemed like they were probably quite, white. Weird. Yeah. Maybe he is. I don't know.

Seems like. Seems seems likely. And I do need to mention, he was captain to Neil in the Simpsons episode Simpson Tide. Please do. That's when Bart got his ears pierced.

Oh. It's my first day. James Coburn as John, payback, the great escape, and Sharad. Sharad. Romulo Vali, doctor Viegas, the leopard, death in Venice, Maria Monti, who is still with us, stagecoach woman.

She was, mostly in Italian features and television. Rick Battilia, Santurna, Sandokan the great, Esther and the king. Franco Graziosi, Governor Jaime, the Great Beauty, we have a pope. Antoine Saint John was Colonel Reza, the Beyond, Ginger and Fred. Vivienne Chandler was Colleen, a Clockwork Orange, and young Sherlock Holmes.

David Warbeck was Sean Nolan. Hunters of the Golden Cobra, which based on title sounds fucking awesome. And Fatal Frames. Matthew. Some fun facts?

Some fun facts. Fun facts. Fun facts. Everybody well I think you can take my job. Somebody already did.

Oh, no. It's already been taken, bruh. Fun facts. Fun facts, everybody. It's fun fact time.

There you go. Hey. Hey. Eli Wallach sued Sergei Leone and the production company of this film after Leone begged Wallach to quit a production he was on to star in the film. Once Wallach agreed, shooting had begun with Rod Steiger in the lead role.

Leone offered no compensation to Wallach regardless. I'll sue you, Wallach told the director to which Leone said, get in line. It was the last time they spoke to each other. Wow. Cool.

Get in line. Cool. Cool. Brad Siger earned what was then a record paycheck of $700,000 to play Juan in this film. One time James Bond, George La Zombie.

Lazy. Yeah. Sure. Was offered the richest Bond. He's the richest Bond.

I don't even know who he is. He played Bond. He only did her majesty's secret service. He invested really, really well and got some shares for stuff. He only did one.

He's a very rich guy. Either way. Sorry. Go ahead. Well, this guy was offered the starring role in this film and took it only to turn it down later.

Cool fun fact, bro. For real. I didn't write these. Sam Peckinpah, which is how I found this movie, agreed to direct this film after Peter Bogdanovich had turned down the project. But for financial reasons, Peckinpah was turned down by United Artists.

Artists. Maybe not just financial reasons. Yeah. Maybe not. Russ Steiger prepared for the role of Juan by taking accent and language lessons with a Mexican woman for 3 months.

His goal was to use inflections that would imply Juan's difficulty with speaking English instead of his native Spanish and maintained the accent throughout the course of filming. To create John's accent, James Coburn vacationed in Ireland for a couple of weeks. Yeah. And you can kinda tell What? When you kinda forget he's supposed to be Irish for a while.

Yeah. Until he has flashbacks. And you're like, oh, what is Ireland? He's so Irish. Like, oh, that's Ireland.

Got it. Sometimes it's real thick, though. It's my island. Sometimes it's real thick. Yeah.

He really lays it on the top of that. Thick as his mustache. Yeah. His mustache is very Irish. He doesn't look Irish at all.

No. You trying to point at your mustache? My I got a pretty it's pretty close. To his mustache? It's it's pretty porno bushy.

To the guy to the guy Bushy is probably the right word. It's not quite it doesn't quite have the handlebar action. It feels a little gross. Yeah. So does Coburn's.

Okay. There are 4 cuts of the film available in the US anywhere between 15 minutes and 12 hours. Yes. Right. I think we all saw the 12 hour one.

There are 2 titles for this film. The other is Fistful of Dynamite. The preferred cut by Leone was the now unavailable nonexistent cut that was 40 minutes longer Oh my god. Than the 157 minute version that is most common. I, Matt, am not happy about reading this, but I would like to take the moment to acknowledge that I made fun of this podcast for being feeling too long.

Sometimes 3, sometimes 12 hours also. As I inexplicitly brought a western that from the seventies, that is the longest movie ever brought to the podcast maybe ever made, and I do not apologize. That's not that's not how it's written. It says I do apologize. That is the longest movie ever brought to the podcast.

Maybe ever made. I'm gonna read the same line again. I still don't apologize. I did not set you up for success in helping you no. You didn't set yourself up for success by asking me back.

Anyways, super long, super boring podcast, guys. Thanks for listening. It is my fault. This episode is brought to you by just sheer fucking boredom. That's pure boredom.

I do have to say Are Are you as high as Paul is right now? It's probably interesting. No clothes. No clothes? No clothes.

Paul's wearing no clothes. I'm not sure I ain't gonna show you that. No clothes. I will say, when we do podcasts with your wife, they're more than normal. They're more normal?

Yeah. Well but you both know her and you both know me. Enjoy this break. So you're not surprised. We're gonna take a break and we're gonna come back and talk about Duck, you sucker.

And we're back. We are back and we're so glad. We fired our sponsors actually. Right Wing Nut Shops no longer are sponsors. We actually found out that they were a nuts and bolt company.

Oh, yeah. Just gave Paul a little, easy Mel Gibson was still there though? No. It was someone else named Mel Gibson. Gail Midsen.

Oh, that's right. It was like Giuliani when he did the, speech. When they went to 4 seasons? Their painted paint just dripping down. This is the best fuck up ever.

Yes. That's not real life though. Right? Is it oh, wait. That is Let's talk about some real life.

And, first, before we talk about our experience with this movie, Harriet, I would like you to pick a card from Cinephile. And, for those who are new to the podcast, this has an actor's name on it, and we are going to name a movie that this actor has been in. Alright. You get the freebie though. Yes.

Okay. Who's it gonna be? Oh. Oh, Bruce Willis. Oh, okay.

What's your what's your freebie? My freebie is 12 monkeys. Okay. And we're gonna go around this way. So I'm gonna go with die hard.

That was the one I was gonna do, but that's okay because I'm gonna go with The 6th Sense. Good choice. Thank you. This isn't really my skill set. I was gonna say The 6th Sense.

It's okay. You got it. Oh, Unbreakable. Okay. Die hard 2.

There's a subtitle. Full title, please. Oh, shit. Too fast. Too furious.

Duh. So forget about it, co. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yep.

Die Hard the sorry. We cannot accept that answer. Judges, it is Die Hard 2, Die Harder. Do I mean, that's an awesome title. Come on, Harriet.

I was giving you a note, and it was wrong. Were you thinking of Die Hard With the Vengeance? It wasn't Fast and Furious. And then we have Live Free or Die Hard. Oh, I should've said that one, because I knew that one.

Yeah. Or He was in Friends. Does that count? Yeah. And, The Fifth Element?

Glass. Oh, yeah. Whole 9 yards. Anyway, we don't need to talk about How many movies has he been in? Like, so many.

Yeah. Towards the end of his career too because they were he was, like, doing a lot of, like, b movies. They're remaking one that he was in, with Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn Oh. Becomes Her. Death Becomes Her.

That's a great one. I loved that movie when I was a kid. Harriet. What what's my punishment? You tell us about your first experience with the virgin suicides and, followed by your most recent.

Okay. Great. So first experience was at a sleep over. Classic. All of my friends were sad girls like me.

You know, I remember watching it and thinking how fucking cool I was and, you know, just, like, really relating to the movie on a teenage girl level. I'm fine, by the way. And then I remember coming home, and I had my mom buy I guess it was the DVD at that point because I just I wanted to have it. And I I watched it not pretty regularly, but with, like, some consistency for a couple years. Every 6 months or so, I'd be like, okay.

This is my time to really relate and go inward. And now I'm talking about my experience now? Or You can you can talk about how many out of 5 you would have given it back then. Oh, I would have given it a 5 out of 5. Okay.

I was, like, a die hard, virgin suicide With a vengeance? Girl. Die harder. Yes. Die harder.

Oh, don't, though. That's what they use. Don't die. Don't die. Please don't die.

And now your more recent viewing experience in that ranking. Yeah. My new my more recent viewing, I hadn't seen it in years. When you said pick a movie, that was the one that I was like, oh, I haven't seen this in so long, but I remember loving it. Let's go.

Let's try. Let's let's remember how great of a movie this was. It's an alright movie. I think it's, like, a very at least, like, for the time, a very art movie. And for me as a little as a young girl, that was really cool.

Yeah. There's definitely some holes and some, like, issues with the movie, so I would say but I would say, like, a solid 4.2, but that might be some nostalgia, like, dripping in there as well. We we do we do accept nostalgia poll as a grading system. Yeah. So Okay.

Great. Hi. I'm David. I'm the guest. Hi, David.

I'm grandpa. Hi, everybody. Welcome. It's the review review. The review review with Paul and Ben.

Yeah. I introduced you this time. You sure did. I did. You know who else is here?

The guest. Me. David. Again. Here in the flesh and hopefully in October, since I'm using the word flesh and we wanna use this for spooky season.

But we'll see how Smash Bros. Okay. You might get this a little early, and lucky you. Yeah. For getting things sooner than later.

What's what's bad about that? Before we get into the movie or what it is or anything or what even is going on with you, Dave, I don't care that much. Mm-mm. Ben Yeah. Would you please tell our kind listeners Mhmm.

What the fuck we do here? The review review is a movie podcast where we, me, and Paul, will have a guest. That guest will, bring us a movie, something that is at least 7 years old, not part of a franchise or a sequel, that is possibly something that they haven't seen in a while, and they feel passionately about one way or the other. And they're interested in rewatching it. They will come to us with a ranking of that movie of their, when they first saw it out of 5.

We got that 5 star ranking from Letterboxd. I'm on Letterboxd at Run BMC. I'm on Letterboxd at Paul acts badly. And then, we will watch it in our own time. We review it, as in rewatch it.

And then we come together with our current rankings out of 5, and we discuss it. And then at the end, we review it and see if our rankings have changed. Hence, review review because we're little clever boys. Very, very What a concept. Very clever.

Got a good review. Yes. $1,000,000 idea right here. Great. Dave, you're here visiting us from Las Vegas.

I am. We just recorded recently. Is there anything that you wanna plug or talk about specifically that's going on in your life that's exciting or new or anything? Boy, no. Okay.

We're ready for round 1 on 1 genophile. Do you you know, you haven't picked 1 in a while. So why don't you go Oh, yeah? Why don't you finger it? Oh, I don't mind the sound of that.

Is that wrong? Am I a bad person? You cannot become too unstuck right now. I need you to stay calm. Okay.

It's Harrison Ford. Coming to us again. The movie is working, girl. Go. I'm gonna take the high or the low hanging fruit and go Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Okay. Temple of Doom. Last Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.

Star Wars episode 4, A New Hope. Star Wars episode 5, Empire Strikes Back. Star Wars episode 6, Return of the Jedi. This is stupid. It's not.

Star Wars episode 7, The Force Awakens. Presumed Innocent. Star Wars episode 9, The Rise of Skywalker. Somehow Palpatine returned. The fugitive.

Mhmm. Should've seen the look on my face, audience, when I took that from him. Air Force 1. Witness. We'll go with What Lies Beneath.

Captain America New World Order. That hasn't come out yet. I don't get to pick that. I think that's fair if I don't get to pick it. I don't think that Okay.

6 Days 7 Nights. Okay. Patriot Games. The Mosquito Coast. Oh, that's such a good movie.

I haven't seen it in a 1000000 years. I don't wanna lose this one. I'm taking it. I'm taking it. Okay.

That's fine. I do I get it? Sure. Can I do I cinch it, at least? Colorado's danger.

Measures. Was that with Brendan Fraser? That's with Corniche's favorite son. Yeah. Let's admit it.

Clear and present danger. That would have been one of the ones because I you said Patriot Games. Right? Does ET count? It should.

Yeah. I think that's fair because you get the voice anyway. Yeah. That was a good round. What lies beneath is such a great use of Ford?

Dude, the idea that the the past haunting you and not not being able to escape it And he's pretty great. Such a likable guy. He is. That subversive and that when he becomes, like, full on monster at the end is Solid Zemeckis. Oh, yeah.

When in the end, it's about self preservation. Yeah. Yeah. It's a solid movie. Rewatch that.

I mean, we're in spooky season. I'm excited about having a I'm kinda bummed I lost that. Super Shrons. I'm pretty bummed. Was it not a good round?

I thought it was a great round. Well You were like, this is stupid. I was like, no. This is great. Yeah.

No. It was a good one. Blasted a last Skywalker on me too. Yeah. He makes a weird appearance in that where he's not a force ghost.

He's a memory. I don't It's weird. We don't need to Somehow Palpatine survived. Someone wrote that. Fuck.

Someone wrote that and went, you know what? That's what's his name? We gotta write something. Chris fuck. What's his name?

He did BVS too. Oh, shit. I know who you're talking about. Yeah. Nah.

Tell me your stories. I've never seen this movie, Paul. That excites me, clearly. This is the first time I had ever seen Monster Squad. I thought I saw this movie, and then I saw the poster, and I was conflating it with little monsters.

Oh, that happens more often than I knew when I told people we were gonna record this. Yeah. I mean, similar time frame. Yeah. Ish.

But one is Howie Mandel and Fred Savage and has, like, people drinking pee. And that's not this one. You'd you'd swear I would have picked it. Yeah. So this was my first viewing.

It was a nice midday autumnal watch. Mhmm. It's got the vibe. It has the total vibe and it made me sad that I hadn't seen this movie when I was young because I know how much young Ben would have just, like, wanted to be part of this group and, like, would have loved this movie. I think like the I mean, we'll talk about the practicals and the costumes and the makeup.

They're iron proof. They're rock solid. They it really captures the magic of being a kid, the Goonies magic of being a kid in a group saving the world. You know? I think I was trying to think of what filled this gap for me at this in sort of a similar vibe and, spooky season esque.

And it was probably Hocus Pocus. Okay. That was probably because I watched that movie a lot when I was a kid. But I really wish I had seen this. I I give this for Dracula Dynamites.

I'm so fucking delighted right now. Yeah? I'm so delighted right now. Did you not expect that? I kind of similar to what I've been trying to do when I choose movies, I don't wanna anticipate exactly what you're gonna think about it.

I wanna bring something that may surprise and delight you or may kind of maybe annoy you. I'm not gonna lie. Okay. I couldn't imagine this movie annoying you or you not being kind of enamored with it. So I had high hopes for this, and I'm glad that those hopes were met.

Yeah. 100%. So we should start the movie. Start the movie. Start the movie.

Start the movie. Start the movie. And now our feature presentation. Into a video. Which one?

The opening is great. I think it's, yeah, it's one of my favorite songs, I think. 1st, you have this lovely overture that happens, and that also, like, he puts, he puts in, like, a little tidbit of Sally's song and, you know, like, there's a little bit of everything just pops in here, and we have this lovely narration prologue to begin it. And then that's you see all of the holiday doors. And I remember as a kid, like, I wanna go in all of those.

I wanna see what's exciting. Yeah. Of course. One of them. And then they open up the pumpkin, and then, yeah, we've got that first couple beats of and it just, like, gets you excited.

It kinda, like, pumps you up. It does. Yeah. The music is fantastic. It's weird for me that it doesn't say Touchstone Pictures anymore.

I watch this on Disney Plus. Everyone? Yeah. And now that it says Walt Disney Pictures, I'm like, what? And I mean, it always was.

The the main thing was, like, they were tricking me the first time. So why was I upset now that they're just being honest with me? Well, Burris just went back into the overlook, and he is now dressed as a bunny and giving somebody head. Happy International Rabbit Day. We're we're in the annals of football by Dan Patrick.

I went to grab my old DVD because I don't even see that said touchstone or anything on it. If anyone hasn't seen The Shining, that's the reference. Apologies. No. Apologies.

Yeah. My background yes. My background's the the hallway. I sent lovely carpet. I sent the, previous opening to you guys in our text thread where it still said touchstone.

So it's just weird. But I I agree that this is when this is Halloween comes on and it's like, this is Halloween town. These are the residents of Halloween town. I love that I can see the strings on the little bats that fly by and the Jack reveal at the end of the song. Like, it just that song builds the world so beautifully.

Yeah. I mean, the more just the song, but the song combined with the what we're seeing, like, the character designs and the world designs Mhmm. It it just it immediately puts you into this pocket, and it's a unique, original Yeah. Spooky world. They introduce every, like, supporting character.

You know, just really it's a great introduction into the world that we're gonna It just really is a great introduction into the world that we're gonna be living in for the next hour 17 minutes now. Yeah. Yeah. You see in the background the homeless dude who asked him? Like, he's, like, stumbling slowly towards him.

And, like, the way that Sean is so oblivious Mhmm. And, like, this continues to establish Broken windshields. Yeah. And he's just oblivious to everything going on around him, which is gonna be one of his arcs in this. Right?

Is he's gonna become more attentive. Mhmm. But the it's the same follow shot. It's the same one shot. The blood on the window when he gets his Scoring graph beautifully.

And he's only going there for a diet coke for himself. I love the details in when he walks in the store, the bloody hand prints and he turns his head the other way when he's opening the fridge. But he slips? And he goes to get a coke and then he's like, you know what? Today's a new day, new life.

I'm gonna get a diet coke. And then slips on the blood and wants to get a paper. Can't get a paper and he says to the I owe you 15 quid. I owe 15 p and leaves Yeah. And tells the dude, the homeless guy, like, I didn't even have enough for the paper.

Yeah. As he tries to open that diet coke with his teeth Oh, yeah. Nice. Almost where, like, the half star half fucking cricket bat is. I used to do that.

For me. I used to do that in high school. Fuck that. No. That's fucking fucking feral animal shit.

No. Did you ever smoke weed out of a can? This isn't about me. This is about me judging others. But, yeah.

They get back. He gets back. And she's he, Ed's standing there with, like, a ghost with, by the window with a curtain around him. He's like, there's a girl in the backyard. There's a girl in the garden.

What? There's a girl in the garden. And they go out there and she's like, Yeah. And and now, like, Sean has caught on a little bit to the news reports too that, like, shit's starting to go kind of bad. The way so this is part of in every frame of painting, how the way they show what's happening by him changing the channels Yes.

Is so brilliant and so funny. The way But he doesn't even catch on to that. The nature because they're like there are people out and he changes to a nature channel and it's like and eating peep eating a lot eating it alive. And it's like it's so funny. It works so well.

And then he gets to, like, a pop show or whatever, like, an interview show and he goes, wait. And then he goes back. Like, that's the thing Yeah. That shakes into reality. But when they go back and they meet Mary in the garden Oh my god.

She's so drunk. Can you play with us, Danny? Oh, she I think she likes you. And I hear you, and I don't disagree with kind of the logic. As a fan of the podcast as well, and I know y'all don't handle a lot of franchises, and it's interesting because we're kinda jumping in.

We we've talked a lot about franchises and legacy sequels and whatnot. To me, in terms of execution, a lot of this film, I'm about to say something kinda savage here, reminds me a little bit of Rocky 5. And it reminds me of Rocky 5 in the way that on paper, the idea of going back to a thing Rocky 5 on paper makes a lot of sense, and then Rocky 5 in terms of execution is really difficult thing. Right? Because we go into the brain damage stuff.

We go into, like, a lot of things that are really difficult to see a character that you really appreciate and enjoy and is kind of a interesting proxy for the American dream kinda get beaten up, but there's family. There's a lot of cool themes kind of in there. And I think alien 3 has a similar thing where on paper, there's a lot of really great things. I don't know if the execution always works for me. I do think Sigourney Weaver is phenomenal in it.

I do think that you've got an amazing cast. Dude, that's the thing about Rocky 5 to just take your specific example. This is Sylvester Stallone in a performance that feels a little checked out with a bunch of actors around him that are not nearly the talent of the the next 5 or 7 build past Charles Dance in this And I'm saying that more more in terms of, you know, you bring Adelson back in to direct. You're trying to go back to what made the first film work. Yeah.

But Adelson had, like, lost it by then. I'm just going by what's on paper in the car, like, conceptually. Yeah. And by no means am I saying that this is as you usually say Rocky 5 is like the fat Elvis of right? Like so that being said, this is by no means as much of a travesty, and I do think that it does a thing.

I'm more surprised in watching we watched the original cut Yeah. The theatrical release. Yeah. Me too. And I am more in awe that it even makes sense as much as it does.

When you know how the sausage When you know how the sausage got made. It's I I mean I I have maybe more issues in terms of pacing and structure Yeah. Me too. Than anything. Ripley crash lands, onto this planet, and, yes, Hicks and Newt do not make it.

There's, like, a little bit of Bishop left, but he's pretty much pieces. And it is a prison planet, and they excavate the ship or the and then she's ticked. And the montage is rough for me, the introduction montage. I love that. It is rough for me.

It doesn't it doesn't work. I love how it's like we're casting this aside. Like, we're gonna brush this. Many other people. Many people.

Many people. Jean Claude Van Damme plays Chuntz, Lionheart Streetfighter from 1994, and Bloodsport. Yancey Butler plays Natasha. She was in Kick Ass, Drop Zone, and Ravager. Lance Henriksen plays Bill, Pumpkinhead, Near Dark, and Alien 3.

Yeah, buddy. And so just walked in while I was watching this and didn't realize he was in it and kind of just caught a glimpse of his performance and was like immediately because she knows him from aliens was immediately. Yeah. And she was immediately, like, wow. That guy Drawn in.

Yeah. Because his emotional depth, in aliens, like, he's so he's you just he's so magnetic in that movie. And then in this, the turn into being a villain. It's just he's so talented. I think he's absolutely incredible.

I agree with you. Arnold Vosloo plays Pick. He is the mummy. The mummy. Dark he's in dark man 3, die, dark man, die, and blood diamond.

Wilford Brimley Oh, teeth. Plays uncle Doofy, the thing, the firm, cocoon, and, diabetes. Have a good day. Boating accidents, incontinence, civil unrest. In these uncertain times, you need a podcast you can count on.

Hello. And welcome to the review review. A podcast that you must listen to. If you don't listen to this podcast, you and everyone you love will fucking die. Perfect.

Audrey, before we get too deep into things, is there anything that you've been working on that you wanna talk about? Anything you're excited about? We we know from your previous, audio appearances on this podcast that you work in costume. I do. I do.

I do. So we all know things are kinda slow right now in LA, in the industry in general. I feel very fortunate that I've had some some, like, cool commercials that I've styled. I did a indie horror movie recently. That was pretty fun.

And then I've also been on, season 17 of It's Always Sunny. Oh, my, wow. A dream. A fucking dream. Can't even begin to say.

So I also did this really great, music video for a group that I love, ended up loving music, which was also like, what a joy. And it was just doing fun, silly art, which is something that I felt like I was missing. And It's Always Sunny is kind of like that as well. It's been such a joy working on that show. No doubt.

Like when I say that every single person working on there is just kind and fun and cool, and everybody there cares about life outside of the job as well. It's yeah. I like I could rant and rave about that whole thing. I wish it was a whole year long job that continued on and on and on and on and didn't stop. But we're we're about to wrap.

So Oh, okay. And it's and it's fast and furious because nobody shoots as fast as those guys. It's unreal. So you do it and then you just you gotta forget about it, k? It's over.

Yeah. For real. Sounds awesome. I Yeah. That is a long running show.

It really is. I think they were saying something. It might be the longest running kind of live action situate or may there's another Six seasons. Sitcom or something. Yeah.

Yeah. Essentially, it's animated. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, you've got, like, crew members who you've been together, yeah, for 20 years, and some of their newer people, it's like 10 years or something.

So yeah. And then you got ding dong me showing up, like, this is my 1st year doing it. So but it's it's yeah. It's just been such a such a joy, like, to work with everybody on there. Like, I'm actually gonna be really sad when it's over.

When you rap, are you gonna get everyone together and say, God bless us. No. That's very much. Yeah. I'm doing full tiny Tim moment.

I think you should take over the production office with with a shotgun. I think that's what you should do. Absolutely. They'll never forget me now. True or false, Elliot Loudermilk ended up in prison too after this movie was over.

It has to. 100%. Also Bill Murray go to prison? No. It's time to take out the trash.

Probably. No. Because he's rich and he runs a studio. Get you for those bedtime. Yeah.

But he sent him in there with a shotgun. I mean, he did, but that's He doesn't own the studio. He lost his job for sure. Right? He was shooting.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But also it's his word against Elliot's and, you know, Elliot is a lower loved one play.

I mean, again, like I said, that's Darwinism. Right? Like, that guy is just an idiot. That's not But but to be to be clear, he didn't purposefully kill himself. No.

What? He he did this and and it killed him. You know, like because she mentioned suicide before, so I just wanna, you know, clarify that it's not what happened to her dad. But he, foolishly dressed as Santa and decided to go down their chimney. That's not cute.

That's not cute. Not cute. It's not cute. It's not cute. Oh, no.

It's Paul from the edit again. This is not why you're I think it's only fair at this time that we enjoy consider respect in its entirety. The monologue by the great Phoebe Cates from Gremlins AKA G1. The worst Christmas story ever. Happy holidays.

It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and mom were were decorating the tree, waiting for dad to come home from work. Couple hours went by, dad wasn't home. His mom called the office, no answer.

Christmas day came and went and still nothing. So police began a search. 4 or 5 days went by. Either one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart.

It was snowing outside. The house was freezing. So I went to try to light up the fire and that's when I noticed the smell. Firemen came and broke through the chimney top, and me and mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead, they pulled out my father.

He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve. His arms are loaded with presents. It was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck, died instantly.

And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus. If you dress up like Santa my grandpa used to dress up like Santa. And I remember one time when I was a kid, he he like, I didn't even know he was at my mom's, but he came over just like Santa and, like, was on the deck and, like, left some presents. And I, like, I was only one that saw him. And I was like, sit.

And then, like, he he went home. Like, my my grandfather literally lived across the water from where my mom lived. He came over dressed like Santa, didn't even come to say hi. I saw him and then left just to keep me believing in Santa. Wow.

Like, keep the magic alive. How was 2022? Was that a good Christmas? It was okay. 202012.

I don't know. When was that though, really? How old were you? I wanna say I was probably, like, 6 or 7. That's pretty adorable.

Yeah. That's awesome. It was I mean, my he was Santa in his, town. So, like, from the center, he he would be Santa. Yeah.

But he did not come down he did not climb down the chimney because he's not a fucking dog. Yeah. I once she said that because I was like, okay. I I'm on board with whatever this girl says. And, honestly, if that happened when you were a child, it would be traumatic even Yeah.

If it's outrageous. But I'm just like, what is wrong with the men in this town? Like like the like, they're, like, inventors and layabouts and don't have jobs and don't, like, pay for like, it's really, really it it's so stark. Like, it's really interesting. The the Kingston Falls as a town is wrecked, and Jerry Goldsmith's version of Silent Night over this is absolutely gorgeous.

It's haunting. The soundtrack of this movie is so good, and I don't know what it is about Disney and Warner Brothers deciding to crossover in this movie and Roger Rabbit and stuff. Mhmm. But it, like, totally works for me in the way that the gremlins are just loving Snow White. They're watching Snow White, and they love it.

It's so so great. I don't think they would love the live action remake of Snow White. We don't know. It's not out yet. They can't bad.

With the live action. Chose No. I think they to me, they chose that portion of that movie because of their singing. Like, that's something that they could sing. Yeah.

I thought it was so great. And, like, the 3 d glasses and, like, wearing popcorn on their ears and, like, just dancing and partying. And the the way that Kate is, like, kinda directing Billy around the theater, here's where the furnace is, whatever, and they bust out, they really did blow up a movie theater. It took out windows at a college, like, blocks away. Like, that thing was no joke.

That was like Danny McBride, like, Tropic Thunder shit apparently. The exterior of that movie theater, that's where, when Marty comes back into the eighties, that's where the the DeLorean crashes into. So cool. Yeah. I I get that same kinda, like, oh, like, when I see those little things that, like, hit back to the future.

Like, I love that they have this crossover. I had a question though while they're watching the movie. Couldn't they have just, like, put a bright screen on? Yeah. The screen I thought the same thing.

Like, not the same thing. The screen. I figured the ones in the first three or four rows would be pretty fucking pissed. It would probably run to the back of the theater. Well, if they all came from the bar and they were drunk and then they go to the movie theater Yeah.

Yeah. Glasses, somewhere. I I was like, why don't we lock them in there until the sun is up and then let them out and run them outside? Because if it's like the sun, the sun is the thing that will kill them. Let's blow it up.

Yeah. Let's blow up the fucking sun. I mean, I guess if you have an extra $1,000,000 If I blow up the sun from double 07 Villains. Let's blow up the sun. Let's blow up the sun.

There's 1,200,000 Earths in the sun. Let's blow it up. Yeah. Which double 07 villain was trying to take the sun? Orpheus.

Chocolate stars? And the cute hot dog water. Hot dog water is so cute. So spike is spike. Stripe is, like, pissed.

Like, all his babies are dead. Like, because he there's kind of this level of that. Yeah, that of that puppet being like pissed off after he goes out for candy that all his babies got, its babies, the thing, the alien, whatever the fuck it is, its, offspring whatever got It's children in, like, a culture sense. Kinda right? Yeah.

Yeah. And so we get this final showdown in the Montgomery Ward, and we get the stripe behind ET and, like, get that little little thing in there. That's cool. And the showdown is pretty effective, I feel. I love that, Gizmo gets a little car.

Mhmm. A Barbie car. It's a Barbie car. So great. Hi, Barbie.

Hi, Barbie. Imagining he's, like, Clark Gable. It's so great. And he Gizmo his ass kicked. Yeah.

Gizmo doesn't help. Gizmo saves him. Mhmm. But Billy is incapable of fighting this thing. Oh, yeah.

Well and, also, it can use a gun. And A crossbow. A tiny crossbow. Crossbow. Like, it has perfectly sized cross posts.

Why does the store have cross posts? For gremlins. Tiny, tiny cross posts for 2 and a half foot tall. Gremlins, specifically. It's even made for their claws and everything.

They're very cute. When Stripe even sees the fountain and goes, water, and then looks over and goes, gun. And you're like, oh, well, we know what his plan is. Yeah. Knowing what a gun is, knowing what That's so weird.

Break lines are. Like, I just have a lot of questions as, like, how do they learn so much so quickly? So fast. Like, not only to blink, but to operate firearms and projectors and cars. Fucking strike gets melted.

Gizmo saves the day, pulls back the shade. No, dude. I think that effect is great. Jess, I know that effect is probably a little bit, and when it pops back out, like, does that is it but it is it is it, like, a horror moment? Are you like, oh, no.

Thanks. The, like, zombie mummy thing? Yeah. Does popping back out of the water and that whole does that work for you, or you, like, miss me with that shit? I mean, after everything I'd seen, I was, like, why not?

Why not? Yeah. So the the old man from the beginning of the movie who was, like, don't. No. You can't.

It's not. Please, what are you thinking? Comes back, and he's, like, well, you know, I heard that this place was falling apart, so I figured, like I figured it was this thing that My Maguire must be here. I should never let out of my sight ever. Well, and it's and he says this beautiful line.

You have done what you always do with all of nature's gifts. I think it's such a gorgeous line. Unfortunately, it's not a true comeuppance because they're too stupid to understand the weight of what he just said. But it's just, like, you're all a bunch of, like, fucking dunces. You're all children.

You don't deserve this. It's like when you hear about people who find, like, a baby dolphin on the beach, and they all take photos with it and end up killing it. Yep. You know? Like, it's things like that where you I swear I've heard of that.

Or Harambe. You know? Oh, RIP. We just yeah. It's just yeah.

Or or grizzly man, you know, where you're Yeah. The fuck are you guys doing? Like, this is nature This is facts. Nature. Nature does not nature is metal as fuck.

Nothing Metallica is not even 1 1 billionth percent as nature as metal as nature. Fuck you. I think I'm trying to make that message resonate a little harder than it does in the movie, but, damn, it does resonate with me. The movie's over. Did we miss anything?

I just think the real bad guy here is capitalism. I agree. It could be the Peltzer pet. No. It fucking can't.

No. Well, we're all victims, and we're all contributors. Yes. Oh, man. It's a vicious cycle.

It truly is. Only the worst from Bezos. Oh, yeah. I have some documentaries I'd like to talk about that you should never watch. Jess.

Hi. We talked about this film ad nauseam. Yeah. I had a great time talking about it. You made some excellent points.

This was a very snappy, enjoyable conversation. Great. I'm so glad that you allowed me to, push push gremlins. Uh-huh. Thank you for participating.

What would you like to say, and how would you like to rate it? I would love to see a version of this film that is female gaze through Phoebe Cates' character Mhmm. Where she understands what's at stake because not only is a a a female gaze our female characters, but also mother nature. And she's like, I've got to return this Mogwai to where it needs to be and seeing a little bit more of the that metalness of nature, and not just some little goofy aliens being Cute. Cute and killing people.

Laughing laugh laughing at launching people out of windows for dipshits like Paul's pleasure. Yeah. Yeah. But I I will say, like, I was surprised that it did go as deep as it as it did with with the, like, you know, not everyone likes Christmas. Sometimes it's really hard.

And then also with the well, I guess, environmentalism of the, of of our kind of sage character. So when he came back at the end and said that, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. But they're just like So good. Oh, we're real sorry about what happened.

I'm like, no. You're fucking not. Like Yeah. There's no consequence for you. Like, everyone else is dealing with it.

They gotta get a job. The media the media perverted it Coming. And got them off. To a decision. Their kitchen's destroyed.

Yeah. And, like, wouldn't it wouldn't there be, like, federal agencies swarming this town? Yeah. And they're just like, well, back to work, I guess. And so there's, like, a very, like, like, awes smokeless ashtray?

Yeah. Like, an aw shucks ending to it. Yeah. But, you know, I'm I'm not, like, looking to to rewrite this because, you know, I think it achieved what it wanted to achieve. Okay.

And it clearly made tons of money. The are just really cute. So what's your is your ranking Oh, it's it's gonna be the same. It's gonna be Say it a 3? 3 3 out of 3.

We failed, Paul. 3 out of 5. Okay. Oh, 3 out of 5. Sorry.

I think No. It's okay. Paul. I I don't feel like I failed. I think we had a really, really lively, very good conversation, and I still have hope that I brought you up and that I'm not gonna come down after all of this talk and all these ratings.

Paul, you always bring me up. You know what I mean? Yeah. And you always bring me down. Let's go to Beat Street.

Boston makes me feel good. I'm going to 4, baby. I'm going to 4. He's going to 4. Yes.

Yes. This is a fun movie, and I love I just love Joe Dante, and I think that, like, yes to everything everyone said today, but I think also, like, 1984. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

And I love the world that it kinda builds. I think I actually like this more than the burbs and Yeah. More more than inner space. Mhmm. I think in terms of character design and, like, the stakes of it all and the world building and the creature designs, I I I just think it's it's a really fun, solid Christmas movie.

Awesome. Yes. Great. And I don't imagine Paul's going down. So Yeah.

Why don't why don't we talk about this as a Christmas movie? Like, we talk everyone talks about Die Hard as a Christmas movie. I agree. Like, I think Die Hard's a Christmas movie, and now Gremlins is clearly a Christmas movie. Yep.

I've watched them both, around Christmas for years. Gremlins more than anything else, but I agree. Are you, Christmas day, going to Nosferatu? Absolutely. Nice.

No question. Well, it's down to me. Yep. So I have an interesting bit of news, I guess, which this almost feels like a bastardization. This feels wrong.

I'm gonna put a heart on it. Now, basically, what that signifies on this program, if you don't already know, means that this is not necessarily a great movie, but you should definitely watch it. And I think it might be the greatest of those of all of times. This is a very important episode for me, y'all. Yeah.

Because it's a thing where it's, like, I did not expect to go into this movie and be, like, holy shit. American exceptionalism, bad. Patriarchy, bad. Consumerism, bad. Like, so many of these things, I think, are painted in a really, a really appropriate, kind of, like, negative light.

And I think Jess makes a really good point of it's like, okay. But now you're 8. Yeah. Like, how the fuck are you supposed to know? I do think it definitely landed a lot of stuff with me where it's like I didn't think that doing things that the gremlins did was a good idea or anything, but, you know, I did and still do definitely find it funny.

But I'm gonna give it, 5 bathroom buddies with a heart. It's It's so technically good. It's such a good movie. It's so well made and it's so well written and beautifully scored. Phoebe Cates is incredible in the movie, But there is so much about the movie, like we said.

It's like, this would work better as a TV series, and the Duffer Brothers agreed. So, I hope that y'all are inspired to watch 2 together. I actually am. Yeah. Okay.

I'd watch it. I'd watch it. He says it he's he's more of a Norman Bates Ted Bundy type. And she says, sickos never scare me. At least they're committed.

And then they abandon each other. And she's like, Alfred, tell me, or tell her a dirty limerick. They're one so demanding One just sprung to mind. Decided to love So cute. Alfred's the best.

Like, they're finding out. Like, I think this is where they have the inkling of who's who very bold. A little. Cocaine. I don't I don't think they have any of it.

It's it's because it's the mistletoe line that which I That's the ultimate thing. Thing. Yeah. But that's the because they both have a very big reaction to that moment. I I I think part of the reason any idea.

I think part of the reason why this movie gives me the fizz is that it's like the will they, won't they, do they, don't they, or do they know, do they not. The the cat and mouse, the bat and the bat and cat of it is Which is so much better than the love triangle of Batman, Bruce Wayne, and doctor Chase Meridian in Batman Forever. That's part of the movie that I just try to erase from my brain. Although, as a teenager, I would pretend to be Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Chase Meridian in my bedroom when I couldn't sleep at night because I just wanted to fuck Batman. Sure.

But, like In the bat suit? Batman's very fucking I wanna get at least parts of it out of the bat suit. Well well, yeah. I would And now now there's the zipper. There's the zipper now.

So did you put the parts? They stay out for the zipper. For the parts. For the part. Wasn't that fun?

Weren't those clips fun? You have fun? You have a good time listening to me and Ben embarrass ourselves in front of our guests? Listening to me and Ben embarrass ourselves in front of our guests? You have a good time?

You feel good? Good. Well, now you're gonna feel even better because it's time for the review review rewards awards. I like review review rewards. Let's go with that.

This season we had a lot of random good times with all sorts of things, including titles and needle drops and clips and things we watched and didn't watch and collected and didn't collect. And now is your chance to hear all about it. And we do have a very special guest here to give out our first award. Sir? Sir?

Kinda leaving me out in the cold here. Why this is me, Arnold Schwarzenegger? And this is me on the screen here riding towards the camera. I can't believe I was thwarted at taking over the review review for the scorching Schwarzenegger summer, but they are having me back here on the program to hand out the very first review review reward. Here we go.

Favorite episode subtitle. Favorite episode subtitle. Okay. Let's see. My favorite episode subtitle is probably let's see.

I think I think my favorite is, the subtitle for ET 8 the extraterrestrial, which is presented by Hans Moleman. This was a a difficult decision for me, Ben. Truly to truly, truly difficult. I have to go with an inclusive cowboy hat environment from Twister Dollar Sign. Our 2 new episode with Sarah Coats this year.

I just adore that, the inclusive cowboy hat environment. Just the vibe idea of it sounds lit. Everybody there would have the riz, No cap. Yeah, dog. Oh, don't you know it's me?

Even though you can't see, it's Michael McDonald handing out the review, review, reward for favorite needle drop sound effect. Favorite needle drop sound effect. Favorite needle drop sound effect. It'll probably be, the one we took from our Innerspace episode, which is MJ Seberg saying, whoopsie. Whoopsie.

Ben, I don't know what it is exactly, and I know it's not in the program here. But I'm gonna go with the Tony Soprano singing dirty work from The Sopranos, from our Iron Giant episode with the wonderful Melinda Hensley. Anytime you can get a good solid needle drop in, but of course, when you get a big old silver magnum sized one in there from good old Steely Dan, that's that's a winner. Yeah. Tell me about it.

Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven't said very much. You didn't say that again. Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven't said very much. Hey. Tell me about it.

Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven't said very much. Yeah. Say that again. Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven't said very much. Hey.

Favorite recurring joke, audio stinger Is probably the yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Dustin from Last Action Hero. This is so difficult because there are a lot of Mhmm. Really enjoyable ones. A lot of Van Damme based ones. Mhmm.

There you go. It just it hit me so crazy the way that Dustin De Leon delivered it so quietly. Mhmm. Mhmm. There you go.

Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. He he shrewd us in the last action hero. I'm gonna I'm gonna have to go with Dustin and the shrew in in last action hero. Mhmm.

There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Mhmm. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Best sponsor. Let's see.

What is my fave I think my favorite sponsor is gotta be Skyline Wine. That was that was probably my favorite. Was that this year or was that last year? Man, all these years blend together, don't they? I think that was the sheared.

Mhmm. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was that was this year. Hold hold.

Hold. Yes. It was. That was that was 2024. Okay.

This this has to be the award of the night. Maybe we should have saved it for last. It it's between OnlyFans and couches, dairy based laxatives, and drunk uncles. And I'm gonna open the envelope and say one thing, and it's gonna be moonlight. It's a I'm gonna go with drunk uncles.

That that was a good, honest sponsor. Raw, vulnerable, you know, looking to change, make progress. Thank you, drunk uncles. I'm I'm drunk uncle. I'm here to present I'm not drunk.

I have, like, a buzz thing. Like, I had a weed with a when I have a beer. So it's not I'm not drunk. Favorite movie reviewed on the podcast didn't include my favorite movie that was or wasn't reviewed. Sound of Freedom, starring Jim Caviezel.

Have you seen frequency? Let's talk about frequency. You know why you don't wanna talk about frequency? Because you're afraid. You know what you're fucking afraid of?

You're afraid of knowing the Favorite review reviewed movie. My favorite movie that we reviewed, that's probably gotta be The Mummy or Minority Report. It's gotta be The Mummy. My favorite movie we reviewed this year, it's gotta be Gremlins. It's 5 stars and a heart.

It's super personal. It's super specific. And it's a great piece of filmmaking, and lessons are learned. And and you have this discourse through the episode, and you ended at 3, 4, 5, and different people are taking different things. It's the soul of this program.

Go through me. And the energy of this program. That's true. The chaos it's similar. We're 1 in the same.

Gremlins. No. Zed. Don't do that, baby. That's yuck.

Talking in there is yuck. Yeah. I love you, beauty girl. It's a yucky movie, yucky podcast. Oh, what was your favorite?

Doing it at all. Is that why you jump? Okay. Well, I think her least favorite movie was every movie. Not favorite movie reviewed.

Not favorite movie that we did? Oh, man. Actually, it's the favorite movie we reviewed, Big Lebowski, not The Mummy. Yeah. It's got yeah.

Big Lebowski. My least favorite movie that we did? Gee. I think it's Alien 3, Paul. Well, I mean, it's Roadhouse.

Clearly, it's Roadhouse for the new new. But if it's not Roadhouse, it's Alien 3. You know what? For a minute, you're almost useful. Holy fucking shit, Ben.

It's crazy that you fucking said that. Oh my god. I can't remember what you said. I I hit my head and now it's red. I feel like I could be dead.

Cocaine. I don't know. Hey. It's Paul from The Edit. Clearly, Ben and I are not in the same room and this is being compiled.

I had no idea. No fucking idea he was gonna say Alien 3. Bad takes. Very funny me pre recording saying holy shit I can't believe you said that. Okay bye.

But my not favorite movie this year was the Roadhouse remake. There was a Willow was a contender in there for me, for personal reasons and nitpicky things and stuff, but in the end, it had to be Roadhouse. I I had some high hopes for that, and I just remake it. I don't the homage is the Roadhouse. I, I'll I'll tell you this for free.

Favorite not review reviewed of 2024. I mean, Nosferatu is up there. I think Conclave is probably my favorite film so far. Ben, I never would have expected you to say that. I never would have expected you to say that.

That is a fucking wild take. Wild. Well, my favorite films of 2024. I'm gonna give it to Sean Baker's and Nora. I love the dialogue.

I love the way it's shot. I I love the the tension and stakes that are what are they really, and why do they matter to me so much? What a cool piece of filmmaking. Also, everybody's weed vaping all the time, so I feel like I belong. And Nosferatu.

And Nosferatu, Robert Eggers. It's gorgeous. It's really well acted, and it's got this goth core atmospheric that's what it gives. It gives goth core atmospheric and I really enjoyed it. Not my favorite take on that story, but really enjoyed the movie.

Need your credit card upon checking. Credit card? You got it. Favorite physical media pickup 2024. My favorite pickup in 2024, I think that's gotta be my steelbook of, Gladiator.

Really, really happy with that. Okay, Paul. I agree, Ben. This is a very important little segment here. We're big proponents of physical media here, and preservation, and things of that nature.

And so we just wanna prop these things up a little bit. It's a cool thing to go, like, rock hounding in bookstores and record stores and various places online, either direct through your distributor or through Barnes and Noble or through an independent or whatever it might be. But I was super excited for 2 specific physical releases this year. The Arrow release of Demolition Man, which I couldn't listen to it in Atmos because I don't have Atmos at home. Let's go blow But the 5.1 audio didn't blow me away.

This guy away. Whatever. But what really did was the Nightmare on Elm Street Steelbook release. It's gorgeous. It sounds amazing.

The features are fantastic. The packaging is great. It depends on how fucking nerdy you wanna get here. But that's a movie that I'm more delighted to watch every year than I have been for a long time because of this release. That says something, especially about a movie I've probably seen, like, 15 times or more.

And I will inevitably get to 20 or 25 based on this release. What a fucking great thing. Fun facts fun facts everybody. It's fun fact time. 2024.

What a year. What a season. What time's with Hannah, Ben? Yeah. Smiley guy, you.

I love it. Our themes are Jamie Henwood on the front and back end. Our what are you doing and what are we watching themes are Matthew Foskett. Fun facts is Chris Olds and a little bit of yours truly using a bunch of free music on GarageBand and mixing that shit together. Yeehaw.

And our interstitials are Ben McFadden, the co host sitting just directly here that I'm looking right at. So endearingly, we have such a good time. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for sharing. We love that you enjoy this and creating this for you and selfishly for ourselves.

We are looking forward to a great 2025 on the review review and for you to have a great 2025. Are you kidding? We appreciate your time, your energy, your interest, your zest, your feedback, your spirit, all of the very best. We are so excited for what's coming this year. Ta ta.

Hi, I'll I'll tell you this. Hi, everyone. This is JJ, the cofounder of Goodpods. If you haven't heard of it yet, Goodpods is like Goodreads or Instagram, but for podcasts. It's new, it's social, it's different, and it's growing really fast.

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